Depressed in isolation

[floss1547]

Hey, I just need to rant or I guess someone to talk to? Please don't comment a load of abuse, I really Cba with it. I'm pregnant and currently living at home, I'm not with the baby's dad and my parents work at the hospital. As you know there's this pandemic happening and we aren't allowed to meet friends or family. Before this, I was overcoming my depression and thought I was getting better but since this isolation has started, my mental health has been deteriorating rapidly. My family keep saying things like that they're defo going to get this virus as they work at the hospital and that me and my baby are gonna get it. They're constantly snapping at me because I'm feeling depressed and I'm just staying in my room, they're saying things like that I'm making everyone else feel shit cos I'm depressed and I need to get over it. They're constantly having people around to the house knowing damn well I'm pregnant and that I'm at risk and when I ask them if people can stop coming round they absolutely flip and they said that I'll just have to sit inside then and everyone will go outside. I'm feeling more and more alone each day and keep wondering to myself what is the point in waking up? I've been alone through out the start of my pregnancy and I can't handle this anymore. I'm getting to the point of being suicidal and when I mention to anyone how bad my mental health is, they all say that I'm overreacting and that I need to get a grip. Idk why I'm really writing this but I feel so so alone.

There is nothing worse than someone who doesn't understand depression, telling you to 'get over it!'
There are so many forums that you can come to (obviously this one) and numbers you can call to talk to someone when you are at your worst. Please remember you are not alone.
I suffer with separation anxiety and anxiety and depression in general and the lockdown is just making everything worse, so you really aren't the only one who is going through these emotions, though you may feel like it right now!
I have been referred to the antenatal mental health department, though I haven't actually spoken with anyone yet.
If your parents are not helping you, do you have another family member or friends(s) you can speak to? Video chat/FaceTime I find helps instead of just a normal phone call.
You also need to speak to your midwife as well as she can put you in touch with a counsellor or someone you can talk to.
Being at the point of suicidal is very concerning and my heart breaks for you that you are getting to that point! 😢
The fact that you have posted shows you want help and that is a massive help for your mental health straight away!
Sending you virtual hugs! ❤️❤️❤️

Just wanted to add that you are not alone. I too am pregnant. Currently 32 weeks and I actually feel really awful and selfish when i say I am down and depressed when I know there's worse off people out there.

I was doing ok mentally during the pregnancy but the current situation leaves me so anxious and depressed I feel so trapped and I just feel like I never know when it's going to end.

It's so hard when you don't have a supportive family and it's really unhelpful to suggest you "need to get a grip". Have you considered speaking to your GP or midwife. There are absolutely things to help you so please know that what your feeling now is temporary and it will get better. I have recently gotten to the point when I have accepted I need help as I don't want to feel like this anymore so have made a GP app.

Ive found recently keeping myself busy doing things for baby. Sorting through her clothes making lists of things for hospital bag has really helped me. Also I avoid as much negative news as possible. At the moment negative news is all we hear but for my own mental health I avoid as much as possible as i find it overwhelming and I get so fixated on it and then I end up so anxious as a result.

I'm sorry I'm no help I just wanted you to know your not alone even if you feel that way xxx

Thank you so much @lockdownpregnancy for replying, I hope that you're going to be ok too? I've just been on the phone to the mental health crisis team for the last hour and a bit. I'm feeling so depressed but I could never bring myself to do owt because of my baby. My midwife doesn't have a clue that I'm feeling like this, I darent tell her Incase they take my baby off of me. Growing up social services was involved all the time so I'm scared because I don't want the same thing happening to me and my baby. Unfortunately I'm not in contact with most of my family and the 2 friends I have are suicidal anyway so I don't want to put my rubbish on them. I really hope that you're going to be okay too? Are you pregnant too? I just wish this isolation was over and done with!! ❤️ xxx

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like that too @Lj199024 . You're really not selfish for feeling like that, depression is a bitch. I feel the exact same as you, trapped! I know we don't know eachother but I'm proud of you and @lockdownpregnancy for reaching out for help. Maybe just chatting and expressing our feelings on here to eachother can maybe help us in a way? I really hope that you're okay and that things get better for you, thank you for replying xxxx

Obviously you're pregnant haha, it says it in your username. Sorry @lockdownpregnancy xx

@floss1547 I don't have much advice in afraid but just wanted to offer a handhold and say that you're not alone in getting like this. Lockdown is shit, especially when pregnant (I'm 24 weeks) and it sounds like you've got a lot to be feeling with on top of all that

A lot to be dealing with..

Thank you @Stupidandmiserable for replying. I'm 24 weeks too, when are you due? I didn't realise that so many people felt like this too. I hope that you're going to be okay too? Xx

I feel shit too. OH family are nasty to me I feel they don't care about me or the baby and my anxiety levels are through the roof 😢 also 24 weeks xx

@floss1547 I'm 16 weeks pregnant but had anxiety since I was a child.
In terms of social services they will categorically not take your baby off you, unless they feel you are a danger to the baby or yourself.
If you seek help now, then there is no need to get them involved.
I'm so happy you've been in the phone with a crisis team.
The system (though floored, due to no fault of their own) is there to help you, not punish you because you have mental health problems.
There are so many of us that go through how you're feeling everyday and this lockdown is just making everything worse!
Getting help now to try and stabilise you before baby gets here is the best thing you can be doing. What you have done tonight is a huge step so well done you!
I feel crap most days but I always try and be positive and I'm extremely lucky I have a wonderful support network.
It sucks that you don't have that, as it's so important. Getting on the phone and talking (like you have just been doing) is the best thing. They are there 24/7.
I hope you start to turn a corner soon 🥰🥰🥰

Well for a start your family don't sound very supportive at all! You're not overreacting and telling you to 'get a grip' is completely unhelpful. Being pregnant is hard enough without also being in isolation. I'm shocked that they think it's okay to have people over when they work in a hospital too

Do tell your midwife. Pre- and postnatal depression are so common, she will be entirely used to it and it's far better to say something - it shows strength and a desire to change the situation. If they took babies off those of us who've had PND about half of us wouldn't have kids You can get help from the antenatal mental health team. You are not alone and you are entirely normal.

As for the situation at home I'm not sure what to suggest, as it doesn't sound like they're suddenly going to change. Just keep out of their way as much as possible and I agree with the poster above who suggested sorting baby stuff etc. for you

@floss1547 due 29th July

I think what makes it worse is feeling like I should be happy.. I'm having a baby! And the sun is shining! But actually lots of things are pretty crappy. I think giving myself "permission" to be miserable almost helps.. but maybe that's just me .

and for all of us while we get through this..

Hey Floss - just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling miserable at this time. I've suffered from mental health issues in the past and being locked up and pregnant whilst worrying about family has been really difficult... all the things that I would ordinarily do to try and cheer myself up or change my perspective aren't available at this time.
It sounds like you need some constructive help and a compassionate listening ear. Were the mental health crisis team any help? I've been referred to the antenatal mental health unit so they can keep an eye on me but haven't heard back yet... Can you do the same? You said that you were concerned that the baby might be taken away, but the mental health team will be there precisely to help people who are struggling. I don't have experience in terms of what social services might do but I can't see them taking a baby away from you unless you were an addict, in trouble with the law, or actively trying to hurt yourself right now. It takes a lot for services to take a baby away from the biological mother...

www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/mental-wellbeing/mental-health-faqs/will-my-baby-be-taken-away
There's something really important highlighted in the page above ^ . Seeking help and getting the right treatment is acting in the best interests for your baby.
Wishing you all the best xxxx