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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you have everything ready?

23 replies

Stefka · 13/09/2007 12:58

I am 35+4 and I just want everything ready! My husband doesn't seem to understand the sense of urgency I feel. We currently have a long term guest (relative of my husbands) in what will be the baby's room and it is driving me insane that I can't get in there and sort it out. When did other people have everything ready by?

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Gemy · 13/09/2007 13:35

Hi Stefka I can totally understand your sense of urgency and I think I'd have kicked the guest out of baby's room already!

I had everything ready by now inc cotbed up, drawers stocked on babywipes and I just liked to wonder in there and take out the little sleepsuits and daydream...Plus you need to see how the layout of the furniture works for you with regards to changing table, shelves being at right height, making sure there;s nothing to trip you up/stub your toe in middle of night for night feeds etc etc

I would try and explain to your husband that the baby will arrive soon and that these things have to be done NOW!

Good luck

designerbaby · 13/09/2007 15:38

Relocate guest onto sofa ASAP... and then encourage them to find a pace of their own (easier if sofa is VERY uncomfortable )

It doen't matter when you 'should' have everything ready - getting the nursery ready is part of the fun, for you, and it's obviously stressing you out - which is the last thing you need at this point.

And not unreasonable for you to get quite stroppy with DH if he doesn't comply, in my opinion. Throw a tanrtum and cry. In my experience that usually works .

DB
xx

Kathyis6incheshigh · 13/09/2007 15:51

Oooooh, what if Stefka's urge to get everything ready is the nesting instinct and means she is about to pop?

feetheart · 13/09/2007 15:55

Use 'pregnancy hormones' to your full advantage and throw the BIGGEST strop ever.
I don't think I ever had everything ready and DD started Reception this week but it is part of the fun and obviously it is stressing you out.
If it helps tell him stress is likely to bring on early labour, that might spur him into action

Good luck

designerbaby · 13/09/2007 16:00

Totally with you, feetheart...

Stefka - it's time to exploit those hormones.

It takes a really cold hearted kind of person to argue with an angry, crying, upset, pregnant lady...

STROP OUT, baby...

DB
xx

BetsyBoop · 13/09/2007 16:45

definitely NEED to have it ready ASAP

"term" is considered anything after 37wks, so that gives you exactly 9 days.......

I agree - throw a preggo hormones strop

Original poster

Stefka · 13/09/2007 20:49

It's a really difficult situation. My DH is not from the UK and is finding it hard because in his culture you just don't ask people to leave - they wouldn't understand. Over there the families do all live in a couple of rooms so he won't get that I need that room for the baby. Not to mention that I don't want someone here when I get home from hospital leaking from all sorts of places. It's a pretty miserable situation.

OP posts:

Gemy · 13/09/2007 21:17

Can you ask them to leave? Because after the birth you will not want any addition house guests. Perhaps tell the guest you can give birth at any time and ask then politely to make their departure plans. You are not being unreasonable and whether your DH is used to different living arrangements, well, you are about to have a baby and this is not your concern.

Can you get some baby magazines that include nursery interiors and try and show him the kind of thing that we do in the UK?

Original poster

Stefka · 13/09/2007 21:30

He doesn't speak English. It's hard because he's super nice and always helps out around the house and I don't want to put the man on the street but it is just bad bad timing. DH knows he needs to go but does not know how to do it without seriously offending him. Poor hubby under a lot of pressure trying to change job and get work sorted so we can survive financially - it's all a nightmare really.

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Kathyis6incheshigh · 13/09/2007 21:34

Can you start working round him - keep on being friendly and welcoming but move a cot in there?

lornaloo · 13/09/2007 21:39

I know what you mean, we moved house when I was 6 months pregnant and only got ds bedroom ready the day before I went in to be induced. He was in the bed with me for 8 months though so I need not have worried.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 13/09/2007 21:41

That's a good point Lornaloo - if they're in your room for the first 6 months you might not really use a nursery for ages. Does nappy changing have to be in there or can you do it in the bathroom?

Gemy · 13/09/2007 21:46

I'm sorry Stefka but I think you need to be selfish here. Your house guest is a grown man and he's going to have to fend for himself. You are going to have your hands full and there is lots still to do.

It does sound like your DH has alot going on but so do you. And it's time for your house guest to leave (you should not feel apologetic about this! Most of us would have never agreed to a long term houseguest anyway - regardless of being pregnant - you have done your bit!)

Original poster

Stefka · 13/09/2007 21:57

I wish I had known that this situation would occur when I said he could stay for a bit. He's trying to get work but has been here for a month and nothing is happening. I don't see it happening any time soon. Our house is small as it is and it is stressing me out. I've been putting any baby stuff in that room in the hope he will get the message in some way but I can't get in there to sort it out properly.

I also know I am going to want privacy when I come home from the hospital and not have to be worrying about another person in the house.

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Original poster

Stefka · 14/09/2007 08:22

Thanks for the support everyone - I managed to have a wee chat with DH last night and he responded badly at first but then really well. He just left for work and told me he would get it sorted and that I wasn't to worry. I don't know how the hell he is going to do it but knowing that he knows how I feel and that he wants to get it sorted has helped. In the mean time I guess I will just do as much as I can in that room as possible

OP posts:

Eaglebird · 14/09/2007 09:28

Are there any friends or relatives who could put your guest up?
It might be a bit easier if DH can explain about the difference in cultures, and that the guest room is now needed for the baby, but that so-and-so has a spare room he can stay in for a while. Then your guest isn't being turfed out onto the streets, so to speak.
It's an awkward situation, and I hope you get sorted soon.
If it's any consolation, I'm 34+4 and my baby's room has just had a new window fitted & been replastered. I'm currently waiting for the plaster to dry out so it can be painted. It also needs a new floor laying, door & skirting boards fitting & varnishing. Also need to buy & assemble a cot, wardrobe, drawers etc...aaargh

piggysgal · 14/09/2007 09:41

Hope your dh is true to his word and sorts this out tonight. The fact that your houseguest comes from a different culture is absolutely beside the point. Your comfort and your baby's comfort is paramount here, and anything else pales into insignificance by comparison. As you say, the last thing you want is to come home from the hospital with your new baby and have this man, however nice he is, still there. It would spoil what should be a lovely, bonding time, just you and your dh and new baby. Something like that would probably make me more vulnerable to PND.

Original poster

Stefka · 14/09/2007 11:32

You know I was actually thinking that it might make me more prone to PND which is a bit of a worry for me as I have suffered from depression in the past.

We live in Scotland but I think he would be better of on London where he would be more likely to get work. DH does have a brother down there but he's being a pain and unreliable and not offering to take him. Very frustrating. I do feel a bit bad as DH says the chances are he just won't understand - he'll think we hate him. I don't want him to think that - he's a really nice guy and I have a lot of time for him. But as you say I want that bonding time when we get back plus I may well need that other room to sleep in myself because DH snores like an idiot! I just can't imagine having to deal with all the post birth stuff with a guest in a house so small.

OP posts:

Blackduck · 14/09/2007 11:54

Never and still don't.......

JARM · 14/09/2007 12:05

Im 30 weeks on monday and what will be baby's room is erm....... lets just say a work in progress!

We only moved in here last weekend, so we need to completely redecorate, order new cot and pushchair and well everything really!

No hopsital bag packed yet either.

Can see me trying to unpack boxes while in labour to find the baby clothes!

Gemy · 14/09/2007 13:18

Well done Stefka you did the right thing Now your DH realises the seriousness of the situation, hopefully he will sort it straight away....leaving you do do what you need to: prepare and get organised. That and spend some time with your husband alone because, after the baby arrives, this can be impossible! Enjoy your last few weeks together

Best of luck,
xx

aikigypsy · 14/09/2007 14:13

32 weeks, camping out at my parents' house waiting for DP to join me here, all of MY stuff in boxes, not to mention the baby things. TBH, we're not planning on setting up an actual nursery until we move into a place longer-term, which will probably happen sometime in the winter or spring, many months after the baby is out.

The long term guest situation sounds sooo awkward. I do hope he'll move out soon, and understand that you don't have any problem with him, but just need more space, but I know that sometimes people from other cultures just can't understand our need for space. Your husband's brother should suck up and help out!!!

Jobi1 · 14/09/2007 14:23

Hi guys, I'm new on here so be gentle with me!

I am 29+3 and we are in the process of moving to a house from a one bedroom flat. Everything is going through and our buyer is ready but our vendor's solcitor is holding things up and trying to put back the date. Its driving me nuts and I'm sooo stressed. We have nothing except a few clothes and a buggy at the moment, and the idea of being this unprepared for too much longer makes me want to cry!

I hope your husband sorts things out today, I can totally understand where you are coming from, especially with regard to someone being in the house when you get hom from hospital.

Good luck.

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