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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Not sure what to do - to try or not

0 replies

2020anon · 09/03/2020 13:24

Looking for some advice/help in deciding whether to try for a baby or not...I've just turned 41 and met my partner (who is 6 years younger) two years ago, having had a period of 10 years single, after a terrible marriage. We are happy, financially stable and healthy.

Last Summer we had a surprise pregnancy, which ended in a termination at 15 weeks due to the baby having a fatal chromosome disorder. This has no bearing on future pregnancies/their potential success - was just a really rare unfortunate thing that happened.

My partner now wants to try again and I'm genuinely torn.

Apologies to everyone who is not in such a fortune position, but I just don't know if I want to try again or not. I am worried about the associated risks of my age, the previous termination experience, and generally if I'm just too old and/or selfish now to carry a child and be a parent. I've heard the experiences of older mums is not always great. Even as I write I can hear how selfish and awful that all sounds, but its how I feel and have to say it out loud to someone, before I go mad.

The Consultant where I had the termination said to 'get on with it' if you are going to try again, which has heaped pressure on me to make a decision and its become a constant dilemma running round my head, to the point where I'm struggling mentally.

I'd be grateful for anyone's comments/ideas if they had a similar thoughts and what you decided, how it turned out. Thank you

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