32 weeks and really struggling emotionally

[ncforthisthread81]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and am suddenly feeling completely overwhelmed. I seem to be bursting into tears once a day now for some reason or other, and am struggling to cope with everyday life and everything I have to do.

It feels like the birth is getting close and I'm starting to feel nervous about the birth itself - both the pain and just having to spend any length of time in a hospital, especially the postnatal ward, which I've heard horror stories about.

I've barely managed to get any stuff for the baby, firstly because work has been so busy and secondly because I've been so overwhelmed by all the different options and advice on offer. It seems for everyone who gives a positive review of a cot/pram/car seat there's always someone else who says it's rubbish for whatever reason and the brand they bought is so much better.

It seems like any little thing can set me off - the oven has broken this morning and I just feel so overwhelmed at having to search for a local tradesman, call them, deal with them coming round, getting it fixed and spending yet more money I barely have. Not to mention having to live without an oven until it's sorted.

Also, DH and I have been planning to start a family for a while and saved up really hard to buy our first home in the area I'm living now. A major reason for moving here was for the good primary school, but I've since been hearing that it has really gone downhill in the last year or so and isn't a happy place.

DH and I just couldn't afford to move again so soon (we're practically in negative equity and live in one of the cheapest parts of our town as it is) but I feel like I'm already giving my child a bad start in life because they'll be going to a school that isn't great. I wish private school was an option but financially it just won't be possible.

I don't feel like I can really talk to my midwife about how I'm feeling, because although she's perfectly nice we just don't "gel" very well for whatever reason and I find her difficult to talk to.

I'm sure this all sounds totally pathetic and I just need to pull myself together, but I'm really struggling to cope.

Oh bless you. I think as you move towards actually having a baby, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed! Suddenly it’s not about pregnancy, it’s about having a tiny human!

A few things to help maybe. Write a list of absolute essentials for you & your lifestyle. And do not stress about ‘the best’ pram or ‘best’ car seat. It’s about what suits you & things like car seats have to meet strict regulations. The best thing you can do with reviews is look at the overall rating. Stop believing the few bad reviews and assess the overall positives! If it’s got 4 stars from hundreds of reviews, you are OK!

With prams, unless you are needing it to go off roading, they really are much of a like! Just choose one you like & in your budget. Second hand is just as good.

Put some time aside on a couple weekends to really enjoy shopping for baby & getting ready. It’s such a lovely time with your first

Re-schools, you’ve got 4/5 years yet! Schools will change in that time as may your circumstances! Jobs may change, finances may changes, life could throw anything! And sometimes the odd word of mouth about schools can sometimes be very untruthful. It may just be an isolated issue with one or two parents/children that gets spread as gospel. But regardless, you’ve no idea what the school will be like 5 years down the line! You just cannot worry at this point! You’ll also always have the option of applying for other schools in local area. You are not fixed on one necessarily.

It’s natural to worry about labour & the pain but you’ll do it. Everyone does. Be open minded, accept pain relief if needed & try to just keep calm. You’ll be well looked after! And it’s OK in hospital, noisy, but the midwives are such a fantastic support. I pushed to leave last time but this time, I’ll be staying as long as they’ll have me 😂 I realised when I got home how nice having them on a buzzer for more pain relief, water, help with feeding, to ask my million questions to was.

Can you speak to your DH about all this? I find sometimes a real good cry & pouring it all out to my OH is so therapeutic. And my OH really helps with practical solutions, putting together plans of actions & will go above beyond to make sure I’m alright. But if not, maybe a GP if you can’t speak to your midwife? They will be able to signpost you to some mental health support hopefully!

Thanks so much for your reply - it really helped. I know I’m probably stressing too much about everything and need to relax.