Who do you ask for help when planning birth childcare?

[JugsAndSoap]

Hi all, sorry for silly thread title, couldn't think of a better one!
I'm 6 weeks pregnant with our second DC (first is 27 months) and wondering what those of you do who have a limited support network?
Sadly DH and I have lost both sets of parents and I am an only child. My DH has one sister but she is very ambitious and works long hours in a high pressure job.
I'm thinking about the time when it comes to giving birth (still a while away) and who could help us. I will be offered an elcs as DS was breach and so automatically get offered one this time but all being well I'd love a natural birth. I know DH would be heartbroken not to be there but it seems the only option if I opt for a natural birth as I can't guarantee when it will be. We have lovely friends who could have him for a bit but not for days on end etc.

Sorry for the waffle, just hoping someone has a bright idea?
Thanks in advance?

I’m in a similar situation. What friends have done, which I’ll do to, is set up a whatsapp group with friends / neighbours and get a sense of who is available to take dd when, or come to our house overnight. Most people are happy to inconvenience themselves for a birth ime. If totally stuck could you introduce a babysitter now, with monthly “play dates”, so your DC knows them come the birth?

We asked a friend to take DC1.

But I have thought about it a lot at the time, and if needed, and DC1 distressed about not having a familiar face, DH was going to take her. In the end neither was needed, because labour was a fast 1 hour (compared to 3 days with DC1). We went into the midwife led unit with DC1, DH texted friend just before we left home, and DC2 born before friend got there. It was a very quiet day at the unit, and another midwife sat with DC1 just outside my room.

The friend has teenage children and is DH’s colleague. I agree it will be hard if the other has young children which they can’t just leave. I don’t know what I would do in that situation. I think I will just go with DH with child.

I would say be brave op and ask people at nursery and friends. I would be very happy to be asked even by an acquaintance who was in this position. If you say ‘we haven’t got any help’ and so are reaching out to see if anyone would be prepared to help out a tiny bit here and there eg nursery run if I get called into hospital then hopefully someone will step up and offer to have your dc. You can then get dc used to them from now by doing play dates etc

Watching this!

If you can afford a doula, hire one! Google doula uk. They are very flexible and can be with you while yo husband is with DS then maybe swap...They can also give you lots of info and support in planning your birth x

My (registered) childminder offers evening and weekend minding for mindees.

I found her through a local mums’ Facebook group. Could you find someone similar in your area and have DC1 go for a few hours a week to get settled in the lead up to your due date?

We were in a similar situation with no family around. Our childminder agreed in advance to take DC1 for when I was going into labour with DC2. None of us expected I would go into labour on New Year’s Eve when our childminder was having a party at her house! Oh well, what can you do, DC2 was in a hurry, so the CM took DC1!
I agree with previous posters, ask around friends, potentially childminder, I am sure most people would happily help out.

No family in the immediate vicinity here so have a variety of options depending on day/time.
Nursery/wrap around care happy to take as extra
One of the girls from nursery babysits for us
Two friends who live 5-10mins away happy to help day or night.
Nearest family is my grandparents who can help with a bit of notice but takes them an hour to get here.

As it is DS is still stubbornly inside and being induced tomorrow which has made life much easier.
DD is 4 and at school which also helps!

When I started to ask around people were very willing to help!

We had a list of people on standby and a plan for if I went into labour when DC1 was in nursery, it was the night time, it was the weekend etc. We left a key with nursery so they could take him home and wait with him if needs be. In the end DC2 came on the middle of the night and the neighbour came down and slept on our couch, then nursery staff member picked DC1 up on their way in. By the time nursery was over DC1 had been to visit us in hospital and we were all back home!

People will he delighted to help if you ask them. Give yourself lots of options, and it'll be fine.

Have a home birth and child can stay with you?
Ask friends - do you have friends with kids similar age. My DD is the same age and they're pretty easy to look after at that age, I would be happy to take a friend's (or even acquaintances) child for the day in an emergency.

We are four weeks out from DC2's arrival and in a similar position. We live overseas and have been here just on a year so support network is definitely patchy! We've made friends but most have small DC's of their own. Two of DH's colleagues and a family we know have offered to help and two of those we've had a couple of extra play dates/coffees with. We talk about it a lot with DD who is just three so she is more prepared. We also have a regular babysitter (although we don't go out much).
In terms of preparing we have made DD a special bag and gone through it with her so she knows she has everything she needs if she is to go with someone while I'm in hospital. We also took her on the maternity hospital tour with us which turned out to be a positive as she has an idea of where I'll be going.
We spoke with the hospital midwives too and they've said it would be fine for her to come with us if we get stuck and might mean some juggling between DH and midwives but they understand the situation. Obviously DH would make DD the priority and I'm fine with that and birthing with midwife if need be.
So long story short we have some options but as I'm not down for an induction or CS at this point we're just going to have to feel our way through and check with those who offered when it kicks off. It does bug me not having a definite plan though!

I had asked a friend to have dc1 but luckily dc2 decided to arrive whilst my parents were visiting ( I live in the uk but im originally from france). This time I'm going to ask directly my neighbours as we get on well. I think most people are happy to help in this kind of situation so don't be afraid to ask.

Thanks all for these replies, it has actually really helped. Sometimes you can feel like you're the only one in a situation, so hearing others has really helped.
I love the idea of a WhatsApp group- all of the potential helpers know each other a little from parties, weddings etc so I'm sure they could co-ordinate it between them when the time comes.
Also love the idea of him having a little bag for his trip, he can help to pack it and I might even treat him to a special one like paw patrol or something- I could tell him the baby bought items a present.
I wouldn't really consider a home birth because we live in a very isolated location, and the nearest hospital is over 40 mins away without traffic and I'd be scared in case anything went wrong. Also (selfishly?) I don't want to be worrying about DS running around while I'm in pain.
But again thanks because I'm already feeling like this could be a possibility!