Told my best friend I’m pregnant, now we don’t talk...

[Emma2503]

I had the gruelling task of telling my best friend I was pregnant and due before her wedding, I was MOH and telling her broke my heart. I reassured her and told her I’d do everything up until the point I couldn’t and I wanted to try and still be at the wedding.

Naturally in the beginning she was shocked and had to take time to think about it, which I fully respected and after time, we started speaking again, but she turned quite spiteful (whether she knows or not) and started bitching about one of her other pregnant friends who now can’t attend her hen party, she’s also started talking down to me and putting more stress and pressure on me because she’s been told she shouldn’t be stressed with the wedding.

We’ve now hit a point where we just don’t talk, I’ve grown bored of the way she was talking to me and I guess she’s run out of negative things to say to me.

Obviously I don’t want to lose our friendship but this has got me wondering if she was even a friend to begin with. Has anyone been through similar?

MisssC3025

How has the op considered the bride though? Has she already bought the moh dress for example? You say they should support each other but it's not really supporting the bride is it?

If you are planning to conceive why not just decline the invitation to be MOH?

Im confused as to why you have to support a bride?? What for!!! Being pregnant can be the hardest time for a woman and her body.

Its bizarre and selfcentred to think your wedding day really matters to anyone else but you. I certainly wouldnt expect anyone to put their life on hold just for one day.

My best friend has booked her wedding last minute and I'm going to be 36 weeks, she knew I was pregnant when she booked it so I never had to actually break the news. I've planned the hen do and will go to as much as I can and am just hoping I don't go into labour before the wedding! I'm a bit worried about the bridesmaid dress but I'll just have to get it adjusted if it doesn't fit.

I have noticed she isn't in contact as much at the moment but I know she is busy planning a wedding so just trying to not let it bother me. It's so difficult and can sympathise, hope things get better soon and you can enjoy your pregnancy.

I don't think my wedding day should have mattered to anyone else. I do think though that if you agree to something and that involves other people incurring costs then it is rude in the extreme to just cancel.

At the very least the moh should be offering to reimburse the cost of her dress etc. Of course, if nothing has yet been bought then that's a different matter.

I am going to be MOH for my sister in June when I will be 7.5 months pregnant, and even after two MC herself she has been so supportive, looking at maternity dresses and making plans for alterations should it need them depending on how big I go. she is doing this Because she loves me, and because my baby is mega important, your 'friend' should be doing the same. I'm so sorry for you but pregnancy does show who your real friends are and I don't think it sounds like she is one! I would have a frank conversation with her and give her a chance to address it and if it's no better 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

I find this all quite bizarre. I've had friends miss my wedding/hen do due to small babies and late pregnancy. I've missed friends hen dos (and possibly a wedding, dependent on timing) due to my own pregnancy. Most of my friends have experienced similar. Other friends have similarly missed out due to other personal circumstances and/or choices like moving abroad. No-one fell out or thought the other person was being terribly unreasonable. No-one stopped TTC to fit around people's hen dos and weddings. You just get on with life and make the best of it if something clashes. Yes, sometimes it was a bit of a shame, but oh well. Neither the pregnancy or wedding trumps the other. Personally I think I would have taken a step back from being MOH when I realised I might struggle to make it because that does put a bit more pressure on. The fact that this is causing such a rift in your friendship would make me question it.

Good friends are happy when their friends have good news.

Twats just think of the impact their friend's news has on themselves.

I'm sorry you've found out that your friend is a twat.

I can't believe your best friend was HEARTBROKEN that you are going to be pregnant at the wedding... Also being pregnant (obviously a healthy pregnancy with no complications) really shouldn't stop you from attending a wedding surely? I was a nurse when I was pregnant, worked right up until 38 weeks full time 10 hours shifts. Unless the wedding is abroad then there's really nothing stopping you AFAICS