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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else struggling to keep it a secret?!

21 replies

NeverGotMyPuppy · 16/02/2020 20:27

Im 6 weeks pregnant with number 2. Last time we kept it pretty much secret til my scan but this time i just keel telling people- why?!

I've just told my mum over the phone which was not how I envisaged doing it.

Someone stop me!!

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LexiM · 16/02/2020 20:40

This is my first and I had visions I wouldn’t even tell my Mum until nearer 12 weeks... I’m also 6 weeks and she knows plus my Step Dad, Gran and brother. Plus a family friend due to some plans next month!

That being said I’m quite a positive person and if something does go wrong I would tell them anyway.

Now DH wants to tell his side of the family!

emstone · 16/02/2020 21:42

Yeah we've already told our parents 🙈 If anything does go wrong I'd like their support so that's my reasoning behind it 😂

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 16/02/2020 22:03

Well that was my logic but I think about 10 people know now and some quite random! Sickness is much worse this time which isnt helpful...

OP posts:

DappledThings · 16/02/2020 22:10

Why is it a problem if people know? I have no idea how many people I told around 6 weeks. I just mentioned it whenever it came up in conversation.

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 16/02/2020 22:16

I'm just worried that something might go wrong

OP posts:

flameprincess · 16/02/2020 22:21

Since I found out I've had so many random invites for drinks from friends and family out of the blue, while I am trying to hide that I am not drinking - is driving me barmy. With my first I told nobody until my first scan, this time around I've already blabbed to my Mum, Aunt and two close friends - am 7 weeks in! Haven't even had a midwife appointment yet it doesn't really feel real.

DJBebe · 16/02/2020 22:39

I'm 7weeks, we haven't told anyone yet and are planing to keep it our secret until the 12 week scan.... it's so hard. I've been having some mild tummy cramps and light brown/peachy watery discharge and I'm terrified that something may happen. Wishing the best to you all. x

yikesanotherbooboo · 16/02/2020 22:46

There is no need to keep it a secret unless you want to. The waiting until 12 weeks business has taken in a bit of a life of its own imo. Of course it is your personal news to share as you see fit but I agree with the pp who alluded to the fact that it is nice to have support from family and friends.

Bezalelle · 16/02/2020 22:47

If something went wrong I wouldn't want too many people knowing, which is why I've only told my friend who is a trainee midwife, and my best mate who lives abroad. It just feels like jinxing it to tell anyone else.

JaffaCakeGal · 16/02/2020 23:01

I've told the most random people such as exercise instructors etc and people at work but neither of us have told our families yet! It's killing me!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/02/2020 10:55

I’ve told 3 friends, my head teacher (I’m a teacher and was suddenly asking for time off for several appointments) and my TA in case she needs to take over my class while I throw up. I’m 9+4. My 12 week scan is on the 10th March so I’m waiting until after that to tell family, etc. It’s killing me. DH and I want to tell them all together.

SweetpeaOrMarigold · 17/02/2020 10:58

I've just had 2 MC and wish I had told people. Its rubbish keeping it a secret. Now I don't want to tell people what happened, because they will know we are TTC but once I get to 6 weeks I'm telling close family and friends

Saoirse22 · 17/02/2020 11:20

I feel for you. We told a few people very early at 5-6 weeks and then everyone recently after 12 week scan. Keeping it a secret was horrible and I'm definitely not doing it in future pregnancies!

I've been extremely sick and tired from the beginning of week 4 and had to stop working. Currently out of job for almost 8 weeks - imagine how weird that was in everyone's eyes, plus the burden of fearing for our finances (I'm self-employed, so no work means 0 money) and the nearly impossible task of hiding my sickness. Right now the sickness and bleeding problems are stopping so I'm slowly trying to get back to work. It's really hard after so many weeks off.

Honestly, the possibility of losing the baby is exactly what makes me want to share the news early. If the worst happens, I want everyone to know that our baby existed and was loved and wanted. I don't want to grieve alone in secrecy, I don't think we humans are designed for that. We had a major MS scare because of heavy bleeding in week 12 just before we had the scan and it was killing me. I'd rather tell people close to me "sadly we lost our baby" than make "you know, I was pregnant and I lost the baby, I really need to share this with someone" the first thing I ever said.

Saoirse22 · 17/02/2020 11:24

P.S. I too told my mum over the phone in week 5, that was the only way since she lives in another country! If she was nearby, I'd have told her right away, only in person. She instantly told all her friends and took them out for a celebratory drink, lol

newlymarried2019 · 17/02/2020 11:27

@BeingATwatItsABingThing we are almost the same amount of time along, my scan is on the 11th and I'm also a teacher who's already had to tell work due to absence / needing to leave the class

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/02/2020 11:42

newlymarried2019

We can count down the days together. Three weeks tomorrow for me.

I’ve worked out that I’ll have to be teaching my Y5s all about how babies are made whilst enormously pregnant. I foresee some awkward questions and grossed out children.

Rachael321 · 17/02/2020 11:58

We found out mid december and OH was desperate to tell people from the moment we found out!
I struggled to want to tell people after a miscarriage about 18 months ago after we had been trying for a year before and half trying since.

Never told anyone other than line manager at work to get time off for appointments and then my mum at 11 weeks, the night before my booking appointment with midwife!

After scan its pretty much out there now, told the people I wanted to first and now as and when I see or speak to people telling them now

JaffaCakeGal · 17/02/2020 15:35

I feel really bad about it today, someone who know said they think it's bad I haven't told my mum yet I agree, but equally I really wanted to surprise her with my early scan pic!

Bean20 · 18/02/2020 11:53

Hi everyone,

We haven't told anybody yet, we think I am about 7 weeks now although I actually have no idea when my last period was as life has all been a bit hectic lately. Now I'm wondering did I have one in January!? 🤔 I don't think so. Anyway, we plan to tell people nearer the 12 week mark once we've been for the scan and know a due date. It's so hard though as we have loads of social events coming up that usually involve alcohol! I'm going to try and 'pretend' to drink this weekend at a party but I'm not sure how many times I'll get away with that. Can we invent 'dry February' so I can just pretend I'm doing that!?

Oh and congratulations to you all!! Xx

sickandtiredofsick · 18/02/2020 11:58

I’m waiting till 20 weeks x

NicLondon1 · 20/02/2020 19:23

We also told both sets of parents (and my sister) as soon as we found out - honestly, it was hard not to but also if anything went wrong we'd want them to know too.
I ended up telling some friends at 8 weeks, once I knew there was a heartbeat. Then some Mums at my daughters school that I was seeing on playdates... tbh I was so tired & grumpy I didn't feel at all normal!
I wouldn't worry about telling people too much - if things go wrong, they will just say they're sorry and everyone will move on from it.

Just don't tell the whole world!

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