Breastfeeding for dummies

[dumpling123]

Hi all,

I'm currently expecting our first child and looking into breastfeeding. I've read info from NHS, some basic how to guides and forum posts. I know that there are lots of different ways to hold baby for breastfeeding and that I need to be patient, be sure baby latches on, watch for possible tongue tie and prepare for some pain. Antenatal classes are cancelled due to Covid-19. Am a bit worried about what I don't know if that makes sense!

Is it fair enough to say that breastfeeding is a skill which I can't really learn much more about until baby comes along? Is there anything you would recommend to help me prepare? Will it come naturally to myself and baby? Am I completely overthinking this?

Thanks in advance!

I've just started reading the Positive Breastfeeding Book and I'm finding it really helpful so far. I'd really recommend reading it.

You’re not overthinking and you’re preparing in exactly the right way! I couldn’t imagine what it would be like, I don’t think you can really, and while I’m sure for a lot of women it comes naturally and their babies crawl up and pop themselves on, its impossible to know what your own experience will be like and it can only help to have read up about latch, positions, help that’s available and what to expect like how often they’ll feed etc.

Look up latch tips and positions on YouTube. I found that hugely helpful, I found a video I liked and watched it several times while pregnant then came back to it after I’d had her when id forgotten it all. I ended up having a c section so tips on comfortable holds was invaluable. Also knowing if you have a CS it can take longer for your milk to come in which is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

When you read things about cluster feeding it’s impossible to imagine really feeding for so long or so often but when it happened it felt natural and gave me an excuse to cosy down for most of the day and gaze at her perfect face

I got DH to watch the videos as well and read up on breastfeeding and he’s been amazing. When she didn’t want to feed in one position he’d say how about rugby ball hold or whatever when I’d forgotten. He also became the king of winding her, brought me endless snacks and meals, filled up my water bottle and always had a clean muslin to hand. A supportive partner, if you have a partner, is such a help. I’m happily still feeding her nearly 13 months on and it’s been such a positive experience for all 3 of us.

You’ll read loads about how difficult breastfeeding can be and that’s useful in a way, yes you and your baby are both learning what to do, but I think the negativity puts people off as much as it let’s them know they’re not alone and help is available, and it’s been one of the happiest times of my life and a wonderful experience so plan positively and enjoy your pregnancy.

Yeah, it's good to read around it but you can't learn the skill until you've got a baby to latch onto you.

Try not to get frustrated. They often cry, a lot, and it's designed to really get to you. And you then feel guilty and like you mustn't be doing it right because they want to be on all the time and you worry they're not getting enough. And you're exhausted and it's often quite sore, especially if the latch wasn't initially right and damage was done. And let down stings like a bitch at first.

But it's worth it in the end. Took about 6 weeks for me to get the hang of it though.

My top tip is the Elvis lip. They'll tell you to put your finger in their mouth and lever them off to break the latch, but I found this is difficult and also you've got to have remembered to wash your hands prior to commencing feeding. Elvis lip is easier. Just use one finger to lift part of the upper lip up, like Elvis's signature expression. Breaks the seal. Google it.

Ooh, other top tip is lasinoh. And lots of it. And soft cup breastfeeding bras- the padded ones rubbed like you wouldn't believe initially.

BrooHaHa I have been feeding DD for 14 months and never knew that trick 🤦🏽‍♀️ been jamming my pinkie in past her teeth for ages now. You learn something new every day!

I wasn't prepared for how much it hurt at first. I swear the first 5 days of BFing with cracked nipples hurt more than the labour! But it got less and less painful and it's the best thing I've ever done so I'd just say to persevere through the pain as it's so worth it.

I second using lansinoh. It really, really helps with the pain of cracked nipples and makes initial latch on at each feed so much more bearable. I found I needed to use breast pads in my bra to prevent staining from the copious amounts of lansinoh I applied, rather than leaking milk!

LANSINOH God yes
Stilltee (breastfeeding tea - with fenugreek in)
Oat meal biccies and snacks
Support pillow/long pillow/bf pillow
Babymoon - just stay in bed with baby/baby in side cot/skin to skin for as long as you can

Your nipples have to toughen up essentially/become less sensitive - with cluster feeding it can hurt for a wee while irrespective of latch until your nipples have got used to it. That might be a few days or a couple of weeks: stick with it and lashings of nipple cream.
I bf three of mine to three years each - but I do remember struggling with DC2 and just reminding myself I'd get there - lots of fluids, drop your shoulders, persevere, try different positions. If it is clear that baby not thriving seek help for tongue-tie. Little and often, both sides but do not switch too quickly as baby needs to get hind milk too - it is richer and fills them up more. The more you feed, the more milk you make hence the babymoon idea.

Have a look now for online resources and make a note of them.
Our local breastfeeding network groups have online video support now.
Contact the La Leche League in your area - they’re amazing. Normally I’d say go to groups while pregnant, but currently just reach out and say hi to the leader. They often offer support by phone anyway.
It’s really good to be prepared, and it is a skill for you and baby to learn. I was naive and thought it’d be tricky but baby would know what to do! Not the case for me in the end, but the struggle at the start was worth it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Weleda-93117-Nursing-Teabags-20-Count/dp/B000V3PX58?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
These are what I had. Yes a bit pricey and not a prerequisite but like oats (hence the oatmeal cookies) fenugreek is supposedly a galactagogue (helps milk supply): All I know is that it worked for me when I felt like I was running dry/tired/stressed and supply seemed lower then I would have a cup of sweet nursing tea with an oatmeal cookie, chillax and put baby back on boob et voila. Could of course be a placebo effect but I liked having the teabags in the house.
(I also liked having emergency instant milk - the ready made bottles they use for topping up in hospital - whilst I did not end up mixed feeding and I would never suggest topping up in the first month as the whole point is your supply goes up the more you breastfeed, I nonetheless liked having a back up on the rare occasion I was chapped and healing).

Babies do root - even on their dads' chests - adorable. They will find the nipple - mine were co-sleeping (not for everybody) and learnt to latch on themselves (not recommending that but each to their own).
They will soon let you know if there is an issue - maybe something you ate made milk spicier (although I ate curries etc), maybe the milk has come down too fast, maybe they are frustrated as are sucking air/not getting enough. You just have to calm and carry on - if you have burped them but they are still bringing their legs up in discomfort, it might be colic. I think I used infacol - I am going back a few years now but a couple of drops helped. My mum probably used gripe water rather than simeticone.
Breastfeeding for me was well worth it as I was too lazy to want to be prepping bottles and I was primary caregiver so just found it really practical especially when babies were ill or teething too.
but I am aware that I was one of the lucky ones and it is luck that all three took to it without any issues. Do not feel bad if, like birth itself, your plans take a different direction. Healthy fed babies are just that.
With corona though I cannot help but think bf would be a boon.

Kellymom website. All you could ever need to know.

In normal times, I'd say find your local breastfeeding group.

It's lovely if it works but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't. Cribsheet by Emily Oster has good bit on benefits of breastfeeding - basically it's the best food for babies but only by a small amount, the difference is over-dramatised because women want to either justify the hard work or justify why they haven't bf.

And btw I've bf two babies, never had sore or cracked nipples so it doesn't happen to everyone!

You’re not overthinking or over-preparing. You’ve had some great advice and I wanted to share some info that really helped me understand why my experience (overwhelmingly positive) wasn’t the same as some friends who struggled.

Different feeding positions work for different size and shape breasts, and the flow of your milk and speed of the milk let-down varies. I read an amazing article that said there’s a massive range in how many milk ducts a woman has in each breast, anything from two to twenty, and this impacts feeding and feeding speed. With fewer milk ducts you may feed more often, it is NORMAL, albeit irritating when your friends are breezily saying their babies only feed every four or five hours and you’re still feeding every two hours of the day and night.

Things I learned were:

• hydrate, carry a bottle of water everywhere - have one ready for after labour - and drink LOADS.
• don’t combi feed (mix bottle and boob) at the start. Worst of both worlds. If you want a break at night or to get a bit of time for yourself, express. I never did, as my baby refused a bottle, nut it is a good idea to try.
• be patient at the start, breastfeeding is a full-time job and a very tricky one. You will probably cry and/or feel pain at some stage. That’s normal but if it lasts more than a few days get help. It could be a latching problem or the start of PND and there is so much expert help available
• don’t worry about a schedule (eg eats for x minutes at x o’clock), follow your baby’s cues. But do set a routine so you can guess more easily what your baby is likely to need whan they cry.
• The phrase, “surely he can’t be hungry AGAIN?” was said to me every single time I saw my mother in law, I think! See above, it is normal and likely it is not “just” comfort feeding (personally I don’t see much wrong in providing comfort to a baby, but I’m soft). Breastmilk does all sorts of things for a baby eg acts as a painkiller, and actually yes, sometimes the baby IS just hungry again. Don’t EVER apologise for feeding your baby when it is needed.
• get some good breastfeeding tops so you’re happy feeding in public. NCT sales and eBay Used clothes are good sources to try different styles.
• yes your baby might sometimes want to feed all day, it is a nightmare and takes over life some days. You might not have much time spare,so get a baby sling, they are amazing so you can do housework/make meals/go out etc with hands free. Plus it’s super cute when they fall asleep snuggled up to you.

I’m not going to say, this will be the most beautiful experience of your life, as it ain’t easy and for some mothers it simply isn’t. For me, it has been the most convenient, satisfying and healthy way to feed my babies.

But the best advice is always - a happy baby is a fed baby, regardless what method you use. Good luck on your incredible journey into motherhood xxx

Thank you all very much for your advice. Lots to motivate me!

Have a look at this: abm.me.uk/how-lactation-works/

Sleep on towels, and size 0 nappies work better a “night” breast pads until the leaks stop.

One of mine has a phenomenal let down, I can actually get a few feet of a spray if he pulls of too fast, the other side doesn’t seem to do much besides a few drips but on the pump they produce roughly the same so don’t panic about supply if you think one “works better” than the other.

We do mix but ebf fully now, expressed milk during the day and a free boob bar from 7pm on to 7.30am. Once ds1 goes to bed since I haven’t figured feeding in the sling and ds2 is a slow grazer on the boob.

I am a bfn peer supporter - there is NO evidence that anything you eat or drink (other than a prescribed medication) increases milk supply. In fact, women have reported a reduction after taking Fenugreek. The only thing that is known to increase supply is removing milk from the breast (direct feeding/pumping/hand expressing)

OP - if you ever need any support and face to face groups are still not running, the Breastfeeding Helpline is amazing.

Sorry wrong poster attached. This is the correct one.

The Positive Birth Company just did an online tutorial on breastfeeding. It's on youtube now. They are doing another live one tomorrow!

I have heard the hydrogel pads really help with initial pain x

Seconding pp who suggested Kellymom website. Really helped me with some of the struggles you have - clusterfeeding, comfort night feeding, when periods are likely to return etc.

Remember that you can feed in ANY position. I was kind of ready for different “holds” and was worried about doing it wrong. Sure, you can make it easier for them to latch by making sure you start off with your nipple near their nose rather than their mouth, as this means they’ll tip their head back and open wide (which avoids them clamping on the tip!!), but after a few weeks they get the hand of it and are really quite cooperative and can feed any way you can hold them comfortably. To get through those early weeks, get yourself a pile of cushions and get ready to settle in and watch some telly! Newborns take foreeeeeeever to feed!

My daughter refused to open her mouth properly, causing incredible pain for me, I learnt that even though it was ‘baby to breast not breast to baby’ that compressing my nipple and shoving it into her mouth forced her to take more boob in and that really really helped with the pain (and thank goodness for lansinoh!) so I technically did it wrong but it worked so much better for us I didn’t particularly care!

She also didn’t like me holding her during feeding, so I basically planked over her whilst she was propped on a nursing pillow for the first 2 months.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but we did it and it gradually got easier and she started doing it properly and it was much much better, we ended up feeding until she was 12 months old, I wanted to carry on but she self weaned!

Oh and she fed every hour for 30 minutes during the day and I’m not even kidding. I had a lot of ‘surely she can’t be hungry again’ and ‘are you sure you’re producing milk’ amongst other comments, but the beautiful part was that actually she slept 10pm-1am then 1.30am - 5.30am then 6am - 10am on a night from birth, she dropped the 1am feed at 5 weeks and dropped the 5.30am feed at 8 weeks, so at 8 weeks old she slept 10pm-10am. It was luxurious and I did not give a damn that she ate all day because I slept all night!

A lot of ladies really struggle but not everyone does. My baby just got on with it and carried on for 10.5 months without any issues. I confess to not reading up on anything about it beforehand and decided just to see and he was a champ. It isn't always as hard as it's made out x

Came to share the video @IslayBrigid has shared. Really helpful, do give it a watch.