Evening.
So, I'm 37 week pregnant today, with 3 weeks until my due date and I'm having a very meh day.
This is my thought process on a daily basis and I wondered if anyone could relate.
I'm going to be productive today. It's going to happen. Oh god look at all those dishes. I'm sick of cooking and cleaning bloody dishes. I had this kitchen spotless yesturday, why is it trashed again?
Why can I suddenly see dirt everywhere. How long ago were those cupboards wiped down. Gah. Dust. I can't have the baby breathing that in. Disinfect everything. Clean all the things.
holds back and waddles Sweet jesus why did I do that to myself. Everything hurts. Whom I kidding. I've got no energy. I can't be chewed in the slightest. I'm exhausted.
passes by a mirror and gasps
Oh my god I look like a bag of shit. Is that really what I look like? Have I grown ANOTHER CHIN OVER NIGHT? When did I get a five o clock shadow?? when was the last time I put make up on? In fact, why do I live in leggings and pajama bottoms? This relationship has aged me. I don't even recognise myself anymore. I used to do my makeup nice and actually brush my hair. My OH and his kids have turned me into something that resembles a crystal meth addict. cries
I miss my old clothes! I'll get back into them one day. Just watch me. I'm gunna power walk with the pram and be a hot mamma.
And that bastard can cook his own tea. Sick of cooking. imitates OHs voice
"what's for tea tonight?"
What's for tea tonight? Cook yourself your damn tea I'm not chained to the kitchen! I'm gunna go on strike. Feel like telling him to choke on it. And why does his breath honk at the minute? It never used to. Don't even want him to touch me never mind try and have sex.
That was mean. You should simmer down with those hormonal mean spirited thoughts. Maybe I'll throw a tic tac in his mouth when he yawns. Subtle, yet effective.
Oh god, the step kids are staying this weekend and thier going to trash the house again. What's even the point in cleaning. Kids are animals. I can already hear the cheek and the tantrums and demands. Keep your cool. Don't get involved. The 4 year old, will go wild bat shit cray on you. Don't let her get to you. You only think she's a brat because you're heavily pregnant and irritable. It will pass.
Even if she did spit at you the other day and throw her dinner on the floor because she didn't want to eat it and wanted to sweets instead and you secretly want to punch your OH because he can't discipline his kids properly. Just breathe. Everythings fine.
You will parent differently.
I wonder what she's going to look like. Oh god I hope they get her out safely. I hope they don't have to cut my gooch. Or use forceps. Oh my poor nuni is never going to be the same ever again. I wonder if it'll echo when you shout into it. Pfft, why would you shout into a nuni you wierdo?
Is the Labour going to be truly horrific? Will I die? Will I talk utter codswallop on gas and air and pethadine? Will I poo on the babies head? gasps
I wonder how long after giving birth is acceptable to have a glass of wine? I love wine. I miss wine. Would be awesome to have that as pain relief. Just bring a bottle and a straw. But I need to try and breastfeed. Told that hurts like a mother! Yay can't hardly wait.
I should have a nap. Never going to be able to nap again am I? In fact. I should put my feet up. Yes. Let's do that. Let's go on strike. Let's leave the housework and watch loads of wierd stuff on YouTube like conspiracies and crime shit.
just sits down need a wee. Not even going to be a satisfying one. It'll be one of those dribbles and I'll need another one 5 minutes later.
burps like an animal I will not miss involuntary animalistic belches and farts.
Don't get me started on the coronavirus. Trust that to outbreak when I'm about to give birth. I'm just going to get a toolbelt and keep things like hand sanitiser, child repellent spray, bleach and disinfectant wipes in it. Spritz people when they approach me.
Seriously though I don't want my baby to catch it. Will people get offended when I ask them to wash thier hands before holding her? Poor thing. "welcome to the world"... (where there's a virus pandemic and people are horrible and ugly towards each other and everyone's addicted to thier digital devices and sit in trance like states staring at thier phones and kids don't have any respect anymore and where knife crime is rife and teenagers think thier gangsters and people are fighting over bog roll in shops when the coronavirus doesn't even give you the shits and OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE? You poor little soul. Mammas gunna keep you safe. Just avoid eye contact and stay in the house. We'll be OK little one....I think.
Anyone else wanna add anything? The countdown till eviction has begun.