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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Coronavirus - new baby and visitors

22 replies

fibeee · 14/03/2020 21:05

I’m currently a week away or so from giving birth to my first DC.

I am feeling really anxious about visitors coming to the house (including grandparents) and them potentially bringing the virus to us when we’re trying to get settled with a newborn and BF established.

DH and I are discussing implementing a no visitors rule for the first couple of weeks of having the baby home. But we’re well aware of how much upset this will cause our families Sad

Is anyone else dealing with this right now? Part of me thinks I’m being totally irrational and stopping visitors would just cause hurt to our loved ones and prolong the inevitable.

OP posts:
Tibtab · 14/03/2020 21:10

I’m in the same boat, I’m 40+5 and waiting for baby to come. Family live all over the country but don’t want them bringing anything here.
I’m already paranoid as I have a sore throat and new cough :(

Bol87 · 14/03/2020 21:53

I’m adopting an approach I would have taken anyway - please don’t come near us if you are feeling under weather, actually ill, any symptoms of corona (should be self isolating anyway) or have recently travelled abroad (my bro in law for example is in Japan for work, he’s getting a two week ban from seeing us when he gets back!)

Otherwise, close friends & family are fine. But I’m keeping an eye on the official advice & I’ll happily change my approach should I need too.. if we go on lock down, decision will be out our hands!

Your baby, your decision. Many families choose to limit visitors in the early days anyway as it’s an exhausting & overwhelming time! And in these very strange set of circumstances we find ourselves in, you’ll probably find people are a lot more understanding of your decision!

Bol87 · 14/03/2020 21:54

Ps. Try not to worry too much about baby, children/babies are seemingly coping very well with Corona, mild symptoms & a quick recovery.. which is very reassuring!

R2D2abc · 14/03/2020 22:06

Don't worry to adopt that rule. I won't want visitors after baby is born anyways. Now with the risk I think people can understand much better.

If you already have a look a lot of maternity unit start a no visitors policy for the duration of this virus. I think they know why so I won't feel I'm the bad one in this situation.

LexiM · 14/03/2020 22:08

I think you’ve got to do what’s right for you. Lots of people don’t have visitors straight away anyway. I think whilst I would be sad I couldn’t see a close family members baby soon, I would also totally appreciate why and think it’s the right decision.

MrsP2015 · 14/03/2020 22:10

I would definitely put in place a no visitors rule.

Genuine unselfish family and friends will understand.

Maybe make a what’s app group so you can keep them updated every day even if it's just a couple of pictures so everyone can feel involved as much as possible but without the risk of spreading germs.

It's bad enough with a newborn without the CV risk.

Protect your newborn baby x

Original poster
fibeee · 14/03/2020 22:25

Thanks for your replies everyone. I feel less alone now hearing from others who have to make this difficult decision too.

OP posts:
LividLaughLovely · 15/03/2020 03:10

Being induced Monday.

More worried about family visitors.

Help.

LikeTheOceansWeRise · 15/03/2020 04:02

I think family members would 100% understand not meeting the baby for a little while. We are living through a pandemic after all! Don't put yourselves under any unneeded stress by having people round when you don't feel comfortable with it, and good luck with your little one Smile

LividLaughLovely · 15/03/2020 04:23

Nope. Mine 100% will NOT understand...

Lynda07 · 15/03/2020 04:50

It works both ways. If you are going to have your baby in hospital where you will be sharing the air with a few other people you don't know, it's possible your rellies won't want to put themselves at risk by visiting you.

Putting a ban on visitors for at least a couple of weeks is very sensible indeed - and any over 70 may be confined to base for four months!

Hopefully your husband will be at home with you for at least a couple of weeks and it will be nice for it to just be the three of you for a while. Visitors after having a baby can be so overwhelming - and inconsiderate.

Good luck.

Lynda07 · 15/03/2020 04:52

LividLaughLovely Sun 15-Mar-20 04:23:11
Nope. Mine 100% will NOT understand...
................

Why not, do they not realise we are in the middle of an epidemic? I get that up to a point people have to carry on as normal but a new mother and baby surely deserve special consideration.

You just tell 'em!

LividLaughLovely · 15/03/2020 05:01

I’m seriously considering not telling them when he comes.

They think I’m joking. Still going about everything as normal. It’s different for me, been on maternity leave for a long time already so out of the daily grind.

frillyfarmer · 15/03/2020 05:07

DH and I picked up a cold whilst we were in hospital having our DD last week, it was inevitable really - the right time of year for coughs and colds to spread.

We're trying to use it to our advantage and warn people off visiting until we feel better. That, alongside waiting three days to announce her arrival has made a huge difference. I'm happy to have close family over who will wash their hands and have the common decency to tell me if they're ill and stay away!

Doddle7 · 15/03/2020 05:22

Just no visitors! Be brutal. It's a very serious virus. People should understand your concerns.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 15/03/2020 05:26

I would say this to anyone who’s having a baby in this climate but heavens above if you were ever to be able to implement a “no visitors” rule then now is the time!!!!

And as a PP said yes, it’s very light in children but do protect yourself as much as you can.

newmumagainn · 15/03/2020 05:32

I had a baby three days ago, we had the community midwife come to check we were okay yesterday. I spoke to her about this, and she said that we shouldn't allow any visitors for the first few weeks at least. I'm telling my family and friends that is the advice we have been given and we are sticking with it.

My parents help to look after DC1, they've already met baby, and are self isolating now. I think they might still pop around.

InDreamland · 15/03/2020 07:33

Definitely protect baby and yourself. Your health and that of your newborn is the priority and I wouldn't give two hoots about what others think. Anyone who doesn't understand and cannot respect that decision are selfish and don't deserve to ever meet new baby anyway.

We implemented an immediate family only rule for when our 4 week old was born after we got home. My family have been brilliant and wash their hands before holding her as well as wear fresh clean clothes. FIL doesn't and I've decided he's not touching her again. Additionally FILs nasty selfish manipulative partner kicked off when we said family only so she's not welcome yet until we're ready for non family (massive back story here but won't bore you - SIL hates her too). She said to DH we're closed minded, gave FIL a nightmare kicking off at not being allowed to come visit and has since been referring to DD as a boy! That's given us all the reasons and ammunition to now say she's never welcome again.

My point from sharing my experience is that those who deserve and eventually will be welcomed to share in the joy of your new arrival are those who respect the wishes of the new parents and not question, challenge and turn it into about them and their wants.

To protect my 4 week old I am now avoiding church which kills me as attending mass is important but I don't want to risk our health. People at church have been very good last 3 weeks and not touched her but the risk is too high now with Coronavirus being more widespread. I'm taking no chances.

Original poster
fibeee · 15/03/2020 07:54

I had a chat with my DM who has been beyond excited about the baby. She knows now that she probably don’t see the baby for 2 weeks. She took it surprisingly well and said she understood and would only come when we’re happy to have visitors. So I feel a great deal of relief that the conversation has been had. But also incredibly sad for her as this is her first GC Sad

DH can have that convo with the in-laws now! I’m staying out of that one!

OP posts:
sjmco · 15/03/2020 08:55

I'm due a csection on Wednesday and I've told my family they will not be allowed to see baby when we get home until we decide. Our hospital is not even allowing visitors, only my partner is allowed in.

Sittinonthefloor · 15/03/2020 09:07

Gosh, without a second thought! We didn’t have visitors anyway for a couple of weeks and I’ve never regretted it. I would have thought most people will stay away anyway.

ChickenNugget86 · 15/03/2020 14:14

My baby is due in May and its an anxious time to be giving birth. I'm dreading going to my hospital appointments next week.

My in laws are late 70s and with all this talk about 70 year olds staying in got a feeling they may not be able to meet their grandchild for some time. It's upsetting but just going to have to be brutal and follow advise given. I've told my DH to teach them how to use Skype or WhatsApp..... Just in case.

My grandparents would have come to visit me also but they are both over 70 and my nan is currently in hospital waiting for a heart operation. Dont know if I'll see her again the way things are going.

I'm already afraid of giving birth but with all this going on and struggling x

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