Scared to tell work

[Babyshine2020]

So I've been at my new job for 20 weeks, and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant. I've had a probationary review and passed but I'm shit scared of telling my boss I'm pregnant.

I very much feel she will be nice to my face and then gossip for the next 5 months.

Why am I even worried?

How did you tell your boss you were pregnant?
How was it received?

We're a very small team (2+boss) and we've both been in the team less than 5 months so just got the hang of things and they're going to have to hire somebody else...

Congratulations on your pregnancy I would tell as soon as you can, as it will give them longer to advertise and find a temp for when you’re off. It’ll have to come out soon anyway so might as well help them out a bit. If you’re sure you’ll definitely want to return make that clear. You haven’t done anything wrong and all employers have to deal with this stuff

When does your probation period end?

Thanks @BuffaloCauliflower. We've been trying for way over 12 months so even prior to the job. I just feel like in turns of work it's very crap timing but in terms of where our life is at the minute it's perfect.

If I'd of been there 6 months and then feel pregnant I don't think I'd of felt so bad but dates wise I'd literally been there a month. But it shouldn't cost the company too badly, it's a large company and in only entitled to SMP and I do intend to return.

I just over think everything. And it's been hard not telling people I work with, especially when it's such a small group and we run out of conversations pretty quickly.

@strawberry2017 it ended in December but with the holidays etc I had my review in January so I'm clear of that.

I had just got a big promotion when I fell pregnant this time. I won’t lie, I told my manager it was a complete shock as I was on the pill .. in reality, we were trying 🙈 only a white lie and it made me feel a bit less awful 😂

It will be OK. These things happen. I felt so guilty but I’m not far off having baby now and it seems like a distant memory! Just work your bum off & prove your value for the next 5 months!

@Bol87 my plan is to make it out as though it wasn't intentional, totally planned and wanted, but worth doing need to know, it's actually a very welcomed surprise as we were due to start Clomid last month because of a few factors.

We've just had somebody in another team go on mat leave and she had comments to make and she didn't even work with her

I had to tell my manager I was pregnant when I hadn't even started my new job yet. I was just over 12 weeks but I had a 3 month notice period so was about 16 weeks when I eventually started the job. I must have got pregnant the week of the interview as I went on holiday without DH the day after the interview. She knows this as I felt I wanted to tell her that if I had known I was pregnant when offered the job, I would have told her. The job I did before this one was at the same place but a different team. We had been trying for a year and had a miscarriage in this time. Was about to give up for a while but DH convinced me to keep trying until I knew about the job.

Anyway I ma rambling... Manager was expecting this and had already guessed I was pregnant. A plan is in place for my maternity leave and she is happy for me. Obviously it's not ideal timing but family is more important than work. It was awkward joining a new department 16 weeks pregnant but my team have been lovely, huggfd me and said congrats on my first day etc. Manager told the team herself which I was glad about because I think they should have had the chance to have an honest reaction without me being there.

Will be going on mat leave next month and am glad how things have worked out as I love the job and will be happy to go back to it after mat leave.

Hope it goes well for you, hopefully your manager has already guessed and will be lovely about it. Don't worry about the timing, it's just life. Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

That's very reassuring thank you @ChikiTIKI

She could be happy about it, but the longer I'm putting it off the bigger hole I'm digging in my head. We've just had a meeting about plans for the next 12 months and I don't want to continue them and lead her on really.

First day of my new job and I had to go in late as I had my 12 week scan, when I told my boss it turned out I was the 3rd person to tell her that day!

I know the feeling about long term work plans being made. I tried to tell my manager one time about my pregnancy but she was talking about how excited she was for me to join the team etc and I just felt so guilty!!! I think that might be when she guessed... I brought it up yesterday actually and we both laughed!! You will feel so much better once you have shared the news.

It happens, just tell them. I was about 4 weeks when I told my manager because I felt so guilty as I’d only been in the job about 3 months at that point. She was grateful I told her so early and just congratulated me. Ultimately, I’ll never know for sure but I wouldn’t be surprised if after I left the room she though ‘ffs’ to herself but legally, she wasn’t allowed to show she was in anyway annoyed and neither will your manager be. So just tell them. Who cares what they might think or say behind your back.

When I told my former manager I was pregnant and struggling with morning sickness he told me that I wasn’t performing and would be receiving a low score in my performance review. I handed in my notice a week later once a deadline had passed. I did report him but jack shit was done and he was supported by his superiors.

I told the HR rep at my next employer that I was pregnant during my interview. They didn’t bat an eyelid. My boss at this company isn’t remotely interested in my pregnancy which I’m happy with. They also gave me their enhanced maternity package which I was in no way expecting as I’d only worked there a few months.

Moral of the story - who knows how your manager will react. But you don’t have to put up with their crap if they don’t react well. Wishing you all the best.

I dreaded telling my boss too. I'm a nanny and felt so guilty! I told her at 6 weeks as something cropped up with her kids that I couldn't be involved in. The sooner you tell your boss the longer she has to sort out cover (saying that, my boss still hasn't sorted anything out by the time I was 33 weeks and I went on mat leave at 35 but I figured that was her problem as she had long enough)
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Just remember even if your boss doesn't like it, you're absolutely entitled to have a baby and she has to like it or lump it

Thank you ladies, I'm biting the bullet tomorrow. My jeans are starting to get pretty tight so I can't see it being much longer until in showing and she's away soon.

Hope it goes well!!