13 weeks pregnant and wanting a dog too

[madasyaf]

Hi there,

Some people might think I’m mad for thinking this.... so my fiancé and I moved into our house in December and literally in our first week in the house I found out I was pregnant. You know the saying, new house, new baby. We were surprised but overjoyed, it was sooner than we expected but still happy. We were planning on getting a dog after we had settled in and got Christmas out of the way with but obviously having a baby we were going to put that on hold.

Thing is though, I’ve always had dogs from growing up and even got my own dog when I lived with my mum and dad. We didn’t take him with us to our new house because it wasn’t fair to separate him from the other dogs.

So I’m quite experienced, my partner has had dogs in the past too, and even though I’m pregnant I feel like I’m capable of caring for a little puppy. It’s still early in the pregnancy too so I have time to settle the pup in before our new arrival.

The house seems too quiet without a dog and it is getting me a bit down. Obviously I’m thrilled to be pregnant and to be having a baby! We both are thrilled, but from always having a dog too, I feel like waiting nearly two years too long to wait...

I like the idea of our little baby being around dogs, my sisters baby loves dogs already because my sister had a puppy around when her baby was born.

And the dog is really intelligent and looks out for the baby too. Maybe I’m nuts... but am I being unrealistic? Is it possible to get a dog when pregnant?

Please do not get a dog. You will get posters on here telling you that they have 12 dogs and are pregnant with multiples...doesn’t mean you should do it.
Enjoy your pregnancy. Have your baby. You really don’t know how the next few months will pan out, so don’t take on any more. Enjoy the fact that you will not have to do any training, walk twice a day in all weathers, find a dog sitter for when you want to go out for more than 4 hours etc when you have a newborn.
Join Borrow my Doggy or ask around if anyone would like their dog walked.
Then in a few years, when you have you children and you know what it’s like to be a busy mum you can decide whether you want to add in another layer of responsibility, and if you do then you can pick the right dog for you.
I am a dog lover, and yes I do have dogs and children, but I have also seen way too many people have to rehome their dogs because of issues in the family. It’s incredibly unfair on the dogs and there is no way I would have bought a dog while I was pregnant.

Hope that helps!

"Do not do it. You've had a dog before but you've never had a baby before and do not know what that entails. I know someone who did this and ended up sending the dog back three or four months post-baby because they couldn't cope. Everyone told them it was a bad idea, but no, they knew best and now a poor dog has suffered massive upheaval and the uncertainty of rehoming as an adolescent dog because of it."

I agree with every word of this.

Have the baby first. Having your first baby is an indescribable upheaval and you don't know how you'll cope. You've also got zero experience in recovering from childbirth - that in itself also takes weeks.

FWIW I felt absolutely fine / great at 13 weeks pregnant but then developed pelvic girdle pain and hardly slept at all from week 18 onwards. It would've been hard to care for a dog in that condition. I'm obviously not saying this will happen to you, but what if it did?

I think there are lots of 'what ifs?' you need to think about here. Getting a dog right now is a big gamble which, if it didn't work out, would be unfair on everyone including the dog.

To be honest I would wait! We are staying with my mum temporarily and got her a pup, but actually even with her minding it it’s been a nightmare! If it’s not the baby crying in the night it’s the dog barking as it needs to be let out every two to three hours to wee, also I had a birth injury and the puppy is bigger and keeps jumping up so I have to avoid it or be in agony! Also being a puppy they bite a lot and need a lot of attention, if we were alone in our own house I wouldn’t have managed!! Might be better for you but I agree it might be better to have baby first and see how things are!!! Especially if you end up with a section!!!

As a huge dog person, I know how it feels when you come home to a house without a dog in it. I really struggled when I moved into my home with my husband 6 years ago and had to leave my dog with my parents.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I have two dogs now, one is 5 and the other is nearly 3, with varying levels of energy. Our older dog is an absolute dream in that she adapts to most situations, she will take whatever exercise she will get and miss walks on days and will happily play with a tug or a kong in the house instead. Our other dog is a ball of energy, she's a coiled spring who cannot miss a walk and is bouncing off the walls if she gets too excited. We've spent a great deal of time (and money!) getting our younger dog to be calmer and more balanced and for the last 6 months she has started to chill out a bit more (although she does still have a mad day every now and then - particularly if her routine is messed up).

I love my dogs dearly and they have been my life since I got them, we spend hours in the summer taking them out to various places and the younger one we take to agility classes every week.

But... if I were dog-less and pregnant, would I get a puppy? I'm not so sure. My heart would say yes, because I love having them around (and they are my sanity) but knowing how I feel now and how even my well-behaved dogs are, I think my head would say not right now.

I have been lucky in that I haven't suffered with any of the back/pelvic problems that have plagued some of my friends throughout pregnancy, but I'm still struggling to walk the younger one every day (and she walks perfectly to heel and at my pace). I said to my husband this morning that I don't think it will be long before he has to take over for me completely until after the baby is here, even though I love doing it.

With both my dogs, I found their behaviour peaked at it's worst between 8 months - 2 years old. Even the docile one pushed boundaries, I don't think I could have coped with a baby on top of that.

I also grew up with dogs and considered myself experienced, then when I had my own I couldn't remember any of the perils of teenager-dom. I once had a conversation with someone about how difficult it was to raise a dog and they reminded me that when I had dogs growing up, it was different because it didn't feel like exercising the dogs when I was playing with them. It's easy to think 'well we had a lab growing up and we only walked him 30 mins a day so we'll be fine' when in reality, he was being walked 30 minutes a day but as a child you were in the garden playing with him for another 5 hours to tire him out. Family dogs don't become family dogs without all the family being on board and sharing the load.

I think only you can answer whether it is right for your family or not right now, for us, it wouldn't work because we are always driven to high energy breeds (as we love doing agility and going on really long walks). I hope that helps!

I did. I went for a slightly older house-trained dog that a friend of a friend was having to give up though, not a puppy. (The first time.) Since then we have had two more children and two puppies. Have never been without kids and dogs. Growing up together with their dogs gives the kids something special.

I did this the otherway around, baby and then dog after a few months.

Pros: -dog has never been jealous of baby
-I’m due another soon, and not
very worried about how dog will
react (might be proved wrong)
-My child (2) and dog adore one
another.
-Dog got me out of the house in early
pregnancy when I felt rubbish

Cons: -first 4 or 5 months were really bloody
hard and I regretted it most days
-Making it work with jobs too is
expensive.

He’s a great dog now, but thinking back to when he was 6-7 months old I couldn’t have done that with a newborn. Dog adolescence was HARD 😂

Saying that I wouldn’t trust a rescue with a child, I’m not sure what the answer is there.

Oh I did have a section. I’m not sure if that made much of a difference tbh. Dh was military and buggered off when dc1 was a few weeks old. We managed fine and actually probably better in that I had to leave the house to walk the dog. I spent long hours in the woods and fields with dc in a sling and the dog ecstatically ferreting in the hedgerows. It also gave me company while dh was away.

Thank you everyone! I think I was just feeling a bit lonely more than anything. Honestly, if the baby is anything I’m like me, I’m sure I’ll be very busy with my amazing little bundle of joy! My mum thinks it’s probably a bit of maternal instinct kicking in which is why not having a pet is getting me down.

And soon, I won’t feel too lonely when I can bond with my beautiful baby in person 💕💕

What breed was you considering?