Hi all I'm new to this site, but after spending the last few days uncontrollably crying and fearing the worst, I need some advice.
I'm 28+5 now. At my 20 week scan I was told I had a low lying placenta. I wasn't too worried as I was told it could still move and it didn't pose too much risk.
I then had a scan on Wednesday at 28 weeks. At this scan I was told I had grade 4 major placenta prievia and would not be able to give birth naturally. I was also told I had more serious complication, my womb had a whole in it where the placenta had pushed through had attached to my bladder. The consultant explained that not only would I have to have a C-section but I would also very likely have to have a hysterectomy and surgery on my bladder. She explained that I would be very high risk of a huge bleed. From that moment all I heard was that I was going to bleed to death.
I suffer with anxiety and only recently came off medication for it. I have a 5 year old little girl who I look after on my own and I'm absolutely terrified the worst will happen and I will leave her all alone.
I understand that the doctors have to tell you the risks but I now feel like I've been given a death sentence and I'm just waiting for it to happen.
I can cope with whole hysterectomy, bladder surgery, having a catheter for months and Bering really poorly. I can't cope with thought of leaving my little girl.
On top of all this I now feel nothing towards my unborn baby. I cry when he moves and kicks as I think about what could happen. I've stopped wanting to prepare for his arrival, although I have got most things. I don't feel worried about leaving him behind like I am my daughter. I have spoke to my GP and I'm waiting for the mental health midwife to contact me.
I feel so alone. I have friends and family around me who are trying their best to help and support me, but I just get angry when they tell me not to worry or I'm in the best hands or other comments like that. I'm just so scared I feel like a ticking time bomb.