My Mum is driving me mad!

[mumclaire]

I'm 16wks pg with dc2 and my mother is driving me absolutely insane with her opinion on what I should do. I had a really long labour with dd1 which ended in an emergency c-section. I then breastfed her for 7 mths afterwards (topping up with fomula at night). I really want to try for a vbac this time as I felt I missed out last time but my mum keeps going on and on about how she thinks it would be better to have an elective c-section (thinks its easier and safer!) - normally I can brush this off but she won't let it go and even took dh aside at the weekend to try and persuade him to talk me round. She then started going on about how I might not be able to breastfeed so I should use formula from the beginning!!! I had none of this when I had dd1 and i cannot take another 6 months of this. Please help - how can resolve this without hurting my mum and me going round the bend!!

Just tell her how you feel, and that you and DH have discussed your options and feel a vbac would be good for you both.

But I have! til we are both blue in the face and its not getting through!!! It is quite literally everytime I speak to her even my brothers have told her to mind her own business but she just says that I'm her daughter and she wants the right thing for me - which is lovely but I'm fed up of the pressure..

Sorry you feel your mom is putting pressure on you about how you should labour,deliver and feed your DC.
No other Advise other than just sit her down again with a cuppa and explain that its lovely that shes so concerned about you etc but you need to make your own decisions.

((Hugs))

I guess try to understand what is causing her fussing (she's just worried) and then explain to her that you and dh have made the decision and that you really need her to support you in carrying it out. Explain too, perhaps, that you are pleased that she wants to be involved but that her constant worry is placing strain upon you at a tme when you need it least.

If it helps I recently had this conversation with my mother. She was fretting endlessly about my feeling sick or tired or achey...even though it is just part n parcel of being pregnant. It drove me nuts, to the point that even when there was nothing to worry about she made me worry! She even started to doubt if my midwife and consultant knew what they were talking about!So I gently took her to one side, told her that I'm glad that she's our my side but that she needs to reel it all in a bit. I explained that it is important to us that we do things our way (mine and dh's) and that she'd be much more helpful if she just helped to make our wishes happen. I also told her that I understand her worrying but that it's just causing stress when we should all be enjoying this special time. Oh, and I ended by saying that I really appreciate her opinions and advice but that she should appreciate that there may be days when we just don't want to listen!

Luckily, we are close so I could say this to her. It's worked a treat though and she now understands that her fretting was doing more harm than the good that she intended.

Gawd, I hope this helps. Pardon the ramble!

Sx

My ma said the same thing! All the stuff about 'when your baby is born you'll be the same as me, worrying al the time'. Can't you just tell her that if she wanted the right thing for you, she'd give you the space to do what you believe is best? And why not top it of by saying that your midwife agrees that your decision is fine? She can hardly argue with xpert mdical opinion. ER, can she?

Sx