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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Second pregnancy - anyone felt overwhelmed?

3 replies

espressogin · 16/02/2020 09:53

Hi all,

I just need to get this out somewhere. I am 5 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and my first DC is 2. It was a planned pregnancy but as I'm 38 I expected it to take longer and it was very quick. I know I am very lucky for this to have happened.

However since I found out I cannot shake this overwhelming fear and almost sadness that my life is over again. I had just started to get myself back together at work and feel a bit more normal after a tough time with my first DC and now I guess I know I am back to square one again. On the flip side I feel horribly guilty for feeling like this and know that if anything bad happened with this pregnancy I would be devastated. Can anyone relate to this?

I feel like I cannot vocalise how I feel without sounding awful. I just feel incredibly alone. I have lost a lot of friends since becoming a mum (we moved area and a lot of friends I left behind are childless) and I guess I just need someone to talk to.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/02/2020 09:59

My DD is 6 and I’m 9 weeks pregnant. Since finding out (and we had been trying for just over a year), all I can think about is how little we can afford this. I just keep reminding myself that we’ll be fine and we have time to save up.

I think it’s normal to worry. Like you, I would also be devastated to lose this baby so keep focusing on how much we want it rather than worrying.

Cookiecrumble888 · 16/02/2020 10:12

Hi. It's normal I think. Hormones and natural worries are definitely going to play a role.

I fell pregnant with my second baby when my first had just turned two. I very much wanted another baby. I was also worried about morning sickness, coping with a toddler whilst exhausted and feeling well enough to function. I did struggle. But once the good parts arrive I really enjoyed it.

I'm not sure which parts you are feeling worried about? Is it night feeds etc?

It's important to focus on the positives. The scans, the baby shopping, the bump and planning for your new arrival. Then think of the parts that you loved last time after the birth. Having a newborn again and giving your eldest a sibling is such a rewarding thing.

Second time around it was easier. My labour was easier. I was more confident. I knew what to do. I knew when to worry. I was more relaxed with germs. Yes it's more multi tasky. I think for the first month I was flustered. I found it hard coming out of hospital and then everyone wanting to come visit. Having to try keep my toddlers mess to a minimum for midwives and health visitors. Those first two weeks whilst oh was off work I felt abit overwhelmed. 8/14 days roughly I felt I had to be up and dressed by 8am for midwives and growth visitors or to tidy up for visitors. I remember feeling relieved when that part settled again. The funny thing is nobody visits you after the first month! Then you are back to alone.

Things that I did to help myself were. Clothes out the night before for both kids and out downstairs.

To include the eldest I treated her the same. If I tucked the baby in I offered her s blanket too. I asked people to say hello to her first etc.

What I will also say is it's the best thing we have ever done. They are 2 and 5 now. I absolutely love them both and the relationship they have. Our family feels complete. It's not been horrendous. It's been positive and manageable. It comes naturally and you can't remember having one child after a few weeks. It all just flows. You will get into your own routine. That routine might not be a routine with set times. Bedtimes might be harder and lunch might be more chaotic. But it's a good thing.

My friends got one son. He's five and I do notice the difference between them and us. I think my friends a wonderful mum and I feel I'm a good mum too. She has more one on one time for her son and he's got a really good routine. He's bathed and in bed at the same time and eats at the same time and her house is organised. For me personally I'm winging it more. My kids get bathed 3-4 times a week. They may get a bath morning or tea or bed. Even in the afternoon. Tea can be anywhere between 4-5.30. bedtime is between 7.30-8.30 and housework gets done when we have time.

I love it though. You will be absolutely fine. It's normal to think there's no going back now and panicking. In a year's time though you would never want your life any different. X

espressogin · 17/02/2020 17:32

Thank you for the responses, I guess its just hormones. I will try and focus on the positives!

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