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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How did you deal with losing friends during pregnancy?

3 replies

erised · 19/02/2020 13:20

I can definitely feel my friends drifting away from me. They are slightly younger than me with no kids and they now make no effort to stay in touch with me, especially my best friend. She took my pregnancy hard and is slowly pushing me away. We now only meet up when I make the effort and when we do meet up, it's awkward and she doesn't mention my pregnancy, it's become the elephant in the room.

Did anyone else lose their friends during pregnancy? How did you deal with it and not feel alone?

OP posts:
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LapsedVeganAcademic · 19/02/2020 13:40

It happened to me during my first pregnancy, and I think it may be happening again now during my fifth.

In each case, a single and childfree friend who just couldn't accept my habit of always treating the needs of my children as more important than them. What has helped? A psychologist friend who told me "look, if they can't understand how central your children are to your life, it's likely because their parents never gave them the love and affection they needed." That has helped me to feel compassion rather than annoyance.

Ultimately, though, as I'm sure you realise - there's sadly really nothing you can do. You can't compel a friend to adjust to or to accept the changes in your life. You may need to "move on" and find some new friends. Maybe have a look at some ante-natal groups in your area - aquafit, bumps 'n babies cafes etc?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 19/02/2020 16:30

OP some of my better friendships are ones with people that have come and go over the years. You might find you reconnect later down the line. Its a bit sad now, but in reality do you want to be 'friends' with people who dont get what you're going through? That sounds quite lonely to me.

As PP has said, you'll make 'mummy' friends along the way.

Snoopy28x · 19/02/2020 20:16

The way I see it, is if they just drop your friendship, then maybe they weren't worthy of your time! I lost touch with alot of people with my first baby, I tried to make the effort then realised when I didnt, I didnt hear from them. Their loss. I now have a handful of true friends that have been with me through thick and thin, good times and bad.

I would rather have a couple of friends like that, than loads of friends who pick you up and drop you when they like.

You will be very busy with your little person and will make new friends xx

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