Trigger warning....
I’m so sorry if this upsets anyone but I’m really struggling just now. Found out on sat that I’m pregnant after a mmc at 15 weeks in nov. I had medical management ( incomplete) then surgery, then an infection for 6 weeks. The care I received by hospital was awful and has since complained. I have had multiple scans for on going pain but nothing has been found. Have been having severe ovulation pains so try to avoid this time as didn’t feel ready but it has happened. I have no reason why our boy died so I’m some ways I guess that’s a positive but means there is nothing I can change this time around.
I have been struggling with my mental health and regularly have palpitations with anxiety. I must have done 20+ tests since sat and comparing them then googling why they aren’t any darker- I know is silly but am constantly worried. I started sertaline last week but has called my go today and he’s told me to stop as I must be feeling better. I’m not! He says just get through one day at a time but I feel like I’m drowning. I know that 15 weeks is still early but after a really difficult first trimester I was told everything was great, even when I lost all symptoms. I started to believe that everything would be fine and it wasn’t. How do I cope with this again!
I’m so sorry if this upsets anyone, really don’t want to do that. I am happy that I have been able to conceive because was worried that I had scarring that would prevent future pregnancy but I don’t know how to cope with the anxiety. I also don’t think I could cope with another loss😭