Doing the deed when pregnant

[Thekindyoufindinasecondhand]

Ever since I've been pregnant my sex drive has been really low. I don't hate the way I look, or worry that is hurting baby etc I'm just not in the mood at all. My husband doesn't seem to be either! Usually we probably both initiate equally but he definitely hasn't as much since I've been pregnant, which I haven't discussed too much as I'm more than happy to go with it. Has anyone else felt like this? I thought there was meant to be this rush of sexual desire but I'm as far from that as can be! I'm 23 weeks.

I've had no sex drive whatsoever, we had sex once around 16 weeks and all I could think about was how sick I felt!
I have however from 32 weeks started to work up abit of a sex drive again!

Mine died a death in my second pregnancy. I was tired, sore and very sick.

I'm 25 weeks, we've been 'doing it' every other day since the start. Since lockdown sometimes twice a day
My sex drive hasn't really changed but I imagine the bigger I get the more difficult it may become!

If neither you or partner aren't in the mood, it's fine to continue as you are. Whatever makes you both happy x

I've gone the other way... I have hormone issues diagnosed last year that destroyed my sex life and it was very rare I was in the mood or had energy to do anything. To the point it was worrying how I was ever going to get preggers in the first place!
Now the change in hormones has flipped that. Maybe it just goes the other way in other people?

I'm coming up for 20 weeks and have absolutely zero libido. Plus, I just can't see how having an orgasm would in any way help/not harm the baby. I've read all the literature online about it, and everyone says it's safe, but how can it be? The uterus contracts like crazy when you orgasm, so surely the baby feels it.

Just feels wrong/dangerous.

Glad to hear it's not only me! I think a cuddle is all I want right now. @littleboyjuly2020 sounds like you're having enough for all of us haha enjoy

@Thekindyoufindinasecondhand Only for now! We're fortunate to not be working or working from home (furloughed) so we both have a bit of extra energy! Obviously it'll come to an abrupt end when baby arrives

I'm the same I hardly fancy it, got to really be in the mood and I'm 24 weeks!
My partner isn't really bothered about it either it seems! The baby has killed our sex life before it's even here 😂.

@jdy123 I know! I did say to my husband a few weeks ago it's been ages since we had sex, are you bothered and he just kind of said I'll leave it up to you whilst your pregnant, basically if you want it you know where I am. Poor guy probably doesn't realise the next time I'll be trying to get him into bed our child will be going off to university

I'm 27 weeks and totally the same! It's not down to feeling unattractive or anything like that - just can't think of anything worse right now. I think as long as you're talking about it, it's all good. I had a similar conversation with my husband. At first I felt really bad as all I was hearing was how your sex drive rockets with all the hormones.... Couldn't help but think it was just me!!!

Me too. I’m 17 weeks and we’ve DTD once since conception. Unfortunately, probably due to the copious amounts of TTC, my DH is feeling like a rampant teenager. Not a good combination.

Hi all I'm in the same boat it's the last thing on my mind, I'm 21 weeks and it's completely gone for me, he seems to be OK and not forcing me so I am gathering this is normal in pregnancy.

These types of posts make me feel a lot better that it's not just me 😅!

Omg thank god it’s not just me.
In fact one of the very first pregnancy symptoms I had was total evaporation of my libido. Like the whole concept of sexual intercourse felt alien. And my dp has not even initiated anything either.
I’ve also had insomnia annoyingly.
And I’m only 7 weeks in!!!

Nearly 9 weeks here and we’ve done it once in that time, and I’m usually the one who’s got the higher libido! I think biologically it makes sense, my libido is generally linked a lot to my cycle (higher when most fertile) and right now it’s just unnecessary as I’m already pregnant! No need to DTD. I’m sure it’ll come back at some point, luckily neither of us are hugely worried about it

I'm 37 weeks and my sex drive went downhill from about 12 weeks. We have had it during, not nearly as much as before but when I started to get bigger and gain weight I just felt so unattractive now at 37+2 I'm just uncomfortable. I feel for my other half but he understands. He does also find it a little odd with a big bump!

We've hardly done it at all. We went from extra sexy times four or five times a week – our 'usual' is about two or three – to zilch. I did have some vaginal problems, which affected us being able to do it, but we didn't particularly want to anyway. I was surprised as DH's lack of sex drive, as he's usually up for it whenever; maybe one of those 'sympathy symptoms'. Like others I don't feel unsexy at all, which is actually pretty unusual for me as I'm a major self-deprecator. Anyway, we finally did it on Friday, at almost 22 weeks! We'll see how long this lasts, though .

Sounds like we are all in the same boat! Like a PP said it does make me feel better hearing it's not just my sex drive that seems to have VANISHED