I'm not ok

[snch]

I've been crying on my own for the last few hours.
I just don't feel myself. I feel so guilty for weird things. I feel guilty for feeling guilty. I feel shit for not having any close friends. I feel bad for not being happy. I feel shit for not taking the dog for a walk. My minds just on complete overdrive.

Here to listen OP.

Are you pregnant? What is troubling you?

It’s OK not to be OK. Do you have a family member or OH you can talk too?

Please call the Samaritans if you need too: 116 123.

I'm here, talk to me. I take it that as you've posted this is pregnancy that you are pregnant, how far along are you?

I couldn't not reply. Are you alone or are there people with you?

Are you pregnant? Hormones can do terrible things to your mental health, I've been there myself. And I don't mean to belittle your feelings with that, it's just worth acknowledging that everything feels worse when you're hormonal. Can you ask someone to be with you? You might not feel like it but it will help to have someone there.

It’s ok. Welcome to the raging hormones. Very much needed to help your baby grow but they can turn you upside down in seconds.
I’m usually pretty chilled but whilst pregnant the wicked witch takes over! The tiredness is horrendous too. It didnt matter how much sleep I had, it still wasn’t enough.

You need to know that although what you’re feeling is common you can still ask for help. It’s not a reflection on what type of mother you will be.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. It’s the one time in your life you can get away with having lazy days. You’ve got the perfect excuse.
Do you have a supportive partner or family who could help you?

@snch what do you feel guilty about? Here to listen.

Thank you all so much for replying!
I'm 12 weeks and I've got my first scan on Tuesday. I just feel like my head is totally all over the place. I'm beating myself up because I feel so anxious and down when I have no reason to be.
I'm so lucky I have a lovely OH and a family that care about me so I don't know why I feel so down. The fact that I don't know is making me anxious. I'm an anxious person anyways but it feels so much more intense than ever before. I was supposed to be going out for my OH friends birthday but had a meltdown cos I hated the way I looked. I told my OH I was fine when I'm really not cos I didn't want to worry him about how I really feel. I know I shouldn't keep it but it comes back to feeling guilty. I feel like I'm a terrible person for feeling like this.

You really need to talk to your Midwife. You're not the 1st person to feel like this and won't be the last.

It's the fecking hormones. Don't be scared and ask for some support.

Pregnancy is so hard the hormones really send my emotions through the roof at times you are not alone in how you feel.

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not insane.
What I'm feeling now isn't normal for me I feel like I do need some help. I'm going to see if I can get an appointment with my midwife and explain how I'm feeling. I've told my other half not to rush home cos I don't want him to see me like this. I'm embarrassed that at the time when I should feel blessed I feel so shit.

Please don't feel guilty. I definitely recommend chatting with your midwife but go easy on yourself. Pregnancy is pretty rubbish. I am firmly of the opinion that it if something to be endured; you don't have to enjoy it or feel blessed.

Sorry you're feeling like this OP, I've been there, I've suffered with periods of depression and anxiety through both my pregnancies and PND afterwards. There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, feeling this way is incredibly common, those pregnancy hormones can really mess with your head! As others have said, talk to your midwife and be totally open and honest about it all, they'll be able to point you in the right direction. Hang in there, pregnancy can massively suck sometimes but it's not forever!

There's not always a lot to feel blessed with during pregnancy. For a lot of women, it's a really draining and gruelling experience - and that's why most of us only do it once or twice.

If it was easy and all flowers/rainbows/unicorns/fairy dust, we'd all have 10 kids or more It's really OK to not be OK at times, it's doing something about it that matters

I can empathise with you OP, hormones are making me quite low at times, angry at others and also irritable! Well done for deciding to speak to your midwife, I am sure they will be able to help xxxx

Just to echo the above, pregnancy is a really hard experience for some people. I’m on my second & I’ll happily admit this time that I hate pregnancy. Of course I am so grateful to be able to be pregnant & for the daughters I will have but the 9 months of actual pregnancy, hell on earth for me. It’s OK to feel grateful & low in mood at the same time. And the 12-20 week stage can be tricky if you find body image hard sometimes. You don’t really look pregnant, just bigger than you used too & that can be hard!

It sounds like you def need to speak to someone. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to open up to your OH, he’d hate to know you felt like this & couldn’t talk to him I’m sure. But if nothing else, def chat to your midwife & get the support you need 🧡