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Your best tips / advise for first time parents

14 replies

GaaaaarlicBread · 07/03/2020 09:53


My husband and I are expecting our first baby in August. Feeling very blessed. We couldn’t help ourselves and have a few little outfits already, but nothing more. I’m 15 weeks today. Just wondering if anyone has any tips, advise, things you wish you’d done etc that we could do. My husband delivers babies so he’s all ready for when baby gets here but we are a bit like ‘when do you buy the cot bed, pram, nappies etc’ . I have my 20 week anomaly scan on 9th April so it’s some time away but I’ve had a couple of scans and baby is apparently doing very well, but I know most people wait until after the 20 week mark I’ve heard. Please advise , any tips for when baby is born too would be great to hear as we think we’re ready but obviously never experienced it! so many experts on here it would be great to hear your top tips !
The room is decorated as it was the spare room already so we have two chest of drawers , one of which will double as a changing table, and we have a wardrobe and things like that so we will add some art work but the nursery itself is done! So that’s one thing ticked off.

Thanks !

OP posts:
LazyYogi · 07/03/2020 10:01

Get stuff whenever you like. I got a second hand pram for a bargain at 15 weeks as I didn't want to pass it up. But I regret not letting myself buy clothes until 36 weeks as I was way too lazy to enjoy shipping by then. I had issues in my pregnancy though so I was more anxious than some.

Delbelleber · 07/03/2020 10:10

My tip is just remember all babies cry and they won't come to any harm from it. The cry goes right through you and makes you stressed but sometimes you can't stop them crying no matter how much soothing etc. Try not to get yourself flustered and upset by it. Just take each day at a time and enjoy the early days because they pass SO quickly.

Windyatthebeach · 07/03/2020 10:13

Don't feel pressured to hand your precious baby to relatives who want unsupervised time....
Your baby remember!!

stairgates · 07/03/2020 10:22

Congratulations on your pregnancy, how awesome that DH delivers babies!!

I would say that all the decorating and shopping bits are lovely but my top tip would be to have a read around some threads and have a chat or a little plan in place incase you have a little one who doesnt settle very well, which is very common:) Maybe agree that Saturday is mums lay in morning where dad will creep around with baby and Sunday is dads lay in where mum will creep around with baby until a set time. Babies are 24hrs every day its unpaid but doesnt mean its not hard, emotional and manual labor:) Again have a chat now and just get the 'Ive been at work for 8 hrs, I deserve a rest, bring me my dinner' chat out of the way now before it turns into the 'Well I havent had a break in 16 f'ing weeks, wheres my rest and f'ing dinner!!!' row. You will probably be lucky and wont hit these lows but it is a rough time that may pop its head upGrin

NotwhereIshouldbe · 07/03/2020 10:25

Congratulations! My tips would be don't be afraid to refuse visitors for the first few weeks, YOU need time to recover and bond with your baby.

Don't worry if you think you're holding your baby too much. Your baby has spent nine months in a lovely warm, secure environment and suddenly experiencing hunger, wind and cold, uncomfortable clothes! They need that security through you or your DHs touch.

Trust your mothering instincts and ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. It's your baby and you know him/her best!

Enjoy! You will be an amazing mamma 💕

GaaaaarlicBread · 07/03/2020 10:33

These are amazing tips thank you ! Xx

OP posts:
Annafs · 07/03/2020 12:16

I don’t have any tips to add as such as I’m in the same boat as you, now 17 weeks. We too have gotten a few cute outfits and have chosen the travel system we want. We’ve decided to wait until after the 20 week scan to order it and other big things like the cot etc.

I would just add to try not to expect your DH to know much just because of his job. I’m a children’s nurse and HV and have seen my colleagues with the same professional experience as myself, tie themselves in knots when it’s their baby! It’s a completely different ball game when it’s your own it seems and even the basic things you tell others at work are the things you forget lol.

PixieDustt · 07/03/2020 12:24

The biggest thing is make your voice heard. If you don't want visitors or you don't want someone to hold your baby etc than say it. Your opinion and your DH is all that matters. Who gives a toss if it upsets someone. It's your baby.

Secondly, only you and your DH truly know your baby. So if you think something is wrong or worried about something trust your gut instinct.

I brought my pram at about 24 weeks I think but you can buy stuff whenever you want to!

Don't let anyone tell you 'you hold your baby too much' you can never hold a baby too much!
And remember it's okay to take 5 minutes for yourself. If it means baby goes in the rocking chair so be it. You need 5 minutes too. Even if it is to get a drink.
Don't rush yourself to do anything after birth. Relax, put your feet up and enjoy all the newborn cuddles!

user1493413286 · 07/03/2020 12:27

My best bit of advice to remember that everything passes; so when it’s hard remember that it will pass and get better and when it’s good enjoy it too. Also try not to have certain expectations about how it will be and just go with how it is when the baby comes: I think our own expectations are often the cause of issues.

Bol87 · 07/03/2020 16:47

Agree with the above, remember - ‘this too will pass’.. throughout my DD’s life so far, there have been many difficult phases. Sleeping, wind, reflux, teething, tantrums, weaning.. but they all pass. You think you are never going to sleep again but you will. You think they’ll never stop trying to throw food at the cat/dog/wall but they do. You think they’ll have awful temper tantrums forever but they don’t. The most testing & exhausting times do pass (or at least ease up considerably). And inbetween there are the happiest & sunniest times!

Don’t have expectations of a perfect, calm, instagrammable life with a baby/child. It’s not like that most of the time. It’s tough but wonderful being a parent. Just go with the flow & enjoy your baby 🧡 Don’t compare them or yourself to others. Children develop at different rates & how you chose to parent is your decision. I see lots of advice above about not letting others visit or hold your baby etc.. and that’s great advice if it suits you. I personally was the opposite. I loved having people visit & to see my friends & family. It was lovely to chat, have a drink/cake & feel semi normal again! I felt quite spoilt & special those first couple weeks being doted on 😂 I was also perfectly happy for people to cuddle my newborn, meant I got some hands free time to eat a warm meal or drink a drink etc! But that’s just me. You must do what suits you Smile

And the best thing you can do now, go enjoy being a couple. Enjoy going out for dinner whenever you want. Go to the cinema. Go explore new places. Whatever you enjoy doing. One of the biggest shocks to my system was suddenly it’s not just the two of you with all the freedom in the world. You’ve now got to consider baby & their feeding/sleeping/needs. I felt quite trapped initially but things got better as I found my confidence with being a mum & actually leaving the house!

Ps. NCT was fab for me, lots of friends from it. And buy baby things whenever you want.. spread the cost I say! We bought stuff from 16 weeks all the way to 38/39!

SparkleUK · 07/03/2020 16:57

I'm a week in with my first baby 😊

Don't be afraid to speak your mind and put a stop to overbearing people who want to take your baby - you matter too! With that said, you might see another, more selfish side to people (or an amazing, helpful one) as in, the baby is all they care about and no care shown towards you, the person who's grown and birthed this baby

Don't push yourself to do too much after birth, remember what you've been through

Go with the flow, as long as their needs are met, that's what matters, don't feel pressure to be running the house like normal

Weird things might happen to your body after birth, I developed massive flippers and cankles I'd never had pregnant 😂

Communicate as much as possible with your OH, it's hard but so rewarding if you work as a team

Baby poo is literally biohazard material, you'll be fine, no matter how bad it looks 😂

GaaaaarlicBread · 07/03/2020 21:14

Thanks so much everyone ! Xx

OP posts:
Jesskir89 · 07/03/2020 22:44

I'm due with my first and can honestly say I've bought far too much! People buy you outfits and blankets etc so I would concentrate on the bigger things if I was you. Congrats BTW :)

georgialondon · 07/03/2020 22:56

Read about the 4th trimester. It will help.

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