I feel like I don't care about my pregnancy or baby.

[naenaebird]

I'm 31 weeks pregnant with a little boy, I'm 21 and I just feel no connection, it's almost like I couldn't care less. Although I stopped smoking m, drinking and started eating better and looking after myself I feel no connection. I don't feel excited about it at all, when he moves and I feel it, it makes me smile and I like buying all the stuff for the nursery, but when I think about it and I'm alone I feel nothing, this is now making me worry that I won't connect with him when he is born, I might just be a little lost, any suggestion?

Side not the first scan I did almost cry and the same with hearing the heart beat for the first time.

Some women apparently feel overwhelming love for their baby from the moment they see the positive pregnancy test. Or from the first scan.

That wasn't the case for me.

I'm very glad the baby is healthy, shopping for him has been fun, but I wouldn't say I love him yet. I don't know how I can love a person I haven't met.

It doesn't mean I don't care about the pregnancy or the baby. I'm 37+6 so really close to meeting him and I do believe the love will come when I first get to hold him.

You're definitely not alone in how you're feeling, OP!

And you definitely sound like you care plenty!

I have 5 kids and I’ve never felt that rush of love thing for any of them. But I still love them, for me it takes time to grow.

Although I don't feel this way I know plenty of friends and relatives that did and most of them are great parents ! It just doesn't feel real to some people until the babies are here. My husband was a bit like that with our twins until one had some issues and he went to one of the scans and just fell in love with them. He couldnt see the point in going to to the scans etc at first because 'he'd just meet them when they got here'. Everyone reacts differently I feel like theres loads of pressure to feel a certain way do certain things but you just do you and the rest will follow :) best of luck to you x

It is indeed different for everyone.

With my first son, I loved him the whole time I was pregnant with him. The connection was lost, however, after I gave birth, what with me being so tired after the labor and the nurses waking me up at all hours to breastfeed, which was painful. I had no family around as they all lived far away in different states and my mom wasn't scheduled to fly out yet to see us (he'd arrived quite early).

Over the next couple of weeks the bond grew back and I couldn't imagine life without him.

With my second son, I felt zero connection while pregnant because I was so busy with the three-year-old and working. But after he was born, I fell in love with him the second I held him.

Pressure is immense to feel instantaneous love, I agree. You'll be absolutely fine!

You should talk to him, or read nursery rhymes or something. Apparently that helps you bond.