9 weeks, debating an early private scan. What do you do if something is wrong?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

As the title says really. I’ve no reason so think anything is wrong, but finding it hard to wait another 3 and a half weeks, especially in the event it’s already not viable (I’ve had a previous early miscarriage)

Really tempted to just pay for an early scan, I know the likelihood of a loss really goes down after seeing a heartbeat. But in the event something has already gone wrong and you’re at a private scan, what do you do? Do you call the EPU and tell them and they scan again? Just feel like I need a contingency plan

@Tjsmumma cannot believe you are encouraging Doppler use. So irresponsible. OP I do understand how you feel but I’m trying to take each day as it comes and I have no (Rational) reason to believe anything is wrong. I’ll just have to hold out for my 12 week.

I’m too early to book a scan but I will be doing around 8 weeks. I’ve had two mmc and I think it would drive me crazy just waiting. I would rather know as soon as possible. Do what’s best for your mental health. Let us know what you decide!

Sounds like we’re the same @seventhrow. I’m also sad about DH not being there, but mostly concerned about being alone if something is wrong. But I do also feel like Id rather be in an NHS setting in the event of that.

Ultimately I guess it feels a bit like a false level of control. I just don’t like feeling worried! I’m very aware that i could get a heartbeat now and still lose it, and knowing that early miscarriages are almost always due to chromosome issues, it’s kind already decided if this is going to work out or not, whether I get a scan or not. I think I’m just going to try and chill, go for a long exercise walk to distract myself from the anxiety! The period like back pains I think are just getting to me today, but realistically if something is going to go wrong a scan won’t actually stop it.

@buffalocauliflower yes... I think it would be different if I'd had a MC before. I didn't even know people did them until I came on Mumsnet! I had a pretty disconcerting experience going into the hospital for my booking appointment mid-virus - skeleton staff, had to wait outside department unit in a corridor not knowing if they were even open and no one answering the doorbell for 20mins before someone came to fetch me. (Mind you, it was a Sunday). Got myself into a right state thinking this whole pregnancy thing during a virus was a terrible idea. Going in and knowing something is wrong, whilst on my own - just not something I want to sign up to if it can at all be avoided!

@seventhrow yep! I had a proper meltdown a couple of weeks ago about this not being the pregnancy I signed up for! But ultimately I know this is still one of the best times and places in history to be giving birth in and I just need to keep positive.

I had an early scan at 6 weeks due to a previous ectopic. It was a relief to see that it was in the right place but tbh it didn't stop me worrying. I'm now 31 weeks and I won't properly relax until it's here - I've had friends who've lost babies at every stage, right up to birth, so to me it doesn't make much difference. Having said that my worry is in the background as it won't change anything so I'm not obsessing over it.

What I'm saying is that an early scan is probably not going to do much - as another poster said, it only shows there's a heartbeat at that time. I honestly would stay at home - it's not essential. Pregnancy is one long stint of wondering anyway!

@Fudgewhizz yes you echo a lot of how I’m feeling - worrying but in the background as I know I can’t do anything and a scan won’t change the outcome at this stage. Going to try and be as zen as possible!

I had a private scan at 8 weeks, the weekend before the lockdown and I m glad that I did as my NHS scan is at 12+5 and as a first time mum I know I d be more anxious by now if I hadn't as I d have a little more reason to worry going to the scan alone and getting bad news.

@peachypetite agreed!

I had a private scan at 8 weeks - it was just before Xmas and we wanted to have a bit of certainty before we announced to family (no way we could have kept it under wraps over Xmas between my being sick and refusing alcohol). I don't think I'd have one now but then I've not left the house except for walks at quiet times of day (first or last thing) for four weeks.

It's a really scary time to be pregnant OP so I completely sympathise, I'm trying to control as possible as well right now (and obviously, failing entirely!)

I had an early private scan at 8 weeks due to feeling as though something was wrong. Sack there, no baby

I called the out of hours GP who sent me to the hospital (a few towns over) for a scan. Referred me to the EPU. Had a scan at EPU. Then another in two weeks.

I had a blighted ovum and was given the option for medical intervention or to go home and miscarry. I opted for medical intervention. I had a third appointment where I had the medication. Then a fourth where I was given the pessary and kept on ward to miscarry. I was also given anti-D.

I didn't start to bled on ward, so I was sent home where I dispelled the pregnancy. Took me about two weeks to finish up bleeding. Didn't have to have any follow up.

I am going to take a different view than some others on here and I really do believe if it is affecting your mental health, it is an essential trip. I struggle with anxiety myself and I had a private scan this morning (14 weeks) the precautions were so high, had to change gloves on arrival, only 1 person allowed in, no guests, only one ‘patient’ allowed in the pretty big waiting room at a time. I was having heart palpitations and these have settled since since my baby. I think you’ve more chance of getting something from the supermarket. If you feel you need to go- then go.

It is completely your decision OP. As others have said if it is impacting your mental health then it might be worth it.

@Vicki81 I'm in a similar position to you. Small bleed at 5.5 weeks, scanned and a sack but no baby, went back two weeks later and baby and flickering HB seen but behind on dates so have another scan next week (two weeks after my last scan). I've booked a private scan for tomorrow as I'd rather just know if things aren't working out so I can get my head round it, rather than the limbo I'm currently in.

In terms of care at a private clinic if things the pregnancy isn't going to plan I think its variable. To be honest my care last week was poor at hospital, I was told by the sonographer I have a high chance of miscarriage, then she booked me in for a scan in two weeks and gave me a number to call if I started bleeding and that was it. No follow up with a doctor or midwife or guidance on what might happen next.

I did a private scan a couple weeks ago. I needed to for my mental health . It felt safe and no worse than going grocery shopping .

I think it depends on the individual and if the benefits outweigh the negatives because there is a risk every time you leave the house .

A couple years ago I was cramping and thought I was having a miscarriage. I was 9 weeks pregnant. I went for a private scan and the baby had not developed past 5/6weeks . I was told to see if the bleeding would start on it’s own but to call my GP. My GP suggested waiting and if I hadn’t started bleeding then they could give me something to speed it up . She also booked me in for another scan to confirm the baby hadn’t developed.

Anyway around 10 weeks I miscarried and passed everything at home . It was pretty horrible and emotional and my heart breaks for anyone who goes through a miscarriage.

Overall not a lot medically went into my miscarriage .

I had a private scan last week at 6 weeks pregnant, there are still several companies which are open. I was happy enough that I wasn’t any more likely to get covid than at the supermarket, they had spaced out appointments and the other woman waiting was on her own too. I’ve never had a miscarriage but most people I know have, and so I wanted to have a bit of reassurance that there was a heartbeat so I could try enjoy the pregnancy a tiny bit more.
I feel more comfortable, obviously anything can go wrong but I’m happily discussing names with my husband wheras last week I was too nervous

I have a private scan booked for friday where I will be 8+6. I had a miscarriage in november at 8 weeks so had booked this scan just before the lockdown.

I am having to stay at home due to underlying health conditions and I will 100% be attending the scan. We had to go to the epu last week due to a bleed so as you can imagine my anxiety is sky high. Thankfully they were able to find a heartbeat but my partner was not allowed in.

This scan is very much for my mental health and also allows my partner to be able to see the baby too. I had an early scan at 6 weeks when I miscarried and saw the heartbeat so I know that there are no guarantees but if the worst does happen then I want to have that memory for us both of seeing our wee one.

No one can tell you what to do but all I would say is do what is best for you. I know where I am alot of clinics are closed apart from the odd one or two and they have ramped up their precautions.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx

@BuffaloCauliflower you could ask the private clinic what their process is if things aren't as expected? They should have a plan if they are reputable.

Objectively the risk involved in going is relatively low but irrespective of the current situation I think this is a very personal choice.

I'd echo comments from another poster that even if you're in the hospital you don't necessarily have a better experience. I was referred for a scan at 7+6 because of sharp left side pain and they wanted to rule out ectopic. I was bleeding when I arrived at the EPU, they did the scan, in the right place but only 5wks (tiny 1mm fetal pole). Despite the bleeding and the dates being off I was told most pregnancies are successful, keep my chin up and come back in two weeks hopefully to see a heartbeat and given a number to call if the bleeding got worse. It did so I called. I was told to stay at home unless filling more than 2 pads an hour so I stayed at home and miscarried on my own. Midwife service called and I explained what had happened - they told me not to give up hope (even though I'd passed the placenta by this point) and insisted I come back in 2 weeks. At that scan they confirmed what I already knew and gave me a leaflet about what to expect in MC, which I'd already had.

Physically I was lucky and it wasn't that bad for me but the whole process was ridiculous and I don't think being at a hospital helped in any way whatsoever. At my second scan having lost my baby I was in the waiting room for 90 minutes next to a girl talking loudly about her abortion. You wouldn't get that in a private clinic!

Now I'm PG again but I'm not getting an early scan. I don't think I would want to medically manage a MC and it would be worse knowing but having to wait for it to happen naturally. Because of previous MC I don't feel connected to this pregnancy at all and I don't think a scan would reassure me. But that's my choice and this is such an individual thing.

Sounds like you're about 9 weeks? I know you know this but MC is pretty rare by the time you get this far along anyway (I've seen estimates of less than 5%) and MMC is actually really rare. It's a distorted view in here because people come seeking support when they are worried or when something has gone wrong. So likelihood is it would be good news whether you go now or wait. Go with what you think is right for you!

I had an early private scan with ultrasound direct. I'd already had a scan at epau and seen a heartbeat but I felt something was wrong. When I went to the private scan there was no heartbeat. They were very dismissive and unhelpful. Without warning they also sent me the video from the scan by email and photos of the dead foetus. I rang epau and told them and they agreed to scan me to confirm what I'd been told.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant again now and not had any scans. I'm trying to avoid it plus I also feel that having seen a heartbeat and then go on to lose it that an early scan wouldn't reassure me much

As far as I know most private scan places are closed until May anyway

Thanks @Mimba1 when I had my early loss (5+3) last year EPU were lovely but also it was pretty clear what was happening so no way to think otherwise. Sorry to hear about your bad experience.

And the logical, sensible part of my brain knows you’re right about likelihood of miscarriage at this stage, I’m even the one telling people all the time MMC are far less common than they seem here for exactly the reason you state, but somehow when it’s me it’s harder to trust. Even if they’re rare they have to happen to someone, why not me?! But I also keep reminding myself pregnancies have to go well at least a good chunk of the time as we are all here. I seem to combine anxiety and pragmatism in a very frustrating way 😂 thankfully DH is the calm and collected sort

@triedandtestedteacher sorry to hear about your experience, I am kind of with you on it being a bit of a false reassurance anyway.

Oh @Mimba1 I meant to ask, why do you say you wouldn’t want medical management? I’ve no experience of it but interested in your view

@Workingmama1, did either the hospital or the midwife give you any advice about the fact the dates are two weeks out?
I asked both for rough indication as to whether it’s likely to develop properly or not, but was just told to wait and see!

@BuffaloCauliflower another really personal decision with no right and wrong! To be clear I'm not anti-medical establishment at all and usually would be the first one in the queue but somehow being PG brings out the emotional decision-maker in me! So I have two reasons, neither backed up with any evidence whatsover:

1 - I feel that it would be better for my body to manage it itself and deal with the loss, the hormones and everything when it is ready to. No science behind this just a feeling that there's a lot going on and it can sort itself out and get back to normal fertility more quickly itself.

2 - I read in the BMJ that they changed the 7 day wait after a "pregnancy of uncertain viability" scan to 14 days because 1 in 200 (I think) pregnancies diagnosed as a miscarriage were actually viable. The same study said there was zero chance of misdiagnosis after 14 days but I would still have an irrational thought that I could've had the miracle child if only I'd waited. The same way I will always wonder if that wine I had before I knew, the tough run I went on the day before it happened, the hot bath I had not knowing I shouldn't or the panic attack I had early on caused the miscarriage - even though everything I've read, heard and seen says none of those things could've contributed in any way. I guess I don't like the idea of being an active participant in ending it even though the logical part of my brain says that's fine - waiting must be horrific and it won't objectively change the outcome but I would feel more to blame I think.

Obviously if anything was going wrong I would be straight to the hospital.

Hopefully not a decision either of us will have to make!