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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Struggling with Growing Bump and Changing Shape

12 replies

clairey259 · 20/02/2020 13:13

I'm really struggling with my changing shape whilst growing my little one. I'm absolutely over the moon to be pregnant, and have wanted this for such a long time. I have an incredibly supportive other half, he's absolutely amazing.

I'm just really mentally struggling with feeling "fat" at the moment. I feel absolutely huge at the moment, am 23 weeks pregnant, with no real significant bump, just an ever expanding bottom, thighs and love handles. I am exercising and walking, and am a relatively active person, but I just feel so overweight.

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KahlanRahl · 20/02/2020 13:16

You're not fat, you're pregnant. You are in a natural state, we just don't show it enough in the media etc. and I think that that makes it more difficult for us to accept it.

But if you really can't embrace it then keep in mind that it's temporary.

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clairey259 · 20/02/2020 13:19

Thank you KahlanRahl, I keep telling myself that, but still can't shake the feeling.

Like you say, it's really hard when the media just show all of these gorgeously slim and toned women, and not the actual reality of what happens to us when we're carrying our precious cargo.

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BecauseReasons · 20/02/2020 13:21

I hear you, op. I am a whale. But have no excuse, because I'm only 7 weeks in and therefore must blame myself. My stomach truly looks ridiculous. You are probably clearly pregnant to the outside world. And at least putting it on all over means you probably won't get lots of excess stomach skin afterwards.

I tend to just banish mirrors.

user1493413286 · 20/02/2020 13:22

I really struggle with this and everyone just says to me well you’re pregnant which doesn’t help; i would say though that in my second trimester I put on weight as I was just so hungry and everything bad went to my legs but during the third trimester I lost some of it as I wasn’t as hungry and couldn’t eat so much due to baby pressing on my tummy. I try to just find clothes that are as flattering to me as possible and hold in mind that it’s temporary and I can lose any weight after (although with my first it fell off from breastfeeding anyway)

NameChange30 · 20/02/2020 13:22

I put on a lot of weight when I was pregnant with DS1. The sheer speed of changes to my body was really overwhelming. I felt my body wasn't my own. I remember having a meltdown one morning because I didn't know WTF to wear, I didn't have a big enough bump for maternity clothes yet but my regular clothes didn't fit me or at least not comfortably.

It sucks. Being pregnant places massive demands on your body. It will pass eventually but in the meantime, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to one or two new items that fit well and comfortably (they don't have to be expensive).

sel2223 · 20/02/2020 14:02

I am 15 weeks and literally look and feel like a whale....it's not so much my stomach (which is just starting to show a cute little bump), it's more the rest of me.
Everything is just wider and rounder!
I've definitely put weight on around my bum, thighs and hope which is always my problem area and I've acquired a fatty pubic area. I just generally look fat rather than pregnant to be honest and I hate it.
I'm finding myself hiding my body from OH as I'm really embarrassed about it (he says I look beautiful and he loves my changing shape but I don't believe him lol).

sel2223 · 20/02/2020 14:03

*hips not hope

squashie34 · 20/02/2020 14:28

Completely with you on this.. I had a cry in front of the mirror last night because I feel like I just look like a potato.. I have the tiniest beginnings of what looks like a bump rather than a bloat now (I'm 16 weeks) but I'm just generally rounder, love handles are now there and I've gone up from a 32E to a 32J already which I think looks ridiculous on my once size 6 frame. I'll be tucking them into my pants soon...

Maternity clothes make me look like I'm ready to fire out baby any minute and normal clothes just made me look like that person who won't admit to themselves they should have bought the item 2 dress sizes bigger

Basically what I'm trying to say if you're honestly not on your own with feeling this way!! It doesn't help when on social media 'celebs' who are currently pregnant still look exactly as they did before just with a round, nice bump!

ejmay90 · 20/02/2020 14:35

I feel exactly the same, i'm 30 weeks and feel like a whale!
It's also something i've wanted for a long time and had a miscarriage last year so happier than ever that i'm pregnant again.
Like you i have a supportive partner who tells me i'm pregnant and it's beautiful and not fat but before i got pregnant i went to the gym lifting weights 6 days a week. I was finally getting to where i wanted to be and now i feel i'm back to square one, my thighs, hips and bum have expanded just like you.

I am trying to learn to love my body as it's growing a human, but i don't feel i will be fully happy with it until i give birth. Mentally it's a struggle to see the changes, especially when everyone just keeps saying 'your pregnant'. I also don't think it helps when you look for maternity clothes it's a tall skinny model with a foam bump, this isn't reality!

WomanIsTaken · 20/02/2020 14:52

This makes me want to hug you all. It seems such a pity to have worry about physical appearance during your pregnancy. Is gaining a bit of weight really so shameful? If you breastfeed, it'll melt off sooo quickly, and help you tone back up again post partum. And even if you don't, meh, you are so much more than some extra pounds; you are amazing women blossoming with life at the start of the adventure of a lifetime! You are the sum of your wisdom and experiences, your loves and passions; your energy is about to be totally transformed, and you are about to be the primary transformative source of all goodness in the life of another human being: incredible! Congratulations

MissyGirl29 · 20/02/2020 14:58

@clairey259 Im so with you on this!! sorry you're feeling this way, Im 16 weeks and feel horrible - i've also been told i have body dysmorphia which doesnt help situation, I would just like someone to tell us that all this weight is because of the baby and im not letting myself go because i think its acceptable (thats what my brain is telling me) - also why cant weight just be gained around the stomach where the baby actually is rather than in my chin and now dropping arse -_- hopefully our 'glow' will come soon :) atleast we all feel the same things together which is welcoming! xx

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clairey259 · 20/02/2020 15:34

Thank you all for your responses. I'm glad I'm not alone. I feel awful for feeling this way, almost guilty.

It does feel shameful, and like some of you have mentioned it's almost like I'm letting myself go because I can, but in reality, I'm not. I'm eating better than I ever have to give my growing little bean the right nutrients and healthy bits, and I'm still exercising. Granted that I've stopped the running, but this was on the advice of my midwife and consultant (I also suffer with Rheumatoid Arthritis - which has been amazingly non-existent during pregnancy).

I just feel horrendous, and don't want to look at myself in the mirror, for fear of having a crisis of sorts.

Thank you all for your kind words and making me feel like I'm not being completely unreasonable and stupid.

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