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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Sex whilst pregnant?

22 replies

essexanon · 16/02/2020 20:20

Hey guys.

I know this may sound really off but I’m 4 months pregnant and scared of having sex incase something happens or I start bleeding.

Me and DH haven’t DTD since finding out but I feel horrible for being like this.

Is this normal? How ‘active’ have you been since being pregnant? Is everything ok?

Xx

OP posts:
NemophilistRebel · 16/02/2020 20:21

Very active sex life
Now 26 weeks.

Once I got to around 18 weeks I’ve been so horny I’ve been practically jumping on DH as soon as he walks through the door.

So many benefits to it too.

PixieDustt · 16/02/2020 20:41

I get your worries. I bled after sex at 12 weeks. Was just one of them things and had sex regularly through out the rest of my pregnancy and no more bleeding. If you don't feel like sex don't have it it's not you being mean..

mrsc1987 · 16/02/2020 20:43

Ive completely lost my mojo, feel huge and uncomfortable at 22 weeks then added to that hubs has been poorly and now im coming down with a cold and chesty cough. I look like a yeti too i just cant be bothered with it lol. My hubby does understand but i do feel bad for lack of action.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 16/02/2020 20:58

Sex...what's that? 😂
Had it once around 16 weeks and all I could think about was how sick I felt (I have HG) and if I was going to bleed after (I know it happens alot)

Not done it since, I have ZERO sex drive, and hubby would rather me be in the mood for it than pretend just to satisfy him

littleduckeggblue · 16/02/2020 20:59

I bled during sex at 7 weeks and GP told me not to have sex until 12 weeks.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 16/02/2020 21:01

I’m not fussed about it. DH also not too worried. We’ve talked about it but neither is in the mood. Feeling huge at 33 weeks too. We haven’t had full sex since we had ivf in April! Done other bits but MY bits are way too sensitive and I wasn’t enjoying it.

jdy123 · 16/02/2020 21:07

I'm 16 weeks and have had a few times since finding out. I'm deffo not in the mood and have been worrying cause I had a bit of spotting after.
Don't worry about it , a lot of people will go off it , deffo don't feel bad Smile

emmab96 · 16/02/2020 21:12

It's perfectly safe to have sex while pregnant I did very regularly up until the last months I'm 36 weeks now and would I have no chance as I'm bloody massive and super uncomfortable all the time haha! I've added the NHS link for advice on sex in pregnancy to reassure you but it's totally fine as long as you're happy to do it of course!Smile

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sex-in-pregnancy/

Roozy123 · 16/02/2020 21:17

I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant and have a very good sex life.
I'm huge now so we have to be very experimental lol

It's not the same as when I'm not pregnant because personally everything feels more sensitive.. but still great 😍

twinkledag · 16/02/2020 21:18

I didn't do it all during pregnancy. IVF baby so didn't want to risk it. Had sex when he was 4 months old.

Meadows89 · 16/02/2020 22:39

Hit and miss...due to a bit of bleeding we were a nervous to but we were reassured by the doctor that sex was absolutely safe :)

Personally, I've found sex more enjoyable once I got past the huge bump i now have. Everything's more sensitive when pregnant and that was a pleasant surprise :)

However, if you're just not in the mood don't beat yourself up too much...if you fancy it, with all the hormones rushing around your body will 100% tell you!

karenleee · 16/02/2020 22:44

I'm 24 and 16 weeks pregnant and I have not stopped having sex with my BF we're at it like rabbits lol my hormones have definitely amped up our sex life but it we had sex quite frequent before finding out I was pregnant

Babyg1995 · 16/02/2020 23:57

32 weeks with DC 3 having sex as much as possible before baby comes perfectly safe unless doc has advised not to.

wowbutter · 16/02/2020 23:59

A counter argument I didn't have sex for 363 days.
Pregnancy and recovering.
DH and I are okay.

ChickenNugget86 · 17/02/2020 00:42

Even though I feel like shit in pregnancy, sex is one of the few things I've enjoyed. For some reason it feels much better for me. I'm getting as much as I can at the moment as after I give birth don't think I'll be fancing sex at all!!

yelyahyoung · 17/02/2020 06:07

We had a very active sex life up until like 30 weeks or so. Then we started doing it less, and now I don’t think we’ve had it for about 6 weeks or something? Maybe more, I can’t even remember lol. DP doesn’t feel that comfortable about it anymore with my big bump, he feels the baby is more ‘there’ lol.
I’m ok with it, I don’t mind, and I help him out if that’s where he’s at. Despite me still being super horny lol but I can manage, I AM huge and get bad indigestion and stuff so whatever, we’re not too bothered at this point... I’m 39 weeks and we’re just waiting to pop!
Don’t feel pressured or anything, it’s what you’re both comfortable with. Just keep the lines of communication open about how you both feel. You can always do other stuff if you want.

Saoirse22 · 17/02/2020 07:32

I think the only answer is you don't know until you try. It's easy to say sex is perfectly safe in pregnancy, but it's more complicated than that, it's hit and miss.

DH and I had a very active sex life from the very beginning. Then, in my 12th week, in the middle of night before the scan, I started bleeding like crazy (warning: TMI). Fresh, bright red blood everywhere, it looked like a proper period. We freaked out of course, it was an absolute shock after 12 weeks without a single drop of blood or even discharge. The scan showed the baby is perfectly fine, but half of my placenta was covered in black shadows - the haematoma that was the source of bleeding.

The bleeding happened three times during week 12 and made me feel awful, afraid, guilty and anxious about my every step. I know what triggered it and doctor and midwife agree - an orgasm. The contractions that happen during orgasm (and for some women during penetration without orgasm) can lead to bleeding. I've been ordered strict rest and no sex for a few weeks. I also got more frequent scans because they want to monitor me. I'm in week 13 at the moment and I'm still barely able to calm down. I'm not sure I'll be mentally able to have sex again during this pregnancy, even if I get a free light from the doctor. Luckily, I have the gentlest, kindest, most supportive other half.

You just don't know if it will happen to you until it happens. It can happen to absolutely anyone, no matter how textbook perfect your pregnancy looked like up to that point and how frequently you have had sex. Bleeding is not as rare as many think, it's just not something that's usually discussed before it happens. So it's up to you whether you want to try having sex. In any case, you should talk about intimacy and your concerns with your partner so that neither side is feeling anxious about anything. Communication and openness are the key. We all have natural needs for intimacy, but we also have legit worries that should be talked about.

MotherofKitties · 17/02/2020 07:37

Hi OP,

I haven't since finding out I was pregnant (12 weeks). Combination of fear of something happening and bad morning sickness making me the least in the mood I've ever been!

With my first pregnancy I felt the same until about 5 months at which point I got my mojo back, but my DH didn't want to know as I was showing by then and it freaked him out. He finally got over it (and me Grin) on my due date because it had been 9 months and the MW recommended it to bring on labour. This time round my DH isn't phased at all and I'm the one saying no!

Everyone is different. Just do what feels right for you x

Keyboard91 · 17/02/2020 07:57

Go with what is right for you - if you want it then there is no reason to stop you. Don’t do it just because you feel bad about having not done it. Plenty of women have no sex throughout pregnancy (hormones, discomfort, anxiety, low libido, all sorts) and others want it constantly. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about it :)

We didn’t do anything for a good 12-14 weeks as after 2 MCs I was too worried (DF knew this and was very understanding and didn’t pressure me - was a far cry from the days of TTC!). But that’s now a distant memory ha! As long as you’ve not been told not too then it’s safe. Spotting can happen, but midwife has said it’s usually either cervix has been irritated (could avoid that with no penetration if you wanted too) or you were going to spot anyway from a heamatoma etc. and an orgasm has just made it happen sooner.

At the moment (35 weeks and huge) we are going with mutual masterbation. DF is very happy with this, and it’s on my terms! Seems to be every couple of weeks. He attends to himself in between if needed as he has quite a high sex drive (normally I have a high drive too!).

Just be open with your partner and do what you want if/when you want it. The key is talking about your concerns and both parties needs.

RhymingRabbit3 · 17/02/2020 07:58

It's perfectly safe. Having said that, me and DH have had sex about 3 times during my pregnancy (I'm 36 weeks now) just because I've been feeling tired, ill or just not in the mood. DH has been great and doesn't complain at all.

xoxoluna · 17/02/2020 08:17

I'm nearing 16 weeks now and DH and I just had sex for the first time since I found out I was pregnant this past weekend. Funny enough I was the one who's always in the mood for it, and my DH was the worrying one. Somehow after craving for it so much, the actual sex felt uncomfortable for me. Bummer lol.

Make sure you got your doctor's okay. I experienced mild cramps every time I "o", which made me nervous at first.

essexanon · 17/02/2020 08:48

Thanks All!

I may give it a go, maybe will have a nice bath first to relax me as if im tense, itll probably be more uncomfortable.

Will see how I feel, glad its not all horror stories!!

xx

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