Dismissive midwife

[Avearage]

So this isn't me being nasty about my midwife x
She has seen me through my 3 babies before and we got on fine, but I built enough courage to mention that after sex I've been bleeding........ And the only thing she said was well you know what to do don't do it so I'm a pretty laid back person on the outside so I guess it was said in jest? But was actually really unhelpful because I'm only 10 weeks and guessing if she did actually mean stop she would of said it in a much more professional manner as in the whole pregnancy or even till a certain date...
I feel so stupid mentioning it now but we did have sex again tmi but nothing extreme or extraordinary..... I'm sure he feels diff but again after bleeding slightly more this time quickly stopped I'm reassured because this has been happening even before I was pregnant and I should have it checked out but haven't .
But the midwife didn't know that information she didn't give me any time to tell her!!

Make an appointment with your GP and explain that you’ve had the bleeding before and during pregnancy and see what they say.

This is in my to do list...... Ridiculous but feel embarrassed by it all x

Definitely get it checked out by your GP as it was happening before you were pregnant too

I will..... Just need to build up the confidence

Instead of searching the Internet finding tails of doom

I wasn’t pregnant but I had bleeding after sex. Had investigations and they couldn’t find anything wrong

Don't keep having sex till you've seen your GP - it could be all sorts of things, but you'd be reckless to risk your baby over this.

Tough one - I can see you were looking for more support from her perhaps reassurance that it's fine/normal/it happens but at the same time she doesn't know this was happening before pregnancy so you've got to cut her some slack there - she is right in saying that if you don't want to have to worry about it then abstain until you are a little further along...

I would go and speak to the GP anyway however they can't do any kind of smears etc during pregnancy so you'd have to wait another 7 months anyway x

Bleeding after sex when not pregnant definitely should be investigated so if it’s been going on for that long I would make an appointment to see your GP.

PS. As PP said they won’t do a smear in pregnancy but a smear is just a screening test so wouldn’t be helpful anyway. They can refer you for colposcopy (examination of the cervix with a special camera) if they feel it needs looking into.

The thing is I don't want to go making a fuss if there's nothing obviously nothing is the best reason.... But I feel daft before I even go..... Obviously need to just get over myself and do something about it x

Bleeding after sex sometimes in pregnancy is fairly normal but it is not normal if you are not pregnant so you definitely need to go to the doctors ASAP x

it is not normal if you are not pregnant

It's completely normal if you have a cervical erosion/ectropion which is often the cause of bleeding after sex and experienced by many women but not often spoken about.

That's not to say that you shouldn't get it checked out (you should) but it's also very very normal and most likely nothing to worry about if that's what it is.

Is very common in women who have been using hormonal contraceptives for a long time.

Sorry if my message came across the wrong way, I just meant that it shouldn’t be completely ignored if it happened before pregnancy and should just be mentioned to the doctor to make sure it’s nothing serious that’s all, as the NHS guidelines are to see your doctor if you experience any bleeding after sex.

No it's right I should go..... I just feel like an idiot going and I know I shouldn't... But I can't think of anything worse than being poked and prodded down there only through embarasment really.... I think I will put big girl pants on and make appointment, trying to get a female Dr is also like gold dust x

Honestly, the doctor will have heard a lot worse things than just bleeding after sex. There is nothing to be embarrassed about at all! That's pretty run of the mill stuff, nothing special. But important health-wise.

Also, I don't take or haven't in past taken any hormonal contraception, tmi but the last smear they said I had a slight collapse of vaginal wall wondering it this could be the cause.....

Definitely see a gp since it’s happened before. If midwife didn’t check I’d ask for a thrush swab too, mine only came on after sex when pregnant and caused bleeding.. midwife and doctor couldn’t explain the bleeding side and treating dp made no difference, but obviously the easiest answer was to avoid sex in the first place. Well p in v atleast... my midwife was quite ballsy and I joked that dp might not be best pleased as I wasn’t far on time wise n she told me to send him in n she’d tell him off for me

I get it as well before I was pregnanct too and now am pregnant they have discovered I have a heart shaped womb. So maybe get a scan and they will be able to see as it changes your pregnancy a bit :) xx

Wow that's cute too though xx

I mentioned again to another midwife she said to speak with consultant as they want to start me on blood thinners too so may be an issuenx hoping it's sorted soon though x

Nothing to be embarrassed about, this is something midwives and doctors hear and see all the time. The midwife shouldn't be dismissive about it. It's a very valid concern and every pregnancy bleeding should be reported and checked!

When I started bleeding after sex and orgasm the night before my 12 week scan (gushing, fresh red blood, like a period!), I was instructed not to have sex for a few weeks and not to contact the midwife if it happens again. Instead, I should contact the gynae ward/early pregnancy assessment unit right away and do an emergency scan. So I did. After that initial bleed, it kept happening again even though we stopped with sex and any activities. Almost 15 weeks now and waiting for a check-up scan and cervical exam in a few days.

It can be nothing serious, like a bit of cervical erosion, it can be a haematoma on the placenta, or even a sign of more serious problems with your cervix (incompetent cervix, polyps, cell changes etc). In any case it should be checked so they can establish the cause and whether you need any treatment.

This surely has 0 to do with your pregnancy if it was happening before you were pregnant?

You'd be better off making an. App with your GP than discussing it with a midwife.

Take your courage and go to the GP, he/she won't eat you. Promise.