Concerns about breastfeeding

[wondering7777]

I would really like to EBF my first but have some concerns:

1. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and have had no “leaky boobs” whatsoever. One of my nipples also looks a bit larger than the other one now - something that has happened during pregnancy. I worry that I physically won’t be able to BF, especially as there doesn’t appear to be any milk in there right now?

1. I don’t want to BF past the age of six months or a year tops. When is “normal” to stop BF? For me when a baby starts looking like a toddler I personally don’t want to BF anymore. But I’m worried my child will get too dependent on it and I won’t be able to stop.

1. If EBF I won’t be able to leave the baby with DH for longer than an hour or two at a time I believe. What if I want to go shopping, see friends or even go back to work earlier than planned?

1. I had no obvious signs of milk until my milk come in 3 days after my baby was born.

1. Entirely up to you when you stop. I am still bf so I havent been through this stage yet.

1. Get yourself a breast pump so you can get away for a few hours. I got a double electric one off Amazon for about £30 which has been brilliant. I also have the elvie pump but I havent got on well with that.

Your milk doesn't actually come in till a few days after birth. When the baby is born you produce tiny amounts of colostrum which is all the baby needs at that time.
Getting the latch right in the early days is really important for successful breastfeeding. If it's not right you are going to find out when your nipples are cracked and very very sore. So you might want to investigate more about how to attach the baby to the breast.
I think once you've had the baby your other concerns won't be a priority and you'll stop breastfeeding when you feel ready. You might not want to go out leaving the baby for long either.... Its funny how things change when the baby comes along

I didn’t ever have leaky boobs but my milk came through no problem so don’t worry about that.
You can breastfeed for whatever length of time you want; I stopped at 7 months whereas lots of people do it for longer or shorter. You’ll always have to wean them off but that’s the same with bottles; it was harder to get my DD to give up her bottle at 1 than it was to wean her off breastfeeding.
You can leave the baby for longer if you’ve pumped enough for that time; it does take a while to get yourself organised enough to do that but you’re unlikely to want to leave the baby early on anyway. I decided to use formula for those times as I found it simpler but I know lots of people who found it fine to express the odd feed

In terms of normal I’d say there’s no real normal but most people I know were only doing 1-2 feeds by a year due to weaning and returning to work and then over the next few months most stopped

1. This has no bearing on your ability to bf

1. What's normal doesn't matter, you wean when you decide to, 6months or 1year are both common stopping points though. By a year they should be on three meals anyway so won't need much milk anyway, and at 6 months they may start dropping feeds. You can also feed milk by cup then if they're reluctant to take a bottle. Of course your child will be dependent on it, but babies can also adapt quickly. It is important to stop gradually for your health as well.

1. You use a bottle of ebm or formula. You may need to express if you're gone for a long time, missing more than two feeds. If you go back early but they're taking solids you may not be day feeding anyway.

Im with you here OP!

Im 37 weeks so I can only offer you what I plan to do. I plan to EBF but need to go back to work at 6 months. I plan a combination of breast feeding and expressing then bottle feeding with the breast milk. My reasons behind the latter being that it'll give me some freedom to get out and about, but the baby will still get breast milk. Also he'll need to be weened from the breast (onto a bottle) at 6 months so he can be fed whilst im at work. I kind of reason that introducing a bottle early will save any potential drama when transitioning over at a later stage.

Of course, this could all go wrong, not work at all and I may end up doing something entirely different!

I also didn't have any signs of milk before, my milk came in on day 3 and then I was a bit leaky.

You can stop when you want to, I did it to just after a year with DS and will probably do the same with DD just so I can go straight to cow's milk.

I pump milk for when I go out. You can freeze it so at the moment I just have some in the freezer so if I pop out DH can defrost it straight from frozen and use. If I'm going out for longer I pump a bit a day beforehand. I went on a spa day when she was only a couple months and she was fine

I could have written this myself!
I'm nearly 32 weeks pregnant and like you have had no leaky breast at all.
My boobs haven't grown either during pregnancy but again like you one of my nipples is larger than the other.
I want to EBF too but again not sure how long for, i worry about him latching. Following this thread for more advice!

1. Means nothing. Don't worry at all about this.

1. There isn't really a 'normal' but lots of people can be judgemental about breastfeeding after 6 weeks/ 6 months / 1 year etc depending on their own hang ups. I personally BF mine for 6 months (DC1 mix fed and they decided they preferred bottles over BF around that point) and 20 months (DC2 had to go cold turkey as I felt I was done and wanted my body back).

1. This is true unfortunately for the first few months, in fact it's worse than that in the early weeks. But as they get older you can leave them for longer and longer. I went back to work when DC2 was 8 months old, they never had a single bottle of milk as they wouldn't ever take it and we all survived. I fed her before I left for work and again when I got back. As above I fed her until 20 months so it's perfectly possible work and BF.

What I would say is it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can try mix feeding and gave the best of both worlds. It doesn't work for everything but if I was going to have DC3 that's what I would try and do.

I didn't leak at all during pregnancy.
Make your mind up when to stop once you've actually started feeding. Who knows what decision you make. Regardless of when you stop there are steps to take so follow the guidance at whatever age you want to stop.
You can pump and feed from a bottle and when baby gets to 6+ they can (generally) go a nice stretch without BF so you can plan around that

1. Not a problem at all, as others have said.

1. My baby is around 6 months, and I know a few people transitioning to formula around now. Some wait till a year, when you can give cow's milk. Some reduce down to one breastfeed at night. Entirely up to you.

1. Take the baby with you, or let DH give a bottle of expressed milk or formula. By four months ish baby may go a bit longer - that was when lots of my friends started going out for three hours ish without the baby.

Good luck!

1. As others have said, this doesn't mean anything at this point.

1. Again, whatever you decide is fine. Mine stopped at 16 months, but from 10 months was only having one feed before bed. I had planned to stop at 12 months but in the end it continued a bit longer and I didn't mind as it was essentially just part of the bedtime routine.

1. Yes, at first (and perhaps for 3 months) it can be difficult to be away for more than a couple of hours. Pumping is an option, I used to pump daily and freeze to build up a stock that could be used if I did then want to go out with friends etc. But, the feeding does also space out over time and you get to a point where you might only be doing 3 or 4 feeds a day which makes things much more flexible.

My advice would be to give it a try if you're keen, keep open minded to the various options of ebf, expressing, mixed feeding etc. and absolutely insist that someone knowledgeable checks the latch is working in the early days.

1. Not a problem. Your milk doesn't come in til a few days after the birth. Before the birth you will have small amounts of colostrum, I never leaked but it was there when I hand expressed at the end of my pregnancy

1. Stop at any time you want. I've been breastfeeding for 5 months now, I plan to have stopped completely by the time I return to work at 9 months

1. I go out regularly for dinner etc, I leave bottles of expressed milk.

1. Like PP have said, this doesn't indicate anything about your supply. I had no leaking in both pregnancies and found it impossible to express colostrum after 37 weeks but produced lots of milk - so don't worry now. If you are planning to bf, make sure you know where to get help if you need in the first few days/weeks if you're struggling with latching or soreness - local breastfeeding support groups were really helpful for me. They can also give advice on how to stop breastfeeding (the general gist is: gradually drop the feeds to avoid mastitis).

1. You decide when you want to stop. It's your decision and you shouldn't care about what other people do or what "normal" is. It's also something you don't have to set in stone now - you can change your mind!

Just bear in mind if you stop before 1 year, you'll still need to supplement your baby's diet with formula.

1. It depends on baby's age, and your baby. I was away from home for 1.5 hours at a time from when baby was 4 weeks old. That was fine then. Later (3+ months), up to 3 hours was fine. I was EBF and not expressing - but you could always consider expressing or mixed feeding (ie giving formula along breastmilk) and then you can stay out way longer (I know you said EBF, but you could also consider mixed feeding, or just the odd bottle of formula every now and then as required).

When you start weaning ie 6 months plus, it depends on your baby but you can be away from them for extended periods of time. I went back to work at 7 months and baby went to the childminder from 9-6. At the beginning, we gave her a bottle and formula, and she'd feed baby in the afternoon (maybe 60ml or so, not much). From 9 months, the formula feed was completely dropped and baby would just breastfeed in the mornings and evenings (and night) from me.

I'm still breastfeeding my 18-month old (along with newborn) and it's been a positive experience - I found travelling (flying in particular) with a BF baby very easy and hassle-free, and BF is great for soothing (during/after vaccinations, teething or sickness, although she's only had a cold once and it was minor - I'm sure the antibodies in my breastmilk helped)

My boobs still haven’t leaked yet and I’ve been EBF for 6 months. Not used a single breast pad! I also can’t express anything worth storing but baby feeds fine.

You don’t have to decide in advance how long to feed for. I thought 6 months but am nowhere near wanting to stop and will probably go forever now

I can leave my baby for 2-3hrs now although I don’t often. If I could express it would be longer. You’ll be surprised how little you want to leave when they are here. I have a horse I thought I’d be back riding by now but I’m not.

Start of trying it out and see how it goes with no pressure. The first 6 weeks is brutal but after that it’s the easiest thing ever and enjoyable.

Thanks everyone!

@Megan 2018 can some women BF but not express then? I'd assumed that if could BF then expressing wouldn't be a problem.

If I do want to express, is a manual or electric pump best? How easy is it to do? Also, will I need some sort of sterilising machine for bottles (and anything else)?

The first 6 weeks is brutal but after that it’s the easiest thing ever and enjoyable.

Brutal as in painful?

No leaks or anything until my milk came in on day 5. It didn't matter to me as I wasn't breastfeeding.

Don't worry too much, I promise all these decisions will be easier once you have the baby.
The milk comes in after the birth. I myself always had a very small breast, didn't leak any milk before, and one of my nipples was not as 'out' as the other one. Breastfeeding was easy, not painful and fully successful for me.
About when to stop, that's up to you but I did at 15 months and the transition wasn't bad. I introduced food at 6/7 months, went back to work at 9 months (and baby was BF from 5pm to 8am, then formula given at nursery). After 12 months we switched to cow milk instead of formula at nursery and BF was just in the evening or for comfort. Then he gradually started having a bottle of milk in the evening and eventually I stopped offering the breast, but he never complained about it, it was quite gradual and natural for us. I miss breastfeeding and that very special bond, but he developed teeth and knew how to use them....I had literally no choice!

About not being able to leave baby, personally I never wanted to leave baby with anyone for more than few hours (wrong and not advisable, but it's just to say you don't know how you will feel afterwards). However, it did happen sometimes and DH did nights but I simply used an electric pump and he gave him the bottle.

My boobs don’t like pumps, tried various sorts. I get a dribble after about an hour so it’s just not worth the faff. Most people can but it’s not a given. I wouldn’t bother buying anything in advance, see if you get BF established first.

Not so much painful although I had sore as in sensitive (not damaged, cracked/bleeding) to start with. If you get nipple damage something is wrong with latch. Our latch was great but my nipples just objected to the constant feeding to start with and let down did blinking hurt too.

The brutal part was the cluster feeding, I had some spells of 11hrs of baby constantly on the boob which was exhausting and overwhelming. But I expected it and went with it and it was totally worth it. They feed and feed and feed on your deflated empty boobs and you wonder what in earth is going on. It’s part comfort and mostly necessary to create supply, but it is when people who don’t understand how BF works come unstuck and get into a panic about not enough milk, start topping up with formula and it all going wrong.

My NCT group are great, we are all EBF and are supporting each other. Our Whatsapp was crazy in those early weeks 24/7.

You need friends to support and check if you have a local BF support group. Ours has a physical meet up weekly and an active facebook group, they are a godsend. I also live in an area where MW and HV support BF brilliantly.

1. What happens pre birth is no indication of your ability to feed. 99 per cent of women can breastfeed their child with the right support - the beat thing you can do now is work out where your local bf support groups are and join a couple of Facebook support groups such as "Can I breastfeed it in?" These are full of women with years of experience who can help you though the early months.

1. That's not something you need to decide on now. I also felt strongly I didn't want to feed beyond 6 months, yet here I am still bf my 2.5 year old through a second pregnancy. Wait and see how it works out for the two of you. You can stop whenever it feels right for you.

1. You can express milk and go out for a while, no problem. Also, if you didn't feel like being separated, newborns are remarkably portable - bf shouldn't stop you getting out and about in the early months.

In short the best advice I can give for starting feeding is to just to keep going day by day and see how you feel. And never give up on a bad day x

PP have covered it all pretty well. It can take a good few days of pretty much constant feeding to get your milk in. Once it's there, you'll know!

I find an electric pump easiest, although neither of my kids have been great with a bottle. My DD never took a bottle, but from a few months was happy with a cup or just didn't bother.

I wanted to answer the brutal question. No lie, bf can be painful, but if it is, there's a reason. DD hurt, struggled through and later discovered a lip tie, which could've been easily resolved if I'd known what to look for and been proactive to ask. DS was a breeze, never a moments pain.

It is brutal from the perspective of the commitment in the early days. Cluster feeding to get your milk in, especially the 2nd / 3rd night can make you feel you'll never sleep again. But it passes. And after a few weeks, when it's settled, where you never have to get out of bed to make a feed, prepare a load of faff to go out, or sterilise anything, it all seems very worth it!

Great advice from @LimpLettice.

If it hurts like hell, get advice. My daughter had an undiagnosed posterior tongue tie ana I was in agony for about 9 weeks. It's totally possible to get through though.

If you do go back to work while still bf, it really doesnt take long for your body to learn a new pattern, be it only feeding early and late, or a mix of feeding and expressing.

Boobs are amazing!

@Megan2018 I'm jealous of your NCT group. Mine was, well, not so great. Most on bottles within a couple of months. Lots of pressure on me to drop bf if I as much as mentioned a problem/frustration. Also lots of chat about sleep training. Potty training before age 2. I had to just bite my lip as my parenting style was/is so different. It did mean I felt like I could never share worries.
I'm glad I ignored it all.
They have no idea I'm still feeling her at 2.5. Their minds would boggle.