Struggling with what to do about being pregnant

[Loubylou93]

So I found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago. I think I’m around 5 weeks. I’ve never really wanted kids and me and my partner of 5 years split up around 3 months ago. I was in a really bad place and found comfort in someone else... who’s in a relationship with someone. We’re really good friends, but also coworkers.. it was very casual although I do like him a lot. Now I’ve found out I’m pregnant and really struggling with it. I don’t know what to do. I always said I’d never have an abortion, but I never expected to get pregnant this way either. Obviously i can’t tell anyone who the dad is, and I’m struggling with how to tell him, and if I should tell him. I know he won’t be horrible about it I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a total accident. This is probably karma for sleeping with a taken man, I feel horrible about that. I’m seriously contemplating an abortion but I can’t stand the thought of going through with it. Also worried about people talking about the fact I’m pregnant without a partner. I feel so depressed and don’t know if this is normal or not :(

Oh what a headfuck for you...sorry you are in the situation. So many things must be going round in your head. I think you really need independent counselling on this and to think through the implications of both options which it sounds like will have a profound impact either way. I have not been in your situation but I think the way you are feeling sounds entirely normal and understandable.

Hey @loubylou93.. sorry your in this headspace it can't be easy. If your really considering abortion and its your gut feeling then you have to do what's right for you. I understand that's not everyones way, or feeling about it but this is about you. I would however recommend speaking to your GP or I'm sure there are helplines that may offer unbiased advise. Sleep on it for another couple of nights and see how you feel and in the meantime call your GPs. On the flip side/other view I'm sure you would love your baby and would manage and have support. Best of luck with whatever choice you make!

Put aside people talking about you. Put it out of your mind. No matter what you do, people will have an opinion. Opinions can't hurt you, they don't matter.

Now think about termination. Really think about it. Is this something you can go through with? Is this something you can live with? I was always 100% anti abortion. It wasn't for me. Then a few months after having my son I fell pregnant again. I absolutely could not have another child at the time, in my mind. So I chose to abort. It wasn't something I ever wanted but it didn't kill me as a person, however, it did weigh on me. It's not something to be taken lightly.

Now telling the guy. You should tell him. He might surprise you with his reaction. At the very least, you say he's a friend, so he should be the one to support you through whatever decision you make.
Don't worry about his relationship, that's his problem. He made his choice when he strayed.

Most importantly think about you. What do you need to do for yourself right now?

I really feel for you. Seems like a really difficult position to be in.
If you can consider 1. Can you do it alone. And 2. Do you want the baby?
If the answer is yes to both those questions then go for it.
I’d really recommend you speak to someone impartial though. Or maybe your mum or a friend? Take care xxx

Thanks everyone for your replies. I didn’t expect everyone to be so lovely given what I’ve done. I called docs yesterday and they won’t see me for 2-3 weeks to get it confirmed. I don’t think I’ll 100% know how I feel until it is confirmed. But need to do it ASAP just in case I do want to go ahead with the abortion. I think you’re all right in that I need some independent counselling. I told my sister and she’s really excited and keeps asking me about it which I think is making it worse. I think at the moment I’m swaying towards having an abortion, but I don’t know if I need to speak to the father first.