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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Visitors after baby is born

49 replies

struggleisreal · 21/03/2020 08:43

Hi all - almost 34 weeks so a few weeks to go until baby arrives but I was wondering what others were planning in terms of having visitors after the baby is born?

We are obviously going to restrict it as far as possible, but feeling quite upset about immediate family not being able to meet the baby.

What are other people thinking about this? I don’t want to be irresponsible and risk the health of the baby or family members but also the thought of my parents not meeting the baby makes me really sad!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 21/03/2020 16:56

Personally i am planning to accept visitors who will fully self isolate for 2 weeks prior to visiting. Thats what we are doing beforw baby comes to not put midwives at risk so seems a fair request

ineedanotherholiday · 21/03/2020 16:57

I'm due this week. Very very unlikely will be having any visitors for a good few weeks or more. Thank god for technology!

goldpartyhat · 21/03/2020 20:57

I can’t even believe you even need to ask.

My niece has a hacking dry cough and fever, a few days after leaving school where several classmates have the same. I’m sure your midwife will say no.

schafernaker · 21/03/2020 23:39

Feeling the same as you OP. The plan has always been that DD goes to my parents when i go into labour. Can we still do this? If she goes there then surely they may as well meet baby when DD returns!?

Mrselh · 22/03/2020 00:03

I'm 34 +4 weeks and I've had the same conversation with my husband its very upsetting the thought of my parents not being able to meet their first grand child. They are both high risk and self isolating/social distancing, I did speak to them about it and although it would be hard they understood and would happily not see the baby for as long as it took as long as the baby is safe and healthy!

We plan on showing her though a closed window/face time/photos.

Anyone who cares about you are the baby will understand although it will be upsetting it will be for the best for now.

we just have to be strong and make the right for the health of the baby not matter how hard they are.

Designerenvy · 22/03/2020 00:06

Zero, just whoever lives in your home normally. No grandparents, aunts, uncles ...no one. Your new borns Safety is more important. There will be many more opportunities to introduce your baby to family, in better times.

TangoWhisky · 22/03/2020 00:08

It would be zero for me...

UrsulaSings · 22/03/2020 00:30

People are saying they would let people visit if they had been self isolating for 14 days previous, but them themselves wont have been self isolating as they will have been around midwives/at hospital. Please remember it's not just a risk to yourself, it's a risk to others too. Babies will probably be fine if they get poorly - older people/people at risk may not be.

Bug8 · 22/03/2020 00:39

Am due any time now, family won't be visiting until further notice. Was so excited but what to do? We will however have my step son visiting as he lives with his mum and currently still socialising with his friends, am worried for new baby but OH doesn't think he could be a risk. Fingers crossed.

Bol87 · 22/03/2020 01:18

I had my baby on Wednesday & our midwife said to use our common sense. She personally suggested grandparents only on the grounds they are showing no symptoms & have socially distanced as much as possible. We had no choice but to use my parents to look after our eldest for a couple days while I gave birth and so felt realistically, if they had it, they’d pass it onto our daughter & thus bring it into the household anyway.

You have to have some visitors - the midwife was out today, back tomorrow & later in the week.. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Obviously she was very careful but she’s going round goodness knows how many houses to check newborns! And while in hospital, about 6 midwives, multiple healthcare workers, two doctors & hearing checker all handled baby .. unfortunately, it’s pretty difficult to isolate your newborn in that sense!

My other halves parents decided to self isolate on the day she was born & so long as no symptoms in 14 days, they’ll be coming for an overnight visit.

But that’s it then for us.. we’ll be self isolating bar seeing my parents who doing the same. I figure if neither of us go out or see anyone, then the virus cannot get in!

Jesskir89 · 22/03/2020 05:10

We're going through this now with my new born. Neither of our dad's have been able to visit but still had close family and 2 friends. Noone that works at hospital or schools and everyone constantly washes up. It's hard but need to limit risk

Marieo · 22/03/2020 05:22

No, facetime etc

Mumtoanimals · 22/03/2020 05:28

My baby is theee weeks old and hasnt met anyone really. He met maternal grandparents and thats it. Until the threat has gone I'm not risking it. It sucks because my mum missing out on her first grandchild, my sister on her first nephew, but its not worth it. Im taking lots of photos and videos and sending them to people

WorriedNHSer · 22/03/2020 05:34

If you go into hospital to have your baby you are potentially getting exposed to the virus yourself due to other patients and their birth partners being around so you should definitely at least self isolate for a couple of weeks. It is sad for your baby not to meet family straight away. More sad if the baby never remembers them because they catch the virus and die.

Whilst attending the hospital please try to carefully follow any rules given to help reduce the risk to you and others.

I feel so sorry for mums having new babies at this time. So many of the normal ways of doing things are up in the air. Try to enjoy your newborn bubble just your own little family.

tallah · 22/03/2020 05:38

You would be silly to have any visitors. It's horrific I know, I'm in the same boat but that's just the way it is! Will have to be FaceTime until the shit has finished

Roselilly36 · 22/03/2020 05:49

Congrats on your pregnancy OP, Covid 19 is spoiling many special times for people, and I can understand that families sometimes apply pressure to see a newborn, but given the scale of the pandemic it is much safer for you and the baby to not have visitors. Send photos, videos to all the people you love, but no visitors, never one should blame you for making that decision at a time like this. Good luck OP.

MsChatterbox · 22/03/2020 05:50

@schafernaker this was my original plan. I'm now planning on birthing alone! (husband drop me off with toddler in car)

Marnie76 · 22/03/2020 06:06

Protect your baby and have no visitors. I know it’s very hard but we are living in very unusual circumstances. If they care about you and the baby they will want this too. It will also be safer for them.

Nitpickpicnic · 22/03/2020 06:14

Well my sis had her baby 4 days ago.

There is a total ban on visitors. Partner (or one direct relative) only. That counts for hospital, and home for the foreseeable future. No exceptions. Everybody who wants to see the baby does so over FaceTime/Skype only.

Health visits are cut right back, lots happening online there too.

You’re going to have to accept this new reality. It’s a disappointment, but so it is for everyone getting married, dying alone and a million other ‘normal life’ expectations that are absolutely ruled out for now.

Be glad health workers are abandoning their own families, and dealing with their own stress, enough to provide birthing services for you. Feel lucky.

Keyboard91 · 22/03/2020 06:28

Currently cuddling my 8 day old. We’ve had no visitors to the house. But close family have met him on socially distanced walks (I’ve not let them touch him or hug me). I also send lots of photos and videos to friends and family so they feel part of his life.

Priorities change when baby is placed in your arms. I’m gutted that this isn’t how I planned things ... but I need to keep my little boy safe at the moment.

Marnie76 · 22/03/2020 06:44

I’ve just seen on Facebook someone cuddling their new born nephew. They’ve a DH (who is also cuddling the baby) who works in London, a child just back from Uni and two other school age kids. Any of whom could pass it on. Madness!

crazydiamond222 · 22/03/2020 06:51

49struggleisreal 'But that might be in 18 months time when a vaccine has been approved. I of course want to be careful but that doesn’t seem realistic'

It is a tough situation but I would wait and see. I don't think we will have 18 solid months of social isolation, there will be waves of cases and waves of the nhs being less able to cope. If however your baby is due end April/May you are likely to be entering a time of peak pressure and I would probably hold off visitors until later in the summer.

majesticallyawkward · 22/03/2020 07:15

OP, think of it this way- even if your and DHs parents aren't showing symptoms, unless they have had zero contact with anything or anyone else they could have CV and pass it on. It has a typical 14 day incubation period so they could have it and not know.

Presuming you give birth in a hospital there is a risk if exposure for you too, getting there, being in the building, contact with others, coming home, so you potentially pose a risk too.

Is it worth it when you can easily use video calls and send photos? We don't know how long this will last, social distancing could be relaxed a lot sooner if people would just do it properly.

RhymingRabbit3 · 22/03/2020 08:14

My Mum is staying home and only going out for a run, entirely so that she can come and visit when the baby is born. I would be happy with this because it will have been 2 weeks social isolation by the time baby comes so she would be showing symptoms if she had it.
My Dad has only been visiting my elderly grandparents and they havent left the house in weeks, so also very low risk to us.

My father in law is still working. He works for the NHS but not front line (office work in a small NHS unit, not a hospital or GP). However I am seriously considering not allowing him to visit, but I am concerned this could irreparably damage our relationship.

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