newborn won't sleep

[PumpkinMun]

hi, so my DS is 3 days old and for the last 2 nights he will not sleep/settle when put down.
everytime he is put in his next to me crib he crys but will happily settle on our chests.
this is my first child and I honestly cant cope right now.
I didn't get even 1 hour sleep last night and I can feel the same happening tonight.
I'm past the point of exhausted and keep crying.
has anyone else been through this?
I feel like I'm failing 😭

Almost all newborns are like this at first. You’re not doing anything wrong. Keep trying the cot but do you have a partner who can share the load? You may find he’s more willing to go into the cot in the daytime and you can catch up a little bit then. It does get easier.

I'm right there with you OP. My DD is 4 days old and seems to really struggle at night but will sleep more or less all day in her Moses basket.
Tonight has been the best yet, think I have managed about 45 minutes sleep so far but she is getting increasingly fussy so don't think I will get any more now.
My plan of action is to settle her on me then transfer to crib and repeat, every time offering a feed, burp and nappy check/change if necessary.
Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, so I am just muddling through it and hoping it gets better sooner rather than later.

Swaddling helped our youngest dd

Totally normal. The best thing to cope with the 4th trimester is to have no expectations.
Sleep is a myth in the beginning but plenty of cuddles and carrying, it's a beautiful stage.

Totally normal, he's only 3 days old - I know it's hard, but I guess when you think he's been in your tummy for so long and now suddenly he's out in the world, it must be such a shock to him! It does get better I promise, but realistically it could be a few weeks or even months.

Take shifts with your partner so you can get some sleep at least, and also sleep in the day when the baby sleeps. And don't feel under pressure to do anything around the house or for visitors (although given CV, I can't imagine you're having many of those). Good luck - it is worth it!

Yeah, sorry, horrible and entirely usual. You need a shift system for the first two weeks at least. I only managed to sleep if he was out of the house - if I could hear him even slightly I couldn't relax. Feed then get OH to take him out in the pram. Good luck. This will feel totally hellish for a bit but soon become manageable, honest.

Ah, what blueberryyoghurt said!

Soak up the cuddles. My DD is 11 weeks tomorrow and still won't go in her crib without settling on me beforehand.

Not sure if you're breastfeeding or not but the only way I can get DD in her crib at night is to change nappy, feed feed feed until she falls asleep on the boob then straight into her crib.

Swaddling was a massive help, white noise heartbeat sound playing, dim lighting and calmness. Try not to stress it these babies can sense it! Nothing lasts forever ❤️

A tip I have heard is put a hot water bottle in the crib to warm it slightly (remove it before putting baby back in!) can be comforting and help with sleep sometimes. Good luck!

My 11 week old son was like this at first as well so we co-slept safely for the first 3 weeks. I then put an extra comfy fleece blanket in his crib and he has slept happily in it ever since. I think the crib feels just too big and open for them at first and they are comforted by sleeping on you. Keep trying and hopefully you'll have success as well. I would also recommend using a baby sleeping bag once your baby gets to an appropriate weight. Good luck!

Welcome to motherhood!

This completely normal behaviour for a newborn baby. 3 days is very very early to be setting any expectations. Work as a team with your partner and you'll be fine.

Entirely normal, congratulations!

Try sleeping in shifts if you have someone there with you.

thank you for all the responses it has defo made me feel better to know I'm not alone! I'll defo try doing shifts and getting more sleep during the day when he's sleeping. day times so much easier.

We are 9 1/2 weeks in and those early days feel like a lifetime ago now. It's amazing how quickly it goes really.

When my DS was a newborn he would wake up the second we put him in the crib. White noise and leaving the top I had been wearing beside him helped him drift off again. We just took it back out when he was sound asleep and it was fine.

The early days are really tough OP but baby will settle with time. I never used a swaddle when DS was small but think I would try that next time too.

Totally normal! This is what babies do and why many parents are chronically sleep deprived (and why you'll be googling all sorts of baby sleep related questions - I know I did).

The first few weeks and months are the hardest - there is no routine and newborns love the contact with mummy and daddy and prefer sleeping on you.

Can you and your partner work in shifts at night? So each of you get some sleep? While the other either holds baby or tried to settle it in bedside cot in a different bedroom?

Your babies are so so new... you're not doing anything wrong it's just the way it is. Things will get better, promise, but the sleep deprivation can be a shock. X

After my first I would have said I think you need to talk to your health visitor and that only 1 night like that was normal. After my third…it's awful, it's hard, it's normal, it's natural. Let people help you. Is dp able to help out so you can sleep? Take care of babies in between feeds in the day and wake you when they need feeding? You'll still be knackered, but you can't be up 24 hours ongoing. Sorry it's hard. It will get better. Eat and drink and rest whenever you can.

Maybe you need to swaddle him.
It might make him feel better. He probably feels safer with you or husband at the moment. X

He's probably got his day and night a bit mixed up too. X

Oh dear, they all do that, Pumpkin. Let him sleep with you, that's what he wants. He hasn't got used to being outside of his mum yet. There are ways of safely co-sleeping which you can google and it will mean you get some sleep.