Pregnant at 18

[Blue7383]

Hey,
So I'm 18 and pregnant I'm really scared. I'm 4 months so can feel the weight a bit more and so uncomfortable all the time. So the actual pregnancy is really hard for me. But I'm scared when I have the baby as well as I'm young. And the coronavirus is stressing me out a lot which can't be good for the baby 😭

Thanks for reading will appreciate any advice

Make a list of every tiny thing that is worrying you and let's start from there. Sometimes getting it down on paper can help, and sometimes it's easy to give in to the panic when thinking things through practically, point by point, can really help. From a physical point of view, being young is friggin great advantage! But of course, there may be more practical and emotional challenges. The script is yours to write though - my best friend from school had her first at 19 and is now a successful paediatric nurse, home-owning, married and with another four kids (!). She worked hard and had support, but she did it (and with a few more obstacles thrown her way). I don't want to sound too overly cheerleady, but you got this. You just need to work a few things out. It sucks that the pregnancy is no fun, I'm sorry to hear that. As for the virus fears... yeah. Weird times. My best advice is to do as much as you can to keep to yourself and breastfeed when the baby arrives. I absolutely hate breastfeeding, but it does a top job of protecting the baby.

So, give me a list and let's crack through it!

Aww thank you! That's really great about your friend sounds like she's done really well. I'm actually doing health and social care course so I might end up doing something like her. That's true apparently the older you are the more risks. Well my boyfriend is great and always here so I don't have to worry about that. But it's like the discomfort and I'm not that big so I think it's only going to get harder.
I worry about miscarriage because even though I'm young I still want to keep the baby.
I'm so scared about the birth and if I'll be a good mum.
I'm just scared to be honest about the rest of the pregnancy and then actually having the baby and I hope I can look after the baby well.

Thank you so much for messaging means so much!

Ok, let's do this!

The discomfort can be really crazy, so make sure you can at least sleep. I'm using four-five pillows at the moment which I move around as I change position in the night. They really help, but you can also get fancypants pregnancy pillows which are supposed to be amazing. There are a few threads on here with details. Other than that, yoga really helped with my first pregnancy and there's a thread that has info about online videos/ classes. Swimming is also great, but, erm, we probably won't get to do that for a while

As for miscarriage, congratulations! You're four months, and the chance of miscarriage is now tiddly! Check this out: datayze.com/miscarriage-chart

The birth is huge, but it is entirely manageable. Epidurals are the most spectacular things, if you decide you've had enough, but many people absolutely love gas and air. It made me throw up, so I abandoned it, but it was very effective. Some people swear by hypnobirthing and don't need anything at all! I imagine that your hospital aren't doing tours at the moment, but they might have a virtual one. Have a look, familiarise yourself with the the place, the sort of room you'll be in etc. It's surprisingly calming on the day to know exactly where the loo is :D Oh, and make sure your boyfriend knows where to get snacks!

As for looking after the baby, this is really, really simple, while also being really f*ing difficult. All you have to do is keep them at the right temperature, keep them fed, clean and give lots and lots of cuddles. It's simple and straightforward but the sleep deprivation and constant worry that you're not doing it right can be really, really tough. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help in those early days from the visiting midwives or health visitors. It's such a weird (and wonderful) time and it is their job to support you. There is no such thing as a stupid question. Having said that, within a day or so of the birth, there is no medical expert in the world that will know more about your baby than you. You're going to know every inch of that kid and be able to make the best decisions for him/her (sleep deprivation allowing!).

How are you doing?

Thank youuu! Ah that's really good about miscarriage being unlikely I don't think I could go through that. Thank you for replying, everything you've said is really helpful and kind.
I think I'll be relieved though when the baby comes tho. You have made me feel more calm after reading that.
I'm okayy trying to not worry too much just hurts everywhere. Sometimes I can't sleep well at all but the pillows you mentioned do sound good!

Do you ever get a lot of cravings because I do all the time aha which is a pain but I just send bf out to get food.
I really appreciate your support! I hope your pregnancy is going well.
I keep getting overwhelmed by it and it's not like some things that u can ignore because you can't ignore your pregnant but at the same time I am happy.
Do you think it will all be okay?

I don't have cravings so much as a compulsion to eat EVERYTHING. My pregnancy is going well, I think, apart from a low papp-A result. Should be fiiiine...

When I get overwhelmed I turn to my lists. Going through each worry and working out what I can do to minimise risk/ stress really helps, even more than trying to ignore it!

In terms of being a fantastic Mum, yes, I think you'll be ok. Have you had a look at any pregnancy books btw? I like 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' and the Mumsnet guide, but there are lots of books with plenty of info.

In terms of the birth, it will most likely be one hell of a challenge, but you will cope. You might not be able to give birth exactly how you want, or with midwives you know already, but everything will be done to keep you and your baby safe and well. And being 18, your body will recover better than mine!

In terms of the virus madness, yes, I do think everything will be ok. I think it'll take longer than BoJo is suggesting and life will be odd for a while, but I think we'll adapt and cope. Mental health will be bigger concern for pregnant women/ new Mums than physical health I reckon. Online support systems are going to be crucial. Have you got family as well as the fab boyfriend?

Ahah yes I just want to eat everything! No I haven't read any books actually but I defo will!
I knoww I'm sure the birth will be okay glad it's a little way of yet tho.

Oh yess the list is a good idea it does help to be honest when we did that the other day. I'm glad your pregnancy is going well!

Yeh my family are ok mum was shocked and not that happy about it. But I think she's coming to terms with it but I'm living at my boyfriends now because we thought it would be better to be together but with the virus we shouldn't be meeting it's better to live together. I feel ashamed when I'm around my family though because I don't think mum would have expected me to be having sex. But I could never have an abortion if I really didn't want to keep baby I would do adoption but I don't think I could give a baby up tbh.
I get really nervous about a lot of things so I think being pregnant and having all the other worries I don't manage all of it very well but I'm trying my best. Sometimes get like panic attack things bf does a good job stopping it tho! Just worry all that's not good for baby. I'm sure your an amazing mum because you've made me feel better about it all!
Yes I think mental health will be an issue for sure with the virus especially not really being able to get out. I defo feel more tired though!
Thank u again for all your support!

I got pregnant at 18 and now have a 5month old. By 6 months my pelvic bones separated so I was constantly in pain. I was constantly scared about giving birth and didn't feel ready to go through it at any point.
I'll be honest giving birth is the worse pain I've ever felt ( but I didn't have pain relief)
As soon as you see baby all the pain goes away because you're focused on them.
you'll go through an awful lot of emotions when baby's born which is completely normal, but everything will come naturally to you and you'll be an amazing mum!
Good luck op x

My sister had a baby at 16 and she's one of the best mums I know.
Yes you're young but you can do it. You sound mature for your age.
Hopefully by the time you're due this virus has well and truly gone!
Good luck OP and congratulations

Hi I'm 37, I had my son at 17, he's now an amazing 20 year old.

I'm pregnant again now too!

My life turned out great, my son turned out great. It was such a stressful time but everything worked out just fine in then end.

So just wanted to say, you will be fine

Aww thank you so much for the replies! That's really good to hear does make me feel a little more happy now.
Aw yeh I can imagine once the baby comes everything else will be forgotten because you'd be too focused on the baby.
Yes by the time the baby's born I really hope the virus will be gone!
It's is a relief to hear from people who can tell me about their experience and reassure me through that though!
Thank you x

Aw, so many kickass Mums out there!