Hello all,
Firstly I know this is a sensitive subject for many reasons and I really do take that into account when asking for advice.
I am 38, and 8 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy was not planned - my husband and I already have 2 DC aged 7 and 3, our second DC took 3 years in the making and was a result of fertility treatment as we could not conceive naturally, hence why this 3rd pregnancy is a complete shock.
I am so totally and utterly torn over what to do, so much so that time is ticking on and increasing my panic more so. The fact is that we'd originally always wanted DC3, however the 2nd pregnancy was awful from start to finish, followed by a complicated birth which scared the life out of both my DH and I and I think we just decided we would be very happy and grateful for the DC that we do have and not have any further DC.
To find out I am pregnant was just such a mixed bag of emotions. We are over the baby phase with our youngest, we both work full time and have a lovely life. We are so worried about adding DC3 into this both for both my own physical and mental health reasons, as well as the general impact on extending the family by 1.
What is really not helping is now being on lockdown. I feel totally trapped not being able to leave the house, home schooling whilst trying to work full time, 'morning' sickness kicks in every day at 3pm and I just sink into a depression where I can't cook for our DC, can't engage like I'd want to, just feel totally and utterly rotten until I go to bed. However I then wake up the next morning feeling fine until the sickness kicks in again.
DH and I have discussed things extensively and never come to any resolution, instead days drift past and nothing changes. We are on the same page and support each other wholeheartedly - although he is more concerned about my health during pregnancy and labour whereas I am more concerned about the longer term of having DC3 in general. Tomorrow I have my first midwife appointment in the morning, and I also have a telephone appointment with a Marie Stopes clinic in the afternoon. It's like I'm on 2 paths and don't know which way I am heading.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer any advice please? I know this is a very emotive topic and I really do not mean to offend anyone. Having spent 3 years going through fertility treatment, I absolutely understand how lucky we are to have conceived naturally this time and that is also in my thoughts constantly.
Thank you all for any replies.