I have a 3 month old and broody already... But i think fur seeing and dumb reasons. I don't know why I'm writing this really, i think i just need to put it down somewhere and get over it.
Basically for to money and space reasons we decided on 1 baby. And still logically i only want one.
My birth plan was to have it completely natural. I really wanted to experience giving birth. Even if it wasn't completely "natural" to give birth vaginally...
Basically that went tits up. I hear a c sec and felt really unhappy about it and the fact i failed to bf. The csec from a medical perspective went really well. I recovered well though i still feel a bit uncomfortable around my scar area and still feel getting up and about not as easy as it was before but 100x better than early days!
Anyway, my hormones wreaked havoc on me and my undesired birth experience made me feel rock bottom.
I love my daughter, she's the best ever little thing. But i can't look back to her birth and feel happy about it.
And i kinda... Already miss being pregnant and those first few medical weeks getting to know a tiny little baby.
Clearly I'm insane as my bubs is still a newborn and I'm loving seeing her change and grow. I'm not saying i want another one immediately i want to enjoy this one first! But part of me really wants to have another.
She is a very easy baby and i guess not breast feeding made it a bit easier as i think with bf might have had worse sleep.
Anyway... I know part of the reason for wanting another is to "fix" my previous birth and have the experience of a vaccinal birth. Crazy. Why would anyone want to put themselves through that? In the end i might prefer my csec i know but i just had the choice taken away. (Well kinda, it was either a very difficult forceps delivery or a csec. I thought with everything else going wrong might as well cut to the chase.)
It's totally irrational. There is no saying if I'd even have a "normal" birth the second time around. It could be worse. I might hate it. Good knows how people cope with more than one child. So then what would happen?
I'm hoping that in time this thought will disappear. It's a fact reason for wanting a second child. I'm sad i didn't get to have the birth i wanted but need to get past that.
I'm also 35 this year and definitely feeling the age thing.
Sorry for the long pointless post. I guess 8 just need to flung it out there.
Had anyone else felt the same after their birth plan went down the drain?