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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out gender without husband

19 replies

MrsSkr · 17/04/2020 01:17

Hi ladies, I have my 20 week scan in a couple if weeks and obviously my husband won't be able to come with me. We planned to find out the gender at the scan so looking for opinions on what to do...obviously we are disappointed but completely understand and thats fine, I just want to still make it special.

I'm trying to decide between just finding out myself and telling him, asking the ultrasonographer to write it on paper to open together or to find out myself and create some sort of wee reveal for him and our dd?

Of course knowing the baby is healthy is most important and it will be special regardless but times are so different and a bit tough just now so just want to make it something nice to remember.

What would you ladies do? Is anyone else in the same position just now? xxx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Twinberry · 17/04/2020 01:33

They’ll include it on the scan report (if you want to know) so I would ask the sonographer to put it on the scan report but not tell you during the scan, and then you can share it with your partner afterwards.

FirstTimeBumps · 17/04/2020 07:05

Our hospital are writing it on a small piece of paper and putting it in an envelope for people. If you're going to find out I'd definitely do it this way x

Knobblybobbly · 17/04/2020 07:08

Will they let you FaceTime while having the scan?

I appreciate this isn’t the nicest way to find out the gender (I like the idea of it written down and put in envelope) but, aside from the gender this, just curious if you are allowed to FaceTime?

Mucklowe · 17/04/2020 07:10

I had my 20-week yesterday. The sonographer told me the sex, and it was actually really lovely to go home and give DH the scan pic saying "this is our daughter". Simple but effective!

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 17/04/2020 07:49

Hi there,

I recently had a similar post. Not every hospital will write down the sex, let you take your phone in or put it in your notes.

My trust, Cardiff and Vale, wouldn't do any of the above.

I tried thinking of cute ways to get around it so that DP and I could find out together. But in the end I decided that hearing it from me would be better than reading it off a scrap of paper or having it in an email.

I didn't ask until all of the checks were finished and we had discussed that there were no problems with baby. The sonogropher was kind enough to show me (though I had no idea what I was looking at) and told me I am likely having a girl. I came out of the hospital where my partner was waiting for me, on the grass surrounded by daisies gave him a hug and told him.

I think partners missing out on the reveal in the scan is a shame, but hearing it from you can be more special!

ThanksItHasPockets · 17/04/2020 09:07

Unfortunately most NHS sonographers won’t write down the sex for you (private clinics only do so after you’ve signed a waiver promising not to sue if they are wrong). I think that in the current circumstances some trusts have relaxed their rules around making video calls from the scan so perhaps ask if this would be possible.

RhymingRabbit3 · 17/04/2020 09:10

He will only find out a few hours after you do. You could even ring him from the hospital car park. Does it really matter if you know the sex of the baby for an hour before he does? It doesn't really make any difference until after the baby is born anyway.

If you're really desperate to both find out the sex at the same time, have a private scan (if they're still running?) Or wait and find out st the birth.

Maxwillpop · 17/04/2020 20:54

I am having to do the same in a few weeks time and my husband is gutted he cant come as he was there for our other two children, so i am gonna do a gender reveal for them when we get home, my kids have decided they want the throw water ballons and for one of them to have coloured water in to find out the gender. They are excited to find out the same time as daddy.

WickedlyPetite · 17/04/2020 20:56

There's always the option of waiting until the birth and finding out together.

Namechangervaver · 17/04/2020 20:57

Sex, not gender

BrooHaHa · 17/04/2020 20:58

You could wait until birth, of course. That's what I'm doing.

Miseryl · 17/04/2020 20:59

Another one... sex not gender.

Cheyanne101 · 17/04/2020 21:04

Hey everyone... i am in the same boat! Think ill do my own little gender reveal for him! Also while on the subject lol can i ask what type of pregnancy your having such as sickness, cravings etc you have on a boy or a girl if you have found out?or have children....
I just like to guess 😂 i know everyone's different!

Peapod29 · 17/04/2020 21:05

Well I found out in the scan and sent my dh a Facebook message to tell him the news (he was working offshore at the time) . He wasn’t able to be at either of our 20weeks scans actually. In the nicest way, it’s really not massively important how he finds out. You’re either having a boy or a girl. It’s not a major surprise and honestly as long as he can be there when baby is born that will eclipse anything else in the run up. I haven’t once thought about the ‘moment’ we knew if we were having girls or boys since they’re been born and neither has dh. I would just find out at the scan and tell him when you get home.

Original poster

MrsSkr · 17/04/2020 22:14

To everyone who replied with a genuine answer to my question, thank you all so much, I really appreciate others opinions and what other people are doing.

To those who only commented to correct me by saying 'sex not gender', thank you but theres really no need, I'm good thanks 😊 and just a wee reminder...its nice to be nice. Costs nothing to be kind girls, which might mean biting your tongue 👍😊

I do know that it doesnt matter what the 'sex' of the baby is, which is why I didnt find out in my first pregnancy but this time we decided to find out for several reasons, mainly to help our daughter, prepare her and allow her to be involved.
I also know it doesnt matter how we find out, just thought that it might be nice to do something nice.

Anyway, thanks for everyones opinions 😊

OP posts:

Starlightstarbright1 · 17/04/2020 22:20

Can I say at my Ds’s scan he opened his legs and pointed his groin at the camera.

It really did not take a somographer to know he was a boy. Ot sure if that is common but may not be able to not know.

Shmabel · 18/04/2020 02:10

Technically it is 'sex' but piping up just to correct the precise term someone uses when we all know what is meant is like correcting grammar. It's tedious, unnecessary and reflects poorly on you.

OP, I hope you find a way to make it as special as it can be.

Shmabel · 18/04/2020 02:11

Also, I second what starlight said - my baby's sex was obvious within seconds of the scan beginning!

Annabel28 · 18/04/2020 19:47

My son wasn't shy either!! We knew before we were told...

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