Do I stop pushing for promotion because I'm pregnant?

[Lauren15691]

Hi

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and still havent told work. I'm so anxious about telling them as I'm very career driven and I'm on the cusp of a promotion. I'm regularly mentioned by senior management as having a great chance at promotion when a job comes up. Jobs dont come up all that often so it's been a waiting game for a while now. What would you say is the maximum time I could leave it before accepting that I'm going on maternity leave soon and should take a back seat? I know they cant discriminate but I feel like they will in their own discreet way. I'd feel terrible taking a job knowing I'm going on maternity soon as I'd be leaving people in the s**t. Basically I'm feeling hard done to because I really want my baby but I'm also feeling like I'll have to sacrifice what I've worked so hard for over the last few year. I know I could pick it back up where I left off in 9 month but hate the thought of seeing a job come up in the meantime and watching someone else get it because I felt like I couldnt apply. I feel like I'd be selfish applying for something knowing I would be saying "oh by the way,I'm pregnant!" - any advice?

TIA x

Well no, you absolutely shouldn’t stop pushing for a promotion just because you are pregnant but equally, I wouldn’t hide the fact you are pregnant if a job was to come up. It really wouldn’t look good & I imagine there’d be some concerns upon your return that you weren’t honest.

You’ll be showing soon, so unless one comes up in the next month or so, I’d say it’ll become obvious anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

I went for a promotion while on maternity leave (before baby was born) & didn’t get it despite literally doing the job unofficially for a year.. I was quite annoyed but result not surprised as it would have been a nightmare for them to manage as I was taking 14 months off! And baby came along a week later & work was the furthest thing from my mind for a long time! When I went back to work, I was fairly relieved to settle back to a job I knew well & was good at. It was an adjustment working with a child & juggling getting them up, dressed, to childcare, the initial emotion of leaving your baby all day etc etc.,

A year after I returned, the job came up again & I got it. So all’s well that ends well. Took a bit longer but I got there! And I get to do it part time, which was fab of my company. I fell pregnant with my second a month into the new role I felt pretty guilty but all is fine

Be honest. It’s the best policy.

My advice: go for it, don’t tell them until you have to.

Looks like the PP was discriminated against- not cool, and illegal.

You deserve the promotion, despite the fact that women do have babies. Your company will survive- it sounds like they’re very lucky to have you and should absolutely want to keep you.

In my job, I have to tell them before I am 15 weeks pregnant!! Definitely check your contract!

I agree with 2nd pp - keep pushing and don't tell them until you have to (because of health and safety issues or because it's getting obvious).

Just to say - personally I'm going to take it easy at work and not go for promotion for a while due to pregnancy/baby and if you decide that's what you want that's fine too, but plenty of people want to and can do both and if that's you then you should go for it!

@N12345625 are you sure that’s not 15 weeks before your expected due date (so roughly 25 weeks pregnant?) That’s the standard date you need to inform them by but it’s annoying how they calculate it backwards from due date rather than no of weeks pregnant.

@dollywilde I have just double checked any you are right!! Glad you replied. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant and wanted to keep it from them for as long as possible. I am currently on maternity with my first? (she is 8 months) so thought I would have to tell them as soon as I got back!

Go for it. When you do tell them (and I'm not sure when the best time would be) tell them with confidence. If you're the right person, they're not going to throw that away for a 9 month absence - that's very little in the grand scheme of things. Although it is against the law to discriminate, they might, so work to reassure them. For your own sake, have a great plan about what happens at the end of your leave - find a GREAT nursery or nanny (or OH!) and give yourself a realistic timeframe for the handover period. Your confidence and forward planning will give them confidence. Good luck!

@N12345625 no worries! I have no idea why they do it that way (they could just say 25 weeks' pregnant, after all you get your dates fixed at scans) but never mind! Fingers crossed your work don't make life difficult for you.

Thanks so much everyone that has really helped. I'm torn between feeling like I deserve to be promoted and not wanting to drop people in it by taking a job then going straight off. If I tell them I really dont think I'd get it but that might just be me being an overthinker. I'll leave it until the last minute and see how things pan out. I've got lots of great family members who want to take on some childcare responsibilities allowing me to go back to work full time, I'm very lucky that longer term, I will be able to be both a mother and career focused. Sadly I get the impression that us women have to often choose one or the other xx

I'm 18 weeks and have had the same debate, my boss has left and a lot of people have assumed/recommended I go for it. I've applied, not sure if I'll get it but I knew I would regret not going for it.
I'd say go for it - good luck.

They can’t discriminate for pregnancy

I pushed for promotion when I was pregnant without hiding the fact and when I came back after Mat leave I pushed for another despite being part time.
Just proved that I could do what was required for the promotion in the hours I worked