Feeling so down

[sel2223]

So long story short, I'm in a LDR with baby's dad who is not from the UK and lives in a different country.

It's a lot easier for me to get to him than vice versa due to visa issues so I've been going over to see him every month of pregnancy so far (i'm now 19 weeks) and planned to continue that until i couldn't fly anymore. In the meantime, we were going to concentrate our efforts on getting his visa sorted over the next few months so he could hopefully be here for the birth (I'm high risk so want to give birth in the UK).

Now, obviously my latest visit (i was due to go this week) has been cancelled, flights have been stopped in both directions with no real indication when they might start up again, obviously pregnant women have been advised to restrict going out etc for 12 weeks anyway which would take me to 31 weeks but who knows how long this will last so that could well end up being extended till a time when I can no longer fly.

I'm so upset and down about it all. Obviously our baby's health is the most important thing and I understand why the restrictions are in place but I'm just devastated that I might not see my OH again for the rest of the pregnancy! And if he can't get a visa to be at the birth.....

I can't stop crying, he can't stop crying. I'm feeling so lonely and isolated and I just don't know how to pull myself together.

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear you got stuck in this situation. We were on ldr for a total of 2 years, when we met and then a year after getting married when relocating to the UK. It broke our hearts being apart after already being married. DH struggled with depression and I couldn't be around him to help. I remember first month or so was the most difficult when we needed to come to terms with the situation and accept it's out of our control. Stay strong, I really hope the situation will improve in the next 8 weeks, in the meantime stay connected via phone and video calls. Get a plan for the visa and maybe check with the home office in a couple of weeks if they can somehow give an advise? I wonder if it's easier to make a parental visa rather than partner visa once the baby is there. It definitely would be a story of overcoming struggle for love once everything is sorted. Do you have family around to support you?

Oh, bless you. Chin up, I'm sure it'll be ok. It's not ideal no, but it won't matter in a year or so when you've got your baby and your DP with you.

@Viletta thank you for replying and sharing your story. Thank God for video calls!
I do have family around me but a few are self isolating and obviously i'm not seeing friends as much so it's just a lonely time all round! I'm trying to stay strong....it's just hard seeing him so down and not being able to do anything about it.
As for the visa, we're only going for a short term visitors visa as I'm planning to move over there with baby after she's born.

@BecauseReasons thank you. I am trying to stay positive and think of the bigger picture. This will certainly be a story to tell our daughter in the future.

@sel2223 are you planning for her to have dual citizenship? We will apply for both. I am also reading about how to raise bilingual kids. Not sure if your DP is from an English speaking country. Everything will be fine, we live indeed in extraordinary times. I think relationships are valued so much more when people have to overcome struggles of separation like that.

@Viletta yes that's the plan. We're moving over there fully after the birth and got wedding booked for next year.
English is not DP's first language so I'm also looking into raising a bilingual child. Never thought I'd be doing that lol!
Thank you for your kind words.