15 weeks and pushing everyone away

[Jg93x]

Hey, so I’m not sure what’s really wrong with me but I feel like I’m basically becoming a recluse.

I’ve suffered with bad sickness and was told last week I had hyperemesis after being hospitalised.

I’ve barely seen anyone since I found out I was pregnant in December. I’ve seen none of my friends, just my family. And I haven’t even seen much of my family as I’ve just felt too exhausted.

I feel like now because I’ve felt so sick, it has set off my anxiety massively and I’m now totally avoiding people. I’m scared to go out and see anyone in case I feel or be sick. The thought of making plans makes me panic so I end up cancelling, I’m scared to drive my car in case I need to stop to be sick. I don’t want anyone to come over and I just want to be alone and lie in bed.

At the same time though I’m so bored and lonely and sick of feeling so ill. I’m currently off work due to the sickness so I’m basically alone all day until my partner gets home.

I suffered with depression quite badly up until around 4 years ago, since then I’ve been okay but I’m worried it’s starting again as I just don’t feel right. I don’t really feel depressed just kind of flat if that makes sense.

Has anyone else been like this? Did it get better when the sickness improved? I’m really struggling at the moment.

@jg93x I sympathise with you OP. I suffered terrible with depression in first trimester as I just wasn't expecting the sickness to be sad bad. As a FTM nobody really tells you just how bad it was and I honestly felt like I couldn't deal with it which sounds so dramatic but I honestly just kept praying it would
Go away and then I'd feel so bad on the baby and then I'd get really bad depression thinking I was a bad person for having these thoughts.

I pushed everyone away too, I was angry at my family and my partner because I felt like they didn't understand and they thought I was been lazy or dramatic.

But it honestly does get better! I'm 17 weeks now and although the sickness hasn't completely gone away I feel so much better than I did in 1st trimester! I can actually go out and enjoy a nice meal every now and then. I still feel like crap but my depression has eased and my partner said it's nice to see me smiling again xxx

I felt like that with sickness in pregnancy. I normally call my mum every day and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone, just wanted to wallow. Maybe find some good box sets to push you through? I also found going back to work helped because I was forced to make effort, and this seemed to help me out of my silence. I found the feeling had completely lifted once the sickness improved. Hope it does for you too.