Is it ok to feel like this?

[Luckyme30]

I’m 6 weeks pregnant and whilst it wasn’t exactly planned I am in a happy relationship which is stable and would love to have a child...

My problem is (please don’t judge) I’ve had two previous terminations as I just felt like a failure and like I couldn’t be a mum. I can’t explain why I feel like this just it’s just something inside me.

I’ve never been a ‘Mumsy’ person and have always shyed away from newborns and don’t feel comfortable talking about babies with family - when they ask ‘when are you going to make me a granny/great granny’ I’ve always just changed the subject as the thought made me uncomfortable.

I love the idea of a toddler/child and being able to see my child grow up but the thought of a baby scares me and the thought of being pregnant also scares me!

I’m struggling badly with nausea and headaches and I really want to see this through because I know it’ll be worth it.

I am really worried that the way I feel is not normal - shouldn’t I feel excited? Or connected to my baby? At the moment I just keep thinking what have I done, but on the other hand after my terminations I’ve been left devastated and always wondered what life would have been like had I continued worh the pregnancy.

Has anyone else felt like this and been able to go through with the pregnancy? I really want this but I’m struggling.

I called the midwife and asked to be seen early due to my anxiety but they said I had to wait till 9 weeks before they would see me.

Hey Don't stress, im 33 weeks and Im not a mumsy person either, I've always been a tomboy, I work in London with all men, I don't have very girly friends and all those who have now had children we have either lost touch or don't have much in common with anymore so don't really speak.

When I found out I was pregnant I was excited but also panicked- my OH and i have been together for so many years and we wanted kids but I didn't know if I would ever make a good parent. My OH is so excited an I constantly feel bad for not feeling how I think im suppose to be acting. My midwife has said it is completely normal and not everyone has the same reactions or feelings towards being pregnant as you see in the movies.

You need to take some time to look after you, thankfully Ive not had any symptoms during my whole pregnancy but its made the experience less 'real' I suppose and not really sunk in- even still. Everyone copes differently, take one day as it comes, breathe and do your best to relax. You will be a great mum, you were made for this despite anything that's happened previously. Don't let anyone make you feel that you arn't normal or doing it right, you can do this. :) keep your chin up it will be worth it in the end.

@bumpnpups Thank you so much for your lovely post and words of encouragement! It’s really reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who feels like this.

@luckyme30 Promise you your not alone, I know how scary and upsetting it can make you feel when you don't know if your even acting right :)

I can't promise you will feel like roses the further along you get but I can promise you your not the only one