Partner Freaking Out

[unh111]

Hi, it's my first post so not sure I am doing this right! :-)
I am so so upset and frustrated with my partner. We were due to start IVF and literally the week I was due to start injections I found out I was pregnant!! Now my partner is freaking out and doesn't want a baby! He doesn't really communicate with me and is acting really cold. I know he is stressed as he is not sleeping.
To also set context, I had a miscarriage last year at 6 weeks pregnant, so clearly I am anxious. I also feel so so sick with morning sickness and can hardly move from my bed to the bathroom. So it's just so hard right now.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Xx

It sounds like you have been trying for some time if you were due to start IVF. I think it can be normal to think 'oh my god what have I done' when you find out/your partner tells you that you will be having a baby, no matter how much you wanted it in the first place. Hopefully it is just the initial shock and it will wear off. I know I wanted a baby so, so badly and when I found out I burst into tears and was terrified! Even thought at one point that I shouldn't have it! Which is not how I feel about it at all, but sometimes the fear of the future and the unknown and all the changes that will take place can cause you to backtrack a bit to a place where you feel safe and comfortable. My partner was really happy at first, but then he went through about a month of being really worried about whether he could be a father etc. We went for a scan and as soon as we saw the little bean we were excited and all those fears went to the back of our minds.

Perhaps just give him some space and time and he will be OK after a while.

We had 2 MCs before falling with this rainbow. My partner really struggled with the 2nd and this pregnancy to begin with because he was so anxious and didn’t want to ‘put that on me’ as he knew I was really anxious too. Could that be something that your partner is experiencing? I can also imagine that it would’ve been a very unexpected shock to him (and you!) if you were about to start IVF so there may be a degree of that playing a role too?

Echo above, space and time worked wonders and my fiancé is now besotted with the bump and movements and the fact we will meet our little boy in 2 weeks.

Congratulations on the pregnancy, I hope it is a sticky rainbow for you

Thank you so much @UrsulaSings and @Keyboard91 .

I'll give him some space and hopefully he will come round. I have our first scan on Monday at 6w 5d and praying for a heart beat this time! I haven't told him yet.. as don't want to give him too long to think about it and freak out! Xxx

Congratulations OP. Just wanted to say that I also have a scan on Monday at what I think may also be 6+5 I had a mc last year and have been spotting throughout this already - so Monday can't come quick enough.

@LittleBrownBaby wow congrats to you!

Fingers and toes are crossed that we both have good news on Monday! A big day for both of us xxx

Thank you! And you. And I hope things settle down with your husband.

Partner, sorry!