FTM - worrying about labour - any positive stories?

[Emmaaa1990]

Hi everyone

I'm due in just over 4 weeks and I have started to feel really anxious and scared! I'm not sure if this current pandemic and not being able to socialise with family & friends is contributing to my feelings. I wondered if people could share their experiences of labour? Positive ones preferably feel like we all need to be positive atm! Thankyou in advance :) x

It wasn't the labour I expected but I'd rather do that 100 times over than the first few months!!!! You will just go with the flow, your body does some amazing stuff and you'll get through it .
There was at no stage that I thought I couldn't keep going x

I had a good first half of my labour: got to 5cm at home, then to fully dilated in the birthing pool with gas and air. Unfortunately it all went wrong after that: baby was direct OP so ended up with forceps, PPH, episiotomy and 3rd degree tear. But you know what? Even though it was pretty much my worst case scenario (other than CS) it was still a positive experience and I came away feeling really proud. The stitches were pretty painful for a week or so but everything healed fine and I haven’t had any problems with incontinence or anything like that. If I had to do it again I wouldn’t change a thing.

On paper my labour doesn't sound great: induction, slow progression, baby got stuck, ended up with epidural/forceps. Basically nothing on my plan! However, it was a really positive experience. I found a way instinctively (no practice !) To breathe through the contractions, I felt extremely well supported by the midwives and doctors, I was kept informed and given choices, my pain was well managed with breathing and then diamorphine. By the time it got to the theatre delivery I couldn't have cared less, I was just ready to have him! Labour is hard, it is painful but it is also empowering, beautiful and you are supported by skilled compassionate people. I still feel really proud and positive when I think back to my labour and birth. I was very scared, I'd say I have a low pain threshold, but actually it was amazing. Try not to focus on the birth and your fears, think about visualising holding your baby once they're here. I focused on it so much and in the grand scheme of things it is only a tiny part of my story as a mother now. You will be ok, I'm proof that even if it doesn't go to plan you can still have a great labour and birth. Remember you can have as much pain relief as you need, and you will get to finally meet your beautiful baby! X

Mine was positive. 16 hours which might sound scary but I spent the first 4 hours wondering if it was the real deal or not because it was so manageable- so really only 12 hours of knowing the baby was definitely on his way.

75% of my labour was spent at home & only 25% at hospital where I ended up in a lovely birthing pool on labour ward. Yes the contractions really hurt & yes it was exhausting and hard work but I had no ring of fire due to being in the water. I only had to push for 26 mins. Only had a bit of gas and air towards the end.

My favourite bit was holding my baby for the first time, it was the defining and most wonderful moment of my entire life.

Chatted to the student midwife as I was being stitched up. They numb you completely so I was chatting and laughing away as it happened.

Please don't be scared. It's not too late to check out the positive birth company's digital pack, it really helped me.

A C Section is not always the worst case scenario @Darkstar4855 it saved mine and my baby’s lives. I’m proud of my 56 hour sh** show birth though I get the feeling many people think a C Section is failing at it. It’s not at all OP and might happen. Don’t beat yourself up if it does. I had a birth plan too. You have to be strong but also be flexible and go with the flow. Things might not go to your plan or expectations and you should know that, but it’s not a reason for worry. Just be present and know you’re in the best place. Speak up if you feel something isn’t right and try to relax. Take care and wishing you all the best x

At 41 weeks, I woke up and felt quite grumpy on the morning of my first DC’s birth! I was just uncomfortable and irritated

I had to go to help my friend tend to my horse (!) which involved walking around fields a lot. After about an hour, the strange cramps had got really quite strong so I called my husband and said it ‘might’ be labour. We were so excited!

We went home and I had a shower. We’d done an amazing Hypnobirthing course where the teacher had told us how exciting early labour is, and she’d encouraged us to take a moment if we could, to appreciate it all and feel grateful and full of love. I REALLY recommend this if you possibly can do it - the moment is so weird, but also so special! We even had a mini bottle of champagne saved for that moment and I managed a sip ( no I hadn’t drunk at all throughout my pregnancy!)

Things really kicked off soon after that, and I was shocked at the pain. My whole body shook from the contractions. We called the midwife and they agreed I could come in to the birthing centre.

The car journey was not so fun but I was very focused on my breathing and had an eye mask to block out the world. I just wanted to let my body do it’s job and I let my husband handle everything else.

At the birthing centre they examined me and I was 4cms - I felt a little bit of disappointment because it sounded like I had a long way to go yet. But they agreed I could get in the pool.

Keeping my eyes shut the whole time, my husband played our pre-agreed relaxing music track on repeat on my iPhone, it helped block out any other sounds. I got into the water and my body just did it’s thing! I was fixated on not starting to push too soon as I didn’t want to tear. I had gas and air and breathed and breathed and breathed

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, it’s phenomenally painful, but it’s good, productive pain, and my body just knew what to do! It’s truly incredible. After a couple of hours my DC was born, just 6 hours after my first twinges!

I highly recommend hypnobirthing for you and your birth partner, so you’re both on the same page. It worked great for us

Childbirth is such a privilege, and you just have to trust your body to do what it does, it’s the best way. Of course things can change on the day, and all methods of having a baby are brilliant - assisted, epidural, c-section; all amazing, all valid and special. Stay as relaxed and grateful as you can, and you will do the best for your baby. Good luck, it’s glorious x

Ah it's so lovely to hear your birth stories!
I really like reading other peoples experiences think it helps me to prepare for what's going to happen. I think it's fear of the unknown isn't it!

It's a scary thought because you just don't know how long it's going got take, pain, complications. I just need to remain positive & yes keep thinking about the end goal and finally cuddling my baby. I appreciate everyone's replies so far it's really helping me :) x

@littlejalapeno I don’t think it’s a fail at all, it just would have been the worst case scenario for me because I had a particular fear of it for various reasons and a late second stage CS for failed forceps is about as high risk as it gets!

@geedticker - oh wow sounds intense but amazing! I did a couple of hypnonirthing classes but then they got postponed due to the virus so feel I didn't get much time!

I definitely want a water birth I feel like they are definitely the way forward, fingers crossed I can have one and everything is okay.

I think I will just to focus on breathing some people have told me you forget to breathe at times haha I must try and remember!

Thankyou :)

@Emmaaa1990

You are so welcome :)

This is a lovely real birth video to watch - it really helped me think positive before my DC was born:

@gerdticker wowww that was amazing! She was so calm the whole way through! That was crazy I mean that's the ideal isn't it!

I have had two babies, both what they call a "normal" birth with labour lasting about 4 hours each time. I found the tens machine to be useful at least as a distraction. First time I had gas and air - although I think I could have coped without - but again it was more of a distraction/something to focus on. Second time I didnt use gas and air. Second degree tests both times which healed nice and quickly.

I would recommend

• having your home set up as a cosy space so you can start labour at home
• try upright positions. My second baby was born as I was standing upright and I found it much easier than first where I was lying on the bed
• try reading the "Positive Birth Book"

@rhymingrabbit3 how lovely sounds like you had 2 nice labours and 4 hours that's not bad in length either! I've heard about tens machines not sure if I could grab one in time I may look into one tho!

I think I'd prefer to stay at home as long as I could I have a ball that could help so I think you're right sounds like it's more relaxing being in your own home as much as you can!

I will definitely have a look at that book thankyou :)

Ask your midwife about tens machine, sometimes you can hire them from the hospital

Off the back of the comment about csection being worse case I'd like to attest it isn't. My labour started with my waters going at 5.30am straight off with contractions. I went out for breakfast, we went to Costa, went to Asda to get food in for us and the midwives, went home, cleaned the entire house, rearranged the living room, made up sandwiches and bounced on the ball eating pizza but my contractions were irregular and every time they became regular and I moved they dropped back off again. 26 hours later we went to hospital because there was suspected merconium and it had been 24+ hours. When we got there they discovered baby was breech and I was told it would be a C-section. Was taken straight down 2.30ish, anaesthetist was an absolute angel. Baby born 2.54, back on ward after being sticked up and spent some.time.in recovery by 5pm latest, up on my feet at 8pm andd discharged next day at 6pm. Was down the shops by day

Just make sure you haven't got your heart set on your birth plan. We had a plan A, B and C(section). I know some women seriously beat themselves up because they feel like they've failed somehow but that's not at all true. Whatever way baby comes our your body has been through the biggest marathon it ever will be, you should be proud of it, whatever way it goes.

Good luck

DD1, 36 hours of on / off contractions at home, lots of baths and paracetamol. Got to hospital 7cms, gas and air, born 6 hours later.

DD2, contractions / waters to birth 3 hours, mostly labour on own as we had DD1 with us thinking DH could drop me at hosp, drop her to nursery then cone back. MW said if he left, he’d miss the birth so he spent an hour calling everybody to come get her and was only with me the last 3/4 hour. Gas and air in pool. I barely noticed, so don’t be too scared of being on your own if you have to be. I go into my own world just asking for water.

Good luck!!!

Oh OP, don't let it freak you out unnecessarily. I have always considered labour to be this utterly inevitable thing, that will happen regardless, so there's no point wasting sleep over it. I know it's easier said than done, but this mindset did help me in both pregnancies. Don't get me wrong, I prepared for it as much as I could, did research and thought about my personal preferences, but then I tried not to dwell on it anymore.

I have had two positive births, both using hypnobirthing techniques and a TENS machine. The second I also had a water birth.

My first was not the birth I would have wanted, in an idea world, but I was always prepared to go with the flow, and it was still a positive experience over all. I was induced due to PROM and failure for labour to progress. They stuck me on the drip and 4.5 hours later my baby was in my arms. I didn't want the drip, but coped OK with it. The worst bit was having cannulas in each hand (one for induction and one for antibiotics) and the continuous monitoring, as it meant I couldn't move around. Luckily had a good midwife and she let me sit on my birthing ball throughout, which I found gave me a freedom to move/rock/bounce that was really beneficial. Hypnobirthing breathing techniques and the TENS machine worked really well. Although I did totally freak out during transition and insist I wanted an epidural, but by that point I also wanted to push so it didn't happen. Pushing was difficult, although the pain of the contractions is much lessened during the pushing phase. But I pushed for 1.5hrs before they gave me an episiotomy and then baby came out very easily. Avoided forceps thankfully. I was knackered after all the effort, and the relief of having baby there was just amazing! Stitches afterwards were worse than anything that came before, but again all worth it.

My second birth was a textbook birth, literally everything I wanted. Waters broke, contractions started immediately, stayed at home as long as possible and gave birth at my local tiny birth center, in the pool. I think labour was about 6.5 hours in total. Baby born in the pool with just a few pushes (such a contrast to struggling with pushing first time). Small tear (stitches still not nice!) and I felt almost completely normal afterwards and was home less than 12hrs after waters broke, stopping off at a supermarket on the way home to pick up a sandwich. Surreal and wonderful in equal measure!

I had a really positive birth. I'm also a FTM and we had been planning a home birth, but due to Covid 19 we heard at my 41 week appointment that the service had been suspended. They offered to have us at the MLU instead but they had also stopped offering water births, which was going to be my main form of pain relief. I was really upset, but part of our birth prep had always been that you can't 'plan' your birth and we needed to be flexible. This is really important to a positive experience in my view.

Within an hour or so of getting back home after my appointment, I started feeling period cramps that came and went. I'd been having this feeling very sporadically for a few days and typically didn't think much of it, but something felt a bit different. I was expecting a slow labour which lasts for days, but within an hour I was sure I needed to go to hospital as surges were 3 min apart and getting longer and stronger. Getting from the car park to the ward was the worst bit! When I got there I was examined and was fully dilated, which amazed me. Got to a room and fell onto the bean bag, didn't get up again until I birthed her. The surges were really intense, I preferred pushing as it felt like progress. She was born within 4 hrs of surges coming on, I had no pain relief apart from a TENS machine and had only a small tear which didn't need stitches. I was very lucky with my positive birth, and I think hypnobirthing really helped. Although my breathing went a bit out the window during the down stage (during which I vomited through everything surge!) I still kept calm and was aware of what was happening with my body and always aware that my body was completely capable and knew what it was doing. Best of luck!

@FirstTimeBumps oh wow I love the fact you went about your business whilst having contractions that made me laugh!

You always hear that the recovery after a C section is worse and long don't you but I know everyone is different! Sounds like you had a relatively straight forward experience & was able to be back to normal ish quickly! That's so amazing!

The only thing I really want is a water birth and I think I would be open to any pain relief if I needed it. I know that could even go tits up but that's what I would like!

Thankyou for sharing :) x

@Rodent01 36 hours of on and off wow you soldier! You did so well with limited pain relief!

I've heard your second baby is usually quicker that's a lovely labour! Yeah proper go into the zone I guess! Thankyou for sharing :) x

I was induced at 37+4 due to small growth of baby. I had 2 pessarys inserted 6 hours apart which didn't give me anything more than minor back pain or which I took 2 paracetamol. At 9.30pm they broke my waters and I was 3cm, my daughter was born at 11.50pm after a wild 2 hours. Although it was extremely intense I'd certainly rather than over a 3 day labour lol.

@Marahute I've heard Tens machines are good I definitely think I need to look into one of those! I'm trying not to freak out, I think it's fear of the unknown you just don't know when it's gonna happens, how long, how painful etc. Hearing other people's stories really helps though so I appreciate it :)

Gosh yeah the transition period sounds like it's the worst part when baby is moving down the birth canal I can't even imagine the pain right now 😕 I know it will be worth it though!

It's funny how people's second experiences seem to be more calm and quick I guess it's because you know what to expect and so does your body! Haha getting a sandwich that's funny, weird how you've just gone through all that then back to normality.
Thankyou for sharing :) x

@WhiteDenim confratulations! When did you have baby?

Oh no really stopping water births? But you are totally right you've got to expect the unexpected I suppose ay!

That's amazing how quickly that happened for you, quite rare for first time babies isn't it. I really hope mine doesn't drag on and on yours sounded ideal haha!

Yeah I can imagine breathing goes abit awol when you are in that much pain, ahh so happy for you that's a lovely story Thankyou for sharing :) x

@20viona did you find paracetamol helped you okay? Wow 2 hours that's mental! It's seems to really vary with inductions doesn't it some people take days to birth with induction that's what worries me! Hoping I don't need an induction but your story gives me hope that they aren't all bad!

Thankyou for sharing :) x

@Emmaaa1990 no I didn’t think they did anything I just took them because they were offered 🤣. Only have time for gas and air but I would of killed for something else at the time.