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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Jealous that others have loved being pregnant

38 replies

GBBO45 · 03/03/2020 19:27

I am only 7+1 and my pregnancy has been one of the worst times of my life. I am permanently exhausted, nauseous, no appetite, stomach cramps, low mood and just generally feel awful. I spend all my days in bed with no energy just feeling miserable. I have heard several people say how much they loved being pregnant, and how they barely had any symptoms, and I feel so sad that this isn't the case for me. So much so that it makes me think there must be something wrong with my baby that I'm feeling so ill? I had a scan recently and everything is fine so it doesn't seem to be the case, but I can't help but feel really sad about my pregnancy experience in comparison to others. I guess this post was just a bit of a rant/moan really. Sorry for the negativity when I know I am extremely fortunate in many ways.

OP posts:

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LH1987 · 03/03/2020 19:31

Personally, I can't really see what there is to enjoy. I am very much looking forward to meeting my daughter, I already love her and am extremely grateful to be pregnant. However, I am tired, gassy, and have occasions of being very very low emotionally and even (I will admit it on this site but never to my husband) extremely grumpy. For me it is a period to get through and then get to the good bit. Not really helpful advice but wanted to let you know its not just you!

Chy23 · 03/03/2020 19:32

I hated being pregnant the last 2 times with my boys - I was so moody, in pain and exhausted, my first pregnancy was so easy I didn't even find out till I was 36 weeks. Each pregnancy is different and for as many people who love it there's as many people who find it tough

Bookworm83 · 03/03/2020 19:34

I don't think most people love their first trimester. I was permanently tired and nauseous all the time too. At my lowest point I vomitted 11 times in one day (after that I was put on anti sickness medication).

It does get better in the second trimester though! X

YellowOctonaut · 03/03/2020 19:34

Although there are some people who enjoy pregnancy, I think they are in the minority to be honest. Much more common not to love it!

oldestchild90s · 03/03/2020 19:35

Oh my gosh i totally understand, this is my first pregnancy and i thought it was all going to be sunshine and rainbows.. beautiful locks and glowing skin, the tiredness will fade and it will be a pleasurable experience. I have not enjoyed one bit of it, i'm now nearly 17 weeks and my hair is greasier than a chip pan, i have spots coming up everywhere and i could sleep for an eternity!

I don't think it has anything to do with the baby though, everyone is different!

Bexbug · 03/03/2020 19:36

I felt exactly the same as you for the first 12 weeks or so, I used to fall asleep at my desk at work, the smell from the habitual office Friday bacon sandwiches used to make me gag, everything and everybody irritated me, everything ached, I was tearful, spotty and miserable. At 13 or so weeks it all lifted and I felt so much better, appetite and energy returned and my hormones seemed to settle. The rest of my pregnancy went like a dream and I had a quick but painful birth. I hope the same happens for you. The fact you are having strong symptoms isn’t a bad thing at all.

Ninkanink · 03/03/2020 19:37

The first few months are tough for the vast majority, I think. I was sick multiple times daily for the first five months, with my first. I did feel very good once the sickness abated and enjoyed months six to eight (by nine months it’s hard to be comfortable).

It does really suck, and you have my deepest sympathy.

It’s good prep for parenthood, though - lots of people like to go on about that and how wonderful it is and how much they treasure every moment (and maybe some people really mean it) but the truth is for some people it’s a lot of really difficult, exhausting, relentless slog. Best not to have expectations of everything being absolutely fantastic.

I hope your symptoms ease soon and that you get to feel good again.

Pentium85 · 03/03/2020 19:39

I hated pregnancy.
Worst year of my life.
Sick so much I was hospitalised for 6 months straight and told multiple times I would die.
Hate hate hate.

But..... I love love love being a mum.

gingerbreaddragon · 03/03/2020 19:40

I hated the first 12 weeks but from about 18 weeks it was lovely. I was very lucky to be fit and well. I would have written your post at 7 weeks. I felt drained, sick and flat. Nothing was enjoyable. It did all change with time. You never know, it could for you. Many people who have few symptoms will be worried that something is wrong with their pregnancy.

Potplant · 03/03/2020 19:41

I hated it. I think I glowed for about 3 minutes. The rest of the time it was awful. I’ve never felt so ill.

But, you’re still really early days, you might find once you get past the first trimester you start to feel better and you’ll enjoy it more. Hang on in there, it’s worth it in the end.

Pyjamaface · 03/03/2020 19:43

I hated being pregnant. Migraines so bad I was convinced I was dying, utter exhaustion, puking every time I ate or drank and hormonal rage so bad I'm surprised DP came within 3 miles of me - I hated him with every fibre of my being at least half of every week 🤦‍♀️
I have not repeated the experience

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/03/2020 19:44

Sounds exactly like my pregnancies.

The only thing that kept me going was the baby at the end.

I also slipped a disc during my first pregnancy and was hobbling around with a Zimmer frame for the next 7 years until I went private and was given an actual diagnosis.

I did lose 2 stone during my first pregnancy by throwing up everything I ate.
If it went down it came up 5 minutes later.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 03/03/2020 19:45

I have HG and I've hated every second. Some days I go to bed extra early just so I dont have to be awake 🙃

What pisses me off most when people who have the perfect glowing pregnancy say "pregnancy is the easy part you wait until the baby is here" - fuck off Susan 🙃

MsChatterbox · 03/03/2020 19:46

The thing is most people forget how bad their first trimester was. It was only when I was pregnant with my second, head over the toilet, that I remembered I vowed never to do this again when my head was over the toilet in first pregnancy. But even now I will say I love being pregnant. Because I love the majority of it post first trimester!

peachgreen · 03/03/2020 19:48

I felt like absolute shit for the first 14 weeks (peaking in awfulness at week 8) and then loved every minute thereafter. For the vast majority of women it gets much easier after the first trimester - hang on in there!

lettersbyowl · 03/03/2020 19:52

I'm nearly 28 weeks. I haven't enjoyed pregnancy, for the most part. I felt physically awful to begin with and my mental health has also been impacted with high anxiety. Physically I felt much better as I moved further into second trimester, mentally I stayed about the same until a couple of weeks ago. Until I started to speak to people about hating the experience I didn't realise how many people also hate it, for some or all of it!!! It's very normal. However there have been some lovely moments, and it is great sometimes feeling her cuddle. There's a thread in chat right now about people who loved the newborn stage, and it's worth a read. It's made me realise how much I'm looking forward to meeting my baby, and that this stage will pass. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and remember that it's YOUR experience. Don't feel pressured into feeling one way or the other about it, it is what it is as you experience it!

Giveusthesummer · 03/03/2020 19:55

Hated every second of it, due to sickness. Won’t be doing it again

ShirleyPhallus · 03/03/2020 19:57

You will 100% feel better I promise

But being pregnant hasn’t been fun for me. I’m still waiting on the magical glow which has been interrupted by headaches, nausea, feeling heavy, losing sense of self etc etc etc.

Hang in there though cos 1st trimester is the worst

Greenmarmalade · 03/03/2020 20:00

I hate the first 16 weeks (sickness, nausea, exhaustion) but love it afterwards.
There’s no ‘fair’ with pregnancy, birth and babies. Everyone gets what they get and it makes you feel worse to compare.

Betsyboo87 · 03/03/2020 20:03

Another one who isn’t enjoying it. The first trimester was horrendous for me both mentally (anxiety) and physically. I didn’t think it would get any better and I knew there was no way I could do 9 months of that.

The second trimester has been much better so far (23 weeks). I’m still not enjoying it but I’m ok and can cope with it. The one thing that has made a huge difference is feeling him move so much. I love lying with my hand on my bump every night and feeling this. I was so worried my pregnancy experience would make it hard to bond with him so this is really reassuring.

knightlight · 03/03/2020 20:05

Up until 12 weeks I was utterly exhausted and would just come home from work and get into bed at 7pm.

Got to 12 weeks and it was like a switch and suddenly I had lots of energy, barely had to ever wash my hair and felt great most of the time (aside from heartburn at night time most nights).

Hang on in there and remember there is a lovely little baby at the end

IslayBrigid · 03/03/2020 20:17

Op I relate ! I am 14 weeks and stuff feeling rubbish much of the time. Sickness and vommitting peaked week 10-13 but I've felt rough since 6 weeks. emotionally it was bad till 10 weeks. It's been a rollercoaster that's for sure. I'm now pretty happy and not feeling low except for when I lack motivation coz of feeling sick.
I'm jealous of these people who say it ended like a switch being flicked at 12/13 weeks! Tho it definitely has been slowly getting better so can only hope.
I am thinking by 16/17 weeks surely it'll be better.
Good luck and hang in there. It's very normal to feel awful and hate first trimester xx

Quiffy · 03/03/2020 20:20

This thread is wonderful. I’ve been feeling miserable because I’m miserable (especially when I REALLY want to be pregnant for the baby at the end). Everything is a struggle though, so glad not to feel alone.

Babyfg · 03/03/2020 20:44

People who enjoy pregnancy are in the minority.

I loved being pregnant from about 14 weeks. I was more achy and tired than not being pregnant but I loved having them in my belly. I loved feeling them move and shopping for baby bits and knowing they were safe inside me. I loved how I looked with a bump. It makes me gooey inside thinking about it (you may use the sick bucket now!).
However
I never had sickness or spd or high risk pregnancies or low laying placentas or the hundred other things that take it out of mothers to be. If I did it would be a different case and would suck the joy out of the most positive person. And the first 12 weeks is hard (and I loved being pregnant!)

But I did very nearly die in one of my labours and i still don't think I'm fully recovered from it four years later.... so it's totally swings and roundabouts. And I hate the new born stage, we're as others loved it! Different courses for different horses!

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 03/03/2020 21:23

20 weeks here and I'm having more good days than bad days now. But the first trimester is simply hell on earth. I took meds for the sickness and still felt bad.

It does get better, slowly. I'm looking forward to getting it over with I must admit. It's nice when you start feeling the kicks and getting a bump. Hold tight, you'll feel better soon enough x

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