SIL pregnant same time as me

[Epg1]

Basically.... me and my SIL (partners sister) are pregnant together. I announced at 12 weeks and she told me she was 8 weeks. Both our first babies and the first grandchild on his side of the family.

I may be over thinking things, but already our pregnancy's are being compared and I am nervous about comparison when our babies are born amongst family, especially if they are the same gender.
We are both petite frame but she only weighs around 8stone whereas I weigh around 9, and family are constantly saying she is having a miracle baby because it's much harder to get pregnant when you are small.
Since she has announced she has had multiple gifts bought for her whereas we have had nothing (we don't need gifts from anyone but it just seems one sided)

I am still suffering with hyperemesis but I am getting things said to me like "SIL hasn't been sick so I don't know why you are so sick, must be what you are eating" this is becoming increasingly frustrating as the drs have told me to eat what I can keep down regardless of what it is (crackers currently), and I had to take some time off work due to me being in hospital because I had severe dehydration and more, and got comments like "you do anything to skive work". I have a much better paying job than her, and my maternity pay is very generous compared to hers, so I am planning on taking the full 12 months off and she cant do this, so is trying to convince me to only take 8 months.

She also is adamant she is having a section, whereas I want as natural as possible, I am constantly getting criticism for this choice along with my choice to try to breastfeed my baby etc.
Also family are starting to really get to me over things like "you will be spending Christmas with our family as both babies will be the same age" - when I myself have nieces and nephews who I love to see over Christmas along with my own family who will want to see our baby!!!

The other week MIL sat me down and said "make sure we are a part of your baby's life as much as your own family are" to which I said ofcourse you will be. But since then she has taken no interest in my pregnancy whatsoever but is constantly saying things like "can't wait until SIL has her next scan" - if you don't want to be interested in my pregnancy it's not my responsibility to keep you interested.

I suppose this is more of a rant than anything else, because I am lucky that my family are very very supportive and excited about this pregnancy. It's just becoming very very frustrating and I am getting increasingly anxious at the thought of us welcoming our baby into the world and them being second best for their lives once her baby comes along.

It's very normal for her family to be more interested in her pregnancy to yours and this us because she is there daughter and it us different for a mum and daughter than a mother in law smd daughter in law am sure with your own mum and family you have a different bond than your husband does, I honestly wouldnt worry about it when the babies come they will be different and do things at different times that's to be expected x

Just don't give them the ammo.
Use "I haven't decided yet" or "I'm not set on that yet".
Basically no definitive answers on anything, so they can't throw anything in your face or use it to compare.
WRT sickness, don't tell them how you're suffering.
As previous poster said, your SIL is their flesh and blood so they'll care about her far more. It's sad but once you accept that, keep your business to yourself and your loved ones, you'll feel so much free-er.
I speak as someone with a MIL very similar to yours. Hang in there

Based on what you’ve said, that does sound pretty one-sided. I can understand why you feel side-lined. It’s a bit off that she announced her pregnancy when you did. She could have waited a bit to let you have the focus for just a bit.

What does your DP say about all of this? Could he maybe speak to his family about not comparing the two pregnancies? Maybe your MIL feels closer to her DD’s pregnancy than her DIL’s and thinks you’ll be getting that sort of attention from your family instead. Just speculating...

Both my sister in laws were pregnant at the same time as me. My brothers wife (no issues) and husbands sister, literally weeks apart. They will favour her pregnancy over yours unfortunately, I remember going into a room and no seats and me and my sister in law were sitting on bean bags and someone said "right someone move and let "Katie" get a seat" I was sitting there like it's ok - I'm fine on the bloody floor!! Also, when babies were born hers got a lot more superior presents to mine I was really annoyed at that! Not at the presents but the fact my little girl wasn't good enough to get the expense spent on her as her baby did! I also got the chat about being involved in their lives too right down to the day I gave birth I was so pissed off I made them wait until evening visits to meet her! I get every feeling your feeling! Me and my sister in law were never the same again!

Seems all a bit playing off on each other and competition. Just enjoy your pregnancy and baby.
They sound awful if I’m being honest!