What are your tips for managing labour and birth?

[wondering7777]

I’m due to give birth soon and know very little about what to expect. I was planning to read loads of websites and books in the run-up, but life has been so busy and stressful that I haven’t had a chance. My antenatal classes have also been cancelled due to the virus.

I was wondering if anyone could share any insights or advice on how to deal mentally and physically with the pain of contractions and labour, and also how to stay calm and in control. Did you use any particular techniques to get you through?

One thing I do recall reading is to see a contraction as akin to climbing a hill, then coming down the other side. Anything like that you can share would be really good to know!

For me, contractions were like a wave. They build up, and recede. Breathing your way through them is the most helpful (and old school) tip I can give. There are lots of videos and apps that can teach you.
Also, and I know this may sound a bit bonkers, I found thinking of the pain as positive (my baby is coming) rather than negative helped a lot. I trusted that the pain was necessary but ultimately relatively short lived. Full disclosure, with my first child I had an epidural as labour was very long, my second one was (as for most) easier. However, both births were positive experiences. Because I fortunately had no complications, and I'm sure partially because I went in with a very positive attitude.
You can do this! Believe in yourself and your body. And, of course, accept medical intervention should it become necessary.
Good luck!

That's really helpful, thanks @forkfun - especially this bit:

I trusted that the pain was necessary but ultimately relatively short lived.

When you're panting, you can't push. So if you're told to stop pushing, start panting.

Stress balls helped me, as did moving. I couldn't use a birthing ball because my dd was back to back so I just shuffled up and down the ward as often as possible.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind. My midwife didn't want to check how dilated I was for fear of infection after my waters had broken, it took me, my mum and my husband to persuade her and we found it was time to move to delivery!

Have a look at hypnobirthing. It is not the type of thing I usually go in for but it really helped.

It's basically self hypnosis techniques to keep you calm. It was amazing. The more tense and nervous you are, the more it hurts!

Plus - labour isn't always a straight line and can start and stop.

Prepare for it to be a long process (it might not be). Early labour can last days and contractions can stop and start. Keep as active as possible. I walked around a lot and used a birthing ball. Hypnobirthing is worth a try. And I had a tens machine. All really useful for early labour. Similar to what PP have said but I found reframing the contractions in a positive way helped, so I kept thinking that each contraction brought me closer to my baby. Dont rule anything out in regards to pain relief and interventions. Speak to the medical staff and have a good chat with your birth partner so they can advocate for you if you aren't able to communicate what you want/need.

My advice would be to go with the flow. When I was in labour I just did what I needed to do at each point. Sometimes I needed to walk round, other points I really needed to lie down. Gas and air was brilliant, I found it didn't take away the pain but it gave me something to focus on and taught me to take nice deep breaths which calmed me down. Try not to waste your energy screaming as you can focus better when you are in controll and breathing deeply. The contractions do really hurt but as PP said they are positive pains and the end result is worth every second! Good luck! You'll smash it!

I would say have in your mind that your baby is going to come after your due date so if your due date comes as goes you won’t feel disappointed, then if your baby comes early bonus! Early labour can last days and as long as you’re coping then stay at home as long as possible, get in the bath, bounce on a ball, distract yourself and don’t get too caught up on counting and monitoring contractions, you’ll know when it’s time! I would say having a brief idea of what could happen In labour and your pain relief options is a good idea as once your in the moment, no information anyone gives you will go in and also the things you thought you might want like a water birth for example you may actually get in the pool and hate it, an open mind is the best way I’d say! And lastly for me I didn’t have a “birth plan” as such, I knew I would go in, that it would be painful and that I’d leave with a baby! I had a relatively long and slow labour- which actually wasn’t half an painful as I’d built up in my head, 10 days overdue which ended in an emergency section and it was the most positive and empowering moment in my life!

Oh and what the above poster put, gas and air is totally underrated! I bloody loved the stuff, it just takes the edge off but allows you to stay in control and focus!

I would really recommend a tens machine for early labour if you can still get your hands on those at the minute. Focus on breathing. What I kept telling myself was "this is just one day of your life and then it's over and the baby will be here". Best of luck.

This is extremely helpful, thanks everyone!

Big gas and air fan here too :) Birth ball, gas and air and a playlist of your favorite club tracks to take you to a completely different head space. Delivered a couple of mine to disco hour on the radio and it was crazy! Good luck, trust your midwifes x

I had 2 home births with my girls so I only had gas and air.

The gas and air really helps so use it!

Also at the time your body really does just take over instinctively and you kind of just zone into what you're doing and are in a kind of bubble.

You'll do great OP and it will be over and a distant memory before you know it.

As soon as your labour starts take 2 paracetamol. We all think it won't do anything but the early part of labour, I did this and it made it so much more bearable.

Things to say to yourself in labour. (I did 34 hours of back to back labour with just paracetamol and gas and air)

• it won't last forever
• one contraction closer
• you are stronger than your contraction
• you are in control

Breathing is amazing too. It is like a wave.

I have ZERO pain threshold normally but feel like a beast now I coped with my labour.

allows you to stay in control and focus

Speak for yourself, gas and air just made me talk absolute shit 😂 I was aware, and thought I should stop talking, but couldn't. But I'm sure all the midwives enjoyed hearing about my DH's prostate exam.

Have a few different tools at your disposal OP. Pick a few different techniques and practice them, so they're there for you in early labour. You don't know which ones are going to work for you so best to have a few to try :)

I didn't cope very well in my first labour, although hitting things with a stress ball did make me feel slightly better. Second time round I tried to be a little more prepared. Used a tens machine (which was a godsend!), rolled/bounced on a birthing ball, listened to music, breathing techniques. The aim is basically to keep your body relaxed during contractions, as tensing up will make it more painful. I found ' golden thread' breathing quite helpful - basically breathe out very slowly and controlled imaging a golden thread coming out from your lips - it really helped to be focused on the space just in front of my lips rather than inside my body if that makes sense.

Also remember that everyone's experience is different. Some women find the pain totally manageable and don't need any pain relief, some women find it extremely painful and need strong pain relief. Go with the flow, use whatever pain relief you need, there are no prizes for doing it without pain relief. And the less pain you're in the more in control you'll be.

Last point and then I'll shut up, but use/request pain relief as soon as you need it, and that goes for everything from paracetamol to an epidural. Don't save it for later when the pain is worse or anything like that, best to keep yourself as pain-free as possible early on so you don't end up exhausted.

All labours are different so not everything will work for everyone.
Stay at home as long as possible, sleep/rest through early labour if possible, breathing really does help, you'll forget to breath properly when you're in pain. Your partner HAS to remind you.
Walk around if you can when things ramp up a bit, it will help get baby into a good position and may speed things up for you a bit.
Take pain relief if you need it, don't try to be a hero. There's no medal for it.

@spam88 Oh I definitely talked a lot of shit, I had a baby during the festive period and throughly enjoyed giving my best entonox fuelled version of away in a manager for all to enjoy! Personally I found that once it wore off, between contraction I was back in the room.. temporarily!

Loads of good stuff above.

Gas n air doesn’t work for me it just made me feel like i had a head buzz from smoking a cheap fag years ago. If it doesn’t work and you need something else tell them to they listen and have whoever else is there do the same.

The other thing that helped me was watching the monitor the toco number goes up with a contraction and tapers down, so even before I felt it start to go away seeing it go down on the screen helped keep me calm.

And don’t be afraid to ask silly questions or for help with anything.. if you want to move about do it.

I liked the Freya app for contractions - it's a couple of quid and works as both a timer and talks you through breathing during them.

Tips - do not go to hospital until you really need to. Going to hospital early doesn't make it feel better or make the baby come sooner!

Labour is to some degree out of your hands. You can only prep so much. It's a bit like saying how do you prepare to do a poo. Your body takes over, try to relax and let nature take its course.

As soon as it's over, you'll have a baby to look after. Instead of focusing on labour too much, spend time learning about baby care (feeding, how often to change, what you put them to bed in, safe sleep and co sleep, bathing etc). It's easier to learn about this now than once the baby is here. If you plan to breastfeed, it can be tricky - learn about latch, positioning and where you would look for help if you have problems.

Pack a contingency bag as well as a hospital bag -with snacks, clothes etc in case you need to stay in for longer than expected. I was in for a week after DC1 and would have loved some better food, home comforts, etc. Hospital is boiling so summer nighties not winter PJs! If you don't stay in hospital then you can just live out of it at home!

I was in early labour with ds for 4.5 days, followed by 12 hours of active labour. Contractions ranging from every 5 minutes, to an hour apart for nearly 5 days and nights. My advice is sleep as much as you can. You might not feel hungry but keep drinking water, and make sure you are emptying your bladder frequently. Things that worked for me were warm baths, paracetamol, sitting facing the back of a dining chair, with a pillow between me and the back of the chair (I even slept like that!). And watching a timer during contractions, or counting. I knew it wouldn't last longer than about a minute each time so once each contraction got to 30 seconds I knew it was almost over. Breathing, and remembering not to tense as much as possible. The tens machine did nothing for me. Pethedine was amazing, but it did knock me out. I had a fantastic epidural in the end with my first and it was the best decision.

My other advice is be flexible and open to what might happen, dont be too wedded to your birth plan. With my second I foolishly assumed I would have a similar labour, long drawn out and exhausting, and planned to have an epidural again. In reality I had about 3 hours of active labour and delivered on gas and air alone, no time for an epidural. It took me a moment to get my head around the fact I wasnt getting an epidural and it very nearly sent me into a panic. Gas and air is fab, though, it doesn't remove the pain, it just stops you caring about it, and once you stop breathing it in, you come back to normal very quickly.

Finally the thing that helped most of all, other than amazing midwives both times, was DH. He was calm, supportive, encouraging, and protective of me when I needed it. He managed all the messages from family, kept everything else going in the house while I laboured, and was just amazing. So my other advice is choose your birthing partner carefully, and make sure they know what your wishes are.

Thank you - this is such fantastic advice! These are going to be my mantra I think:

• it won't last forever
• one contraction closer
• you are stronger than your contraction
• you are in control

And watching a timer during contractions, or counting. I knew it wouldn't last longer than about a minute each time so once each contraction got to 30 seconds I knew it was almost over.

This is really calming, thank you. Do contractions always last about a minute then (but with the gap between each one getting smaller as time goes on?)

Strange one but my go to during labour has always been watching a comedian on the tv. Lee Evans Jeff Dunham etc laughing releases endorphins which made my contractions more bearable

Lot's of great advice on here already so just adding another vote for going with the flow and deep breathing (I did hypnobirthing but wasn't a fan, but simple breathing techniques really helped). I also loved the gas and air, I think it's great to help with the breathing too as you need to take deep sucks on it. I found it helpful to relax my shoulders when I noticed I was tensing up aswell, you can get birth partner to help keep an eye on this.
I think by not reading lots you've actually done yourself a favour! Good luck when the time comes xx

Thank you! I'm going to print out this thread - everyone's tips have been so useful.

Have a look at Spinning Babies website for gentle stretches that help get baby in optimal position for an easier labour.

Water immersion in a birthing pool is wonderful pain relief if available to you. Otherwise bath or shower.

Contractions can be all over the place in length and duration. Not necessarily closer and closer together each time. And they don't necessarily start very far apart and gentle like I was told. Mine were never more than 10 mins apart and super painful from the first crunch.