Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Not sure what to do - to try or not

0 replies

2020anon · 09/03/2020 13:24

Looking for some advice/help in deciding whether to try for a baby or not...I've just turned 41 and met my partner (who is 6 years younger) two years ago, having had a period of 10 years single, after a terrible marriage. We are happy, financially stable and healthy.

Last Summer we had a surprise pregnancy, which ended in a termination at 15 weeks due to the baby having a fatal chromosome disorder. This has no bearing on future pregnancies/their potential success - was just a really rare unfortunate thing that happened.

My partner now wants to try again and I'm genuinely torn.

Apologies to everyone who is not in such a fortune position, but I just don't know if I want to try again or not. I am worried about the associated risks of my age, the previous termination experience, and generally if I'm just too old and/or selfish now to carry a child and be a parent. I've heard the experiences of older mums is not always great. Even as I write I can hear how selfish and awful that all sounds, but its how I feel and have to say it out loud to someone, before I go mad.

The Consultant where I had the termination said to 'get on with it' if you are going to try again, which has heaped pressure on me to make a decision and its become a constant dilemma running round my head, to the point where I'm struggling mentally.

I'd be grateful for anyone's comments/ideas if they had a similar thoughts and what you decided, how it turned out. Thank you

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page