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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Husband working away at 37 weeks is this ok ?

22 replies

KHall84 · 19/02/2020 17:17

My husband has a work event an evening thing 2hrs away so would be staying over but gone thur day and night back around 6pm fri this will be my 2nd pregnancy and I will be 37weeks+4 do you think am being unreasonable at saying he cant attend in case I go into labour early ? As he would be 2hrs away and would be drinking so means he coukdnt drive back if I did go into early labour as I went on my due date last time and I feel like I might go early this time gut feeling or am I being unreasonable? Thanks

OP posts:

Flipflops23 · 19/02/2020 17:21

My first came on her due date, my second was late. Could you compromise by your husband going but not drinking. There are lots of good alcohol free beers on the market now.

Catlover10 · 19/02/2020 17:23

I think it’s a little bit harsh when it’s only for one night, is there nobody else you have as backup just incase? Or a taxi? It’s quite unlikely to come that early though so you should be fine.

Original poster

KHall84 · 19/02/2020 17:26

@flipflops23 I would do that but I know what he is like and would be easily persuaded to have a drink and not think about the wjat if I went into labour so it has to be either he goes and drinks or not, I had already said no working away from 37 weeks as he would have to get train when he dies as I need car x

OP posts:

DelphiniumBlue · 19/02/2020 17:28

Childbirth is not predictable, and of course you going into labour at 37 weeks plus is within the realms of possibility. Not that it's relevant to your individual situation, but all mine were born between 37 and 37.4 weeks.
Your gut feeling is quite likely to right, but even if you ignore that, going into labour at that point is likely enough for there to need to be a plan.
If your husband is away, what is he proposing to do if you go into labour?
2 hours away isn't so far, although some babies are born in less than 2 hours ( 2 of mine were), but chances are he could get back in time if he wasn't drinking.
If it's actually work, then he should probably go but not drink. If it's work related jollies, then that's different and he should probably not risk missing the birth of his child.

Original poster

KHall84 · 19/02/2020 17:29

@Catlover10 thanks for your reply, I have my mum but again she is 50mins away and she would have to have my little boy so then I would be on my own if I did indeed go early if it was local I woukdnt have much of a problem with it but am just thinking if I go and its middle of night he would have to wait until morning to get train back x

OP posts:

DelphiniumBlue · 19/02/2020 17:30

And who gets drunk at work? this is almost certainly a jolly rather than work, isn't it?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 19/02/2020 17:33

Id just make it clear to him that if the baby comes and he's away he may miss things, and leave the decision up to him.

mybabyisteething · 19/02/2020 17:33

My husband had to go away for 3 nights with work when our third was due, i was nearly 39 weeks when he went... he was an 8hr drive away!

On the second night, i started to lose bits of my plug and i was terrified that I'd go into labour without him here.

I had been adamant throughout that i was going to be early. But in the end DS was 10 days late!

I hope everything goes okay!

recordbox · 19/02/2020 17:35

One evening event that takes all day Thursday and he isn't home until the Friday night? And the location is only 2 hours away?

Not ok imo.

Lllot5 · 19/02/2020 17:39

I sure it’ll be fine. I wouldn’t worry. Having said that all mine were late.
Sod’s Law if he doesn’t go you’ll be late if he does you’ll be early.

Flipflops23 · 19/02/2020 17:42

I guess you both just need to decide if what he is getting out of it would be worth the potential risk of missing the birth of his child. Do you have any Mum friends you could call on or a neighbour who would come and sit with your son so that your mum could go with you? I had my mum at both of my previous births and she was much more helpful during delivery than my husband lol, although I can’t imagine him risking missing it, he’d go but not drink. Also, could your husband hire a car if it’s important he goes? Car hire can be reasonable especially as train fares are often expensive. Good luck!

StealthLemonade · 19/02/2020 17:44

Seems ok, I'd just say don't drink so he is able to drive back.

slipperywhensparticus · 19/02/2020 17:45

My daughter was born at 37 weeks but she wasnt exactly fast she did take a couple of days to be born

Treaclepie19 · 19/02/2020 17:47

My waters broke at 37+3, first baby. He was born 24 hours later. So I'd be cautious.

BadCatDirtyCat · 19/02/2020 17:50

I think it's reasonable for him to go so long as he can get back within a couple of hours if need be, so either calculate how much a mini cab would cost (that's prob what I would do as it's quite a low risk) or get a hire car.

nachthexe · 19/02/2020 17:52

2 hours away? No bother. Did it in all three pregnancies. Usually further.

elb1504 · 19/02/2020 17:54

My husband has a similar overnight work thing when I'll be just short of 37 weeks, I've encouraged him to go and I have my 2 sister in laws staying over just incase anything happens.

Is there anyone that can stay with you OP?

SueEllenMishke · 19/02/2020 18:05

I think going but not drinking is the compromise.
I had DS at 37 weeks but DH actually stopped drinking at around 35 weeks anyway.

Eggcellent29 · 19/02/2020 18:11

The main issue here seems to be the drink. A 2 hour drive really isn’t a problem as it’s highly unlikely you’ll go from zero to baby in arms in that time!

Just ask him not to drink. If he really can’t go one night without a drink to ensure that he can be present for the birth of his child in an emergency then it sounds like he may have a very serious drinking problem!

mummy21l · 19/02/2020 18:16

My husband had to travel a couple of times a week when I was expecting my first, I was overdue 40+5 and he had evening travel commitments 2 hours away, and of course I came into labour.

He used to travel on his own everywhere he went leading up to so that he could dash back if need be.

I was in labour for 24 hours followed by emergency section so he didn't miss much 😂

As long as he stays off the booze and can wizz back I'd be ok with it 2 hours away.

Ibizababyy · 19/02/2020 20:18

Personally I’d be saying he either goes and doesn’t drink and drives home or doesn’t go. But that’s coming from the person whose first came very quickly at 37+4. I’m 36 today with my second and dh is now not drinking until this one arrives just incase!

Original poster

KHall84 · 19/02/2020 20:26

Thanks everyone, I have given him this feed back and we have decided he wont go just in case as even if he dodnt drink if it was middle of night he wouldn't be ablr to get train back until morning,

@Eggcellent29 thank you for your reply it's not that he cant go one night without drinking as he never goes out with his mates we tend to do drinks with friends together so only time he drinks is works function events as he is C.O.O of the company I think he just felt he should be there and enjoy the night like everyone else however he also knows his family come first.

And I have had a gut feeling am going to be a week or 2 early from about 20 weeks into my pregnancy I dont know why I cant explain it maybe cause he is going to be a big baby I dont know which osnt great timing if he is as it's my LB birthday party 4th April and his birthday the 10th April which is also Easter weekend time will tell I guess x

OP posts:

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