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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Appointments

22 replies

ScatterBrain912 · 11/03/2020 09:48

What appointments did your OH go to/what ones are they going to? Did they only go to scans with you or did they go to midwife appointments too?

Just wondering because this is our first and my OH will be coming to all of the scans with me. But I had an appointment today just for blood tests that I really didn't see the point in him going to. What could he have done really? But then I have another appointment with the midwife in 5 weeks time should be be coming to that? I just don't know what these appointments include and whether it would be worth him coming or if it's just something I can go and do, like blood tests.

Obviously he wants to be there but I don't want to annoy his work by getting him to have time off for appointments he doesn't need to go to.

OP posts:

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hmfair54 · 11/03/2020 09:55

I'm 16 weeks with my first and so far my OH has been to two scans (we had one done at 7 weeks) and the booking appointment which was a mistake because he was just sat there for 30 mins while the midwife did my bp and bloods and asked me the questions.

I'd get him to save his time off for the scans as if your low risk, most of the midwife appointments are really quick so there wouldn't be any point and are only really centred on you. If he'd like to go to some appointments with you maybe go together later down the line when you're guaranteed to hear the heartbeat.

Congrats!

Lunafortheloveogod · 11/03/2020 09:59

Mine came to two of the scans (fortnightly then monthly growth scans so didn’t need him for every one) and one midwife app but he was already on annual leave. The actual midwife appointments seem to be more of a check up than anything particularly thrilling (excluding first time heart beat at 16weeks). Depending on your birth plan you could take him along to that appointment so he knows what you want and can discuss anything he wants too but that’s around 36+ weeks.

He’s allowed to attend any appointment, unless you don’t want him there. But most will be a urine dip, blood pressure, any questions, Doppler and maybe a blood test if you need it. Or a couple of new leaflets if there’s anything to give out.

Sophie91 · 11/03/2020 10:00

My OH has come to all the scans, and will be coming to my 34 week midwife appointment this week as we are going through birth plans, C-sections etc. which will be useful for him to know. The rest of my midwife appointments have been quick and boring and no need for him to be there!

stairgates · 11/03/2020 10:01

We are a few babies down the line and DH doesnt come to any, I think he came to the scan for the first?:)

KittyKat2020 · 11/03/2020 10:02

My OH has been to the booking appointment, the 16 week midwife appointment to hear baby and is coming to the 20 week scan. He didn't come to the 12 week scan as we had a private one at 10 weeks so he wouldn't of missed out too much.
I'm going to blood tests and glucose test with my mother in law or other family member as I would rather him save holiday for when baby is here.

Mammyofasuperbaby · 11/03/2020 10:03

My dp is coming to all 7 scans as I'm high risk and don't want to get bad news alone but he isn't coming to my midwife appointments as there are loads and someone needs to watch our son.

Pineapplebaby · 11/03/2020 10:14

My partner has come with me to all scan appointments and consultant appointments so far (so she could see the baby and listen to any important info) and to half of my midwife ones (only when she happened to be working from home that day).
Appts just for bloods or routine midwife appts I personally don’t think it’s necessary.

katmarie · 11/03/2020 10:25

Dh came to my booking in appointment, all my scans with first dc, as well as a couple of mw appointments to hear the heart beat, and he came to antenatal classes with me too. Second time around was the same but no antenatal classes this time. He came because he wanted to be involved as much as he could be since I was doing the hard work so to speak.

mumma2b2020 · 11/03/2020 10:28

My DH has been to all of my scans and the first couple of midwife appointments, but not the recent midwife appointments (I'm 37 weeks) as they are so quick!

Sleepycat91 · 11/03/2020 10:29

My other half came with me at 12 16 and 20 week scans and once when i went in for reduced movement.

latheritup · 11/03/2020 11:53

Booking, scans and the birth plan appointment (I think 37 weeks?). He came to the odd midwife one in between if he was around but wasn't necessary.

ChipsAreLife · 11/03/2020 11:57

DH has only ever come to scans and consultant apps (the ones done at same time as scans as was there).

I find MW apps really dull personally and don't see the point. He couldn't have done much as I'm getting BP, bloods done etc, but some people need to feel supported for those things. I recorded heartbeat on my phone so he could hear though.

It's completely up to you though.

Bezalelle · 11/03/2020 11:59

I went to my booking in appointment on my own, and DH came to the 12 week scan. I'll go for my quad test on my own tomorrow, and he'll come to the 20 week. Scans seem more important than the appointments somehow!

Alarae · 11/03/2020 12:07

My DH came to all scans and midwife appointments. Only ones he didn't come to were the GP ones.

He wanted to come to be involved, but the time off work was also attractive! (He was paid for all antenatal appointments he attended)

AccountAntsy · 11/03/2020 12:10

DH just came to scans with me. He’s a teacher so wouldn’t be able to come to the others. To be honest it would have been a waste of time him coming too, but I didn’t feel ill or anxious so didn’t need his support. Perfectly fine to want your partner there (although I think they prefer to do at least some appointments alone in case there are any domestic violence concerns). By the end I was having so many growth scans we didn’t bother having him come along to those either.

Babyfg · 11/03/2020 12:16

Just the scans. The rest are really boring and not worth losing a couple of hours pay. He would have just sat there like a plum In them. Also there's loads of signs at the children centre saying they like to have a couple of appointments with the mum to be by themselves (I think so women have a safe place to talk about abuse) but I don't know if that's just my area or nation wide

Bienentrinkwasser · 11/03/2020 12:17

Husband came to 12 and 20 week scans. I had a couple of growth scans but he couldn’t come to them as was working and the hospital was about an hour away. He might have been at one of my homebirth appointments in the end but I can’t actually remember! He came to hypnobirthing classes with me.

I’m a midwife so a lot of my appointments were just done by a colleague when we had a spare moment. We didn’t have the usual anxious first time parent questions as I was used to everything so I think that made a big difference too.

Showmeyourhero · 11/03/2020 12:23

Currently pregnant with DC2.. DH came to all scans with my first and second, he'll also join me on the 36Week consultant appointment to discuss birth options. Honestly no point in him attending the others, I'm having MW check ups every 3 weeks at the moment and they're just a few tests (blood pressure / urine / measuring bump) that take 20mins or so! I just call him after if there's any news

redwoodmazza · 11/03/2020 13:14

Mine just came to the scans. One of which was to check baby was OK as there were major concerns....

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/03/2020 13:24

My OH came to 3 scans with me.

I go to Midwife appointments alone as they are just routine questions, blood tests, blood pressure etc. I find them a bit dull being the focus of attention so see no need for OH to be involved. He is self employed so would need to take unpaid time off work to attend too.

I've had 5 midwife appointments now and usually see a mix of women going in alone or with partners. Even with their mums.

Robs20 · 11/03/2020 13:28

DH comes to all scans and consultant appts (of which there are many). I go to midwife/ GTT/ blood tests/ physio alone.

ScrumptiousBears · 11/03/2020 13:30

DP only came to scans really and some of those he couldn't get time off for. No point in going to routine midwife appointments and bloody test really.

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