18 weeks pregnant and constantly being skinny shamed

[kaxxz]

Hi all

I'm 27 and 18 weeks pregnant and husband's family are always skinny shaming me at family events. My MIL has made remarks when she's saw me etc. They say I need to eat etc I was 8 stones but lost some weight because of morning sickness etc. I'm 5"6, I personally don't have a concern about my weight as I am confident once my MS eases I'll start gaining weight. My MW said I shouldn't let people say I'm too skinny or feel forced to eat. I've spoken to my husband who understands and tells me not to let people's comments affect me. I just feel emotional as my body is changing and I don't need the negativity from his family.

Has anyone else ever felt skinny shamed and have any advice.

I am just fed up of others thinking it is ok to pass judgements on my weight etc.

I haven't (I was overweight), but my friend had similar, and when she told people it upset her she was told she should stop moaning. But people wouldn't be so tolerant of people saying wow you've put on a lot of weight, would they. I'm glad your midwife is being sensible, as long as you and baby are healthy then I wouldn't worry. It's not that easy I know though :( has your husband told them to stop and be respectful?

Do you have an ED,is that why they are worried?

No that's unfair!!! I haven't got any advice, as I didn't get "skinny shamed" as such, but up until I was 28 weeks I had people telling me I didn't look pregnant, was I actually sure etc, because I didn't "pop" until then and maintained my size 10/12 figure.

I wouldn't worry about what they say, listen to your me and husband, they're right. I think you should go for the mumsnet standard reply of "do you mean to be so rude?" it's actually a really good response and some people genuinely don't realise they're doing it.

Yep. 20 weeks and the comments on my lack of bump are so fucking annoying, as is the follow up comment of "well there's nothing of you anyway". I'm 5'4" and pre-pregnancy was around 8st - I'm now 9st and feel huge for me - I do have a bump, it's just not that noticeable, and my boobs have gone up three sizes. I've actually really struggled with the sudden change in my body, as I've never really put on weight before because of genes and I'm really active, so having people comment that I'm tiny is shit. To be fair, people commenting full stop is shit.

Try to ignore them, and remember it's a problem with them not you. Would parroting at your MIL that your MW has no concerns help? There's no stopping some people though.

I was still in my normal size 6 and 8 clothes until 24 weeks with DC1 and then within five days I suddenly looked as if I was thirty months pregnant with triplets.

Oh do fuck off @MrsPelligrinoPetrichor**

I would have thought her question was entirely valid?

My husband did tell my MIL exactly what the MW said and she backtracked like she never passed any comments on my weight.

I've always been a size 8 my family are pretty petite so I've never seen any problem with it. It just upsets me that people think it's ok to talk about my weight when it's not. I've constantly told them I do eat etc and they be like nooo you don't. 😔

I don't have an eating disorder I have always been naturally skinny.

Oh do fuck off @MrsPelligrinoPetrichor**

I know it’s hard but remember that your mw is the professional and not your in laws. If she isn’t worried then you shouldn’t be either. Pregnancy is an anxious enough time as it is. Could your DH have a word with them? Sometimes you just need to tell people straight.

Tbh this is your life now. Pregnant women's bodies are up for public discussion according to most people. You're either too small / too big / "is it TWINS?!" / looking well / having a girl because they "steal your beauty" / need to "eat for two" / definitely not "eat for two" / watch your calories in the third trimester or you'll have a massive baby....the list of (often contradictory) advice is endless. I went from "not even looking pregnant!" at 20 weeks with my first to "my god you are HUGE! Is it TWINS?!" by the end (nope, singleton actually!). It's best not to worry too much about it in all honesty as this is going to last until well after you've had the baby, since people also feel the need to comment on post-natal bodies too. It happens to us all: skinny, fat and everyone in between.

I don't have an eating disorder I have always been naturally skinny

Just keep repeating that your MW is fine with how things are going.

Get used to it, people have an opinion on EVERYTHING when you're having a baby/had a baby- just try not to take it on board.

Ok he has sorry cross post. I’m naturally skinny too and hate that people think it’s ok to pass comment when they wouldn’t if someone was overweight. I think you’ll just have to let it wash over you if DH comment haven’t stopped it. Once the baby is here it’ll stop.

I’m naturally skinny too and hate that people think it’s ok to pass comment when they wouldn’t if someone was overweight Oh they do!

Ive got it my whole life, pregnant or not.
its sucks but womens bodies are deemed open for comment, more so once pregnant

I've had it for years too, especially the colleagues at my last job. I've found the only way to deal with it is actually to say "it upsets me when people comment on my weight". People are generally well-meaning and soon shut up (like OP's MIL). We shouldn't have to point out it's upsetting, but at least it works. (And the colleagues at my current job are much nicer whew!)

Some people can be really harsh esp when pregnant they think they have a right to body shame and make comments on how women look. I'm nearly 37 weeks pregnant and lost over 10kg due to hyperemesis. I've managed to gain it all back but my bump is quite small to what other women look like at this stage of pregnancy. The amount of comments I've had about not looking pregnant and I'm too small and is the baby growing ok has really made me angry and upset. It's none of their business. Your midwife and doctor know what they are doing and if they have concerns they will tell you.
I hope people can me more kind to you op. Hope everything goes well for you 🙂

It's normal not to start showing a pregnancy bump until 5-7months

It’s amazing how people think they can comment because you’re slim, as if it’s every okay to pass comment on someone’s body.

OP, your in laws seem like they could may be insecure in themselves and with their own bodies and are just projecting it outwards onto you. Maybe you don’t eat enough by their standards, but they may overeat!

Maybe respond with, “yeah, personally I think it’s great to be naturally slim and know I can eat what I want”

I’ve got this throughout my life - one minute they are saying how they’d long for a figure like that... to calling you a rake the next moment. Baffling.

Anyway, as long as you’re comfortable in your own body that’s all that matters - as someone said, leave their comments wash over you.

I could still wear some of my clothes all the way through my previous pregnancy and had a flat stomach up until 6 months - DD was 8lb4 and to this day is super healthy.

Stop caring about what they say or think, ive just had a baby i lost over a stone when pregnant due to GD ,people said my bump was massive which it wasnt and that id have a big baby which i diddnt.
Dont let them bother u or get u down. Im sure u look amazing OP x

I'm 30 and 25weeks pregnant, Pre pregnancy weight 6 stone 12, always been slim, eat like a pig, had a life time of stupid comments from inconsiderate people. I know exactly where your coming from. You wouldn't go up to a fat person and say oh my god look at your chubby legs so why people need to point out the other extremes is beyond me.
Even today meeting some "friends" they all jokes at how I don't look pregnant and I'm so tiny blablabla.
At the end of the day I know I have put on weight I'm not 8stone so a good weight gain for me so far. I know it's tough but we've just got to bite our tongues and let it go. Sounds like your doing a ok!
xx

Now* 8 stone