Hiya,
I’v been with my boyfriend for just over a year, and recently found I am pregnant (an accident). His reaction was to tell me that he doesn’t want a baby and thinks he is too old (he’s 56). I’ve been really stuck for work since moving to be near my boyfriend and am struggling to get my money back from my ex husband. I came from a very unstable home and got married at 18 despite not being in love with him, staying with him for 8 years, during which he took control of all my income, meaning I now have nothing and am trying to get some money back as we get divorced. He also has my 3 year old little boy, and I currently only get to see him 6 days a month. All of this, the lack of income, lack of job, not being able to see my son, has made my sense of purpose and mental health suffer, and lead to a relapse in self-harming.
My boyfriend is in a well paid job, and could afford for us to have a baby and would be able to contribute once I got my divorce settlement, and again after the baby was born, once I went back to work. I am in love with my boyfriend so deeply, in a way I never felt about my ex husband.
He is amazing with my three year old son who he loves spending time with, and would be such a good father. He’s really young for his age and is in perfect health.
I feel that if I abort the baby I will feel really heartbroken that the chance of us having a child together is gone, probably for good. He has said that he doesn’t know what would happen to our relationship if I decide to keep the baby.
Since finding out I am pregnant I feel a sense of calm and purpose in my life that I haven’t felt for a long time. Perhaps its the hormones, but I keep thinking about about how complete my life would feel having a child with the man I love and giving my son a little brother or sister.
Do you think he will come around to the idea or should I have an abortion and deal with further internal heartache and pain.
Either way I think I am going to be heartbroken. Any new perspectives on this would be really helpful.