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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Struggling to get over the birth post natal depression?

6 replies

Kattyb01 · 03/04/2020 21:54

Please do not read this if you're pregnant and worried about giving birth!

So.. I was told I'd have to be induced early (38 weeks) due to health problems. I immediately knew I wanted an elcs as I really felt strongly that being induced early wouldn't work as the baby wouldn't be ready to come and then I'd end up in an emcs anyways. Anyways.. every midwife kept passing it off saying I'd have to speak to the consultant which basically meant I was discussing this in my 37th week. I spoke to a birth consultant person and she convinced me to try the induction.. so I did.

Went in and everything went well. Waters broke naturally and went on the syntocin. Then the midwife miscalculated my dilation and said I was 8cm when I was only 4cm and had been for most of the day.. this meant I hadn't progressed in a long time. My daughter's heart rate accelerated so I ended up having an emcs.

My baby got stuck. They took ages getting her out and when they finally did she wasn't breathing and it took ages to get her started. I started heamorrhging blood (according to my OH it was sloshing all over the floor) and i could literally hear the surgeon panicking. Finally after 5mins they finally got my daughter breathing.

Then they said they had to take pictures of her due to the bruising.. apparently they'd struggled so much to get her out that she was bruised and omg... when I saw her... she was covered in dark, black bruises. It was awful. They wanted to keep her in the neonatal unit to check on her.

Overnight she started having seizures so they did a CT scan which showed a fractured skull and internal brain haemorrhage. Additionally she'd suffered a stroke. We were going to be transferred to st Georges for an op to relieve the pressure when the anti seizure meds kicked in and this meant the pressure was reducing.

My daughter was in hospital for 8 days before being allowed to come home with us. For me, the way that they had to tug and pull at her meant my recovery was HELL. It hurt too much to even hold her so I couldn't breast feed which was heart breaking.

Anyways, she's almost 4 months old now and developing well. And I am so so grateful but I just can't seem to stop thinking about what happened. To everyone else, When they look at her she looks like a normal, healthy baby and when they hear she was only in hospital for 8 days.. it just doesn't seem to quantify the absolute terror and pain that my OH and I went through. I feel like we went through this massive trauma and nobody sees it.

Is this pnd?
Do I just need to man up and stop dwelling on what happened or what might have happened?

This is my 1st and to make matters even worse, according to the doctors I can't conceive again for at least 2 years and need to be very careful. I feel angry at myself for not sticking to my guns and having the elective. If I had.. none of this would have happened.
Thanks x

OP posts:
SmileyCloud · 03/04/2020 22:01

You had a traumatic experience and your feelings are completely valid, it sounds more like you have Post traumatic stress disorder rather than PND which is hardly surprising after all you went through. I would suggest contacting your hospital as some trusts provide birth counselling where a midwife will sit and go through your delivery notes and answer any questions you may have and in turn may highlight things you weren’t aware of on the day due to so much happening. You want to enjoy your baby and many women suffer in silence for years, get some help and do not punish yourself for things way out your controlSmile

Kattyb01 · 03/04/2020 22:06

Thank you for replying. I had my birth reflections a couple of weeks ago but it was only about me rather than discussing what they did to my daughter.

I did find out why I was in so much pain (and still am at times).

The hospital are reviewing my care too buy due to covid19 It's not a priority right now!

OP posts:
Hedgehog26 · 03/04/2020 22:09

It’s totally valid how you feel but try not to blame yourself. Something could of gone wrong if you’d had an elective too. I had an emergency c section and found myself and my partner thought talking through what happened and heard it from each other’s point of view helped. It might be helpful to do that with a therapist there.

I think it’s valid to tell like no one sees it because people just see that you have a healthy baby at the end. If the same thing had happened in someone with a medical problem rather than a pregnancy then reaction would be different

SmileyCloud · 03/04/2020 22:20

Obviously with all that’s going on it’s very hard to access services currently, but I would push for counselling maybe through your GP or privately if that’s an option for you. do you have a follow up with the paediatric team who could maybe answer some of your questions regarding your daughter?

Jem9153 · 04/04/2020 08:52

I’m so sorry you went through that it sounds awful, I can only imagine how you must feel Flowers

I know it is slightly different as I have not had my baby yet, but I suffered with depression when I was younger and asking for help was the best thing I did! You don’t need to man up, your experience and feelings are totally valid and I think most people would react in the same way after such a traumatic event.

Hope you feel better soon 💕

diggerface · 07/01/2023 19:31

Hi @Kattyb01 appreciate this is an old post but my daughter (4 ) suffered a stroke at birth too. I just wondered how yours is doing? I understand the trauma 100%. Really hope things have improved for you over the last few years ❤️

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