Horrendous anxiety over baby's health - please help

[robin2]

I'm due to give birth at the end of April and have worked myself up into a complete state. I have a really bad feeling that my baby is going to have major health problems or that something will go wrong in childbirth.

The baby is very large (97th percentile) and I'm terrified that it could get stuck, not get enough oxygen and this could lead to permanent brain damage. I have told the hospital I'm considering an ELCS because I feel it's so much safer for the baby, but they said they want to try induction followed by an EMCS if needed.

I'm a high risk pregnancy (consultant led) due to various issues, and at my most recent scan the consultant has assured me there's nothing to worry about and an induction shouldn't pose any risks. They checked the baby and said that all looks well.

I felt reassured after this, but doubts quickly started to creep in again and I've now booked a private scan at 38 weeks to get a second opinion, as I'm frightened they could have overlooked something.

My hospital seems to be well thought of, but I recently discovered via Google that the maternity department has previously been sued for medical negligence!! This is partly why I decided to book a private scan.

All of this means my anxiety is absolutely killing me, I can't sleep at all and can't stop crying. I've spent hours and hours googling medical papers about the potential risks with my conditions and it's the most frightening reading.

We have bought loads of baby stuff and it's all in the nursery room, still in its packaging, because I can't bring myself to go in there and look at it - it's too upsetting.

Please please help

You poor thing! It sounds like now is the time to try and advocate for yourself as strongly as possible for an elective c-section. Explain the mental anguish you’re in and that might help. There are guidelines supportive elective c-sections I think, maybe have those to hand and quote from them? Say you won’t stop getting in touch till it’s scheduled? Good luck.

Thanks. I don't even know who to speak to about it as I've been passed around so many consultants and midwives. How do I know if a caesarean is the right decision for my baby and if it is, why are the hospital going for an induction?

Also, does anyone know when you can opt for a caesarean - does it have to be done months in advance? I would like to get the private consultant's opinion but will be 38 weeks by then.

I can totally understand why you are feeling nervous. It's such a personal decision and experience, you have to do what's best for you.

Firstly
Their prediction on babies percentile is a prediction - it's not always correct. I was predicted an 11lb-er and he was "only" 9lbs 4.

Secondly
There isn't evidence that large babies are harder to birth as far as I'm aware.

Yes you can opt for a c section if you have personal reasons. I did this. I had the most debilitating pelvic pain I couldn't walk, could barely move without intense pain - they wanted to induce me for the babies size but I said I'd prefer a c section - the consultant offered the reasons why natural birth is better but said I could have one. This was at 37/38 weeks.

I had the same anxieties, I had 5 growth scans and every time she was near the 90th centile, I ended up having one an 40+3 and she was apparently nearly 9lb, I’m only 5ft 2 so I just cried and cried! I went into labour a week later and when she was born she was only 7lb 1oz so the scans were completely inaccurate and I wish I had never worried so much!!

Please stop googling - it will make anxiety so much worse. You will always find something to support your anxiety (from experience)

I was consultant led and had to have a neurologist monitoring me during my induction as well as obstetrics. I was terrified of still birth which can happen with my condition, along with my higher than ideal BMI. But once I told midwives about it they were very reassuring. I felt much safer during induction as baby and I were constantly monitored. If you’re high risk they will monitor you and baby every step of the way, and will intervene IF necessary. We were induced at 38 weeks, 4 weeks ago now. I had an early epidural (a choice I made with my neuromuscular consultant and obstetrics consultant) to preserve my muscles and nerves and it was the best thing we could’ve done as avoided a section (the recovery from a section would’ve made my condition worse) and made the process a lot easier on me so I had energy to push. Once in established labour they had me on the monitor constantly and when he was low enough they popped a clip on his head so we knew exactly how he was doing. His head was 97th centile on scans - but by being a little earlier he popped out at a lovely 7lb11oz with very little effort.

Go back to the consultant and be really honest and open about how you feel. Ask them about risks (they will have a far better idea of if there are risks to the babies health) and ask them to explain their thoughts for what they are suggesting. Make sure they know how you are feeling emotionally so they can take this into account.

I would also talk to the midwife about your anxiety (I would call them Tuesday as you sound very distressed) as that will also be worse once baby is born (from experience) and they can support you with that and put a plan in place.

There are pros and cons to vaginal induction and sections - vaginal is better for baby where possible (lungs and good bacteria from birth canal) which is why they will offer induction (also better physically for you), but your emotional health will be an important factor also.

As baby is looking well on scans, it’s very much what’s the best decision for you at this point as there is no reason to suggest baby won’t cope with a vaginal delivery. If they felt baby was too big they would have offered you a section based on your last scan. Can you discuss the decision with a partner? Midwife? Close friend? Family?

On the medical negligence question -- Every maternity department in the country has been sued for medical negligence in the last 10 years. Going private won't prevent this (they're just as likely to be sued). 99.9% of births in the UK do not result in a lawsuit, and lawsuits often result in a settlement when in it's not clear whether anything could have been done differently. I really wouldn't read anything into that particular aspect, honestly. It's more important that your hospital is well thought of, that's a good sign.

I think this is a mental health issue and you need to seek mental health help. It is not within normal range to feel so anxious at this stage with no underlying reason to. Call the midwife on Tuesday and ask for urgent referral for MH support.

Obstetricians get sued all the time, it doesn't mean anything.

If they felt baby was too big they would have offered you a section based on your last scan.

@Keyboard91 So you don't think they would deliberately try to induce me while knowing all the while that the baby's size could cause huge problems? I've read that hospitals are often very reluctant to grant ELCS because they have certain targets to meet, which is why I don't trust them on this

Thanks Ryvita - it made for very frightening reading but if it's something that happens everywhere then it sounds like there's not a lot I can do.

I don't feel I can speak to the midwife or consultant about my concerns as they just seem so rushed off their feet with everything that's going on, and aren't particularly easy to get hold of. I wish DH could come in with me - I'm not particularly confident and am no good at advocating for myself, especially in my current state of mind.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next three weeks.

Obstetricians get sued all the time, it doesn't mean anything.

Why would they get sued unless they were actually negligent though?

@robin2 they absolutely wouldn’t. They don’t want a stuck baby anymore than you as it’s a big rush and less than ideal. They avoid sections where possible as it’s better for baby and mum to have a vaginal (physically), mum can generally go home quicker (section will need a stay on postnatal) and recovery is generally faster with less risk of infection etc if vaginal. Also easier for subsequent pregnancies/births. Of course that doesn’t mean they won’t do one where it’s deemed better for mum/baby and it absolutely can be the right decision for some. Electives can also be cancelled/postponed last minute, especially under current circumstances.