Aged 40, BFP, stressed. Anyone else?

[Magentastorm101]

Hi all,

So quick lowdown. Just had a BFP last weekend on an internet cheapie.
In total shock as this wasn't planned but is definitely wanted.
My husband, although happy, has been taking the path of 'let's just see what happens' as he's read the risk of MC is higher at 40.

Anytime I mention anything to do with a baby he stops me with 'lets just see what happens'

I mentioned the bfp to the doctor whilst there about something else and her first reaction was 'well it's very early days and anything could happen'

I totally understand the risk is higher as I'm 40 but now that's all I can think about and worry about.

I had my last child at 37 and was classed as a geriatric mum then.

It's going to be 8 very long weeks till the first scan all being well obviously.

I'm even considering paying a silly amount of money for a private scan at 8/9 weeks.

Anyone else in the same boat? Or have any advice?

Oh hopefully a mother who’s been in your boat can reassure you. I didn’t want to read & run so thought I’d share something I had as my mantra during the early stages, that it was more likely that this pregnancy was going to remain and be well than otherwise. I’m not sure of statistics of ages and pregnancies but I’m hoping abc assuming that all being well outweighs otherwise.

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Hello @Magentastorm101im also 41, and just got a bfp. Not even told DP yet as he is working away. I am feeling really stressed, most likely because I've had 3 early losses in the past 3 and so feel I can't say anything! Fingers crossed that we both get through this. 😁

The not being able to sleep isn't helping with the stress either!!

@wondertime thank you chick x

@Whyhaveidonethis I am so so sorry to hear about your losses.
Keeping everything crossed for this to be an extra sticky bean for you 💜

@Magentastorm101 round here an early scan is only £50 or less with a Groupon and can be done at 7l6/7 weeks.

Not in the same boat, no advice, just wanted to say congratulations!

@Whyhaveidonethis I might look into that thank you!

@Mlou32 thank you lovely ❤️

Congratulations! I have recently found out I'm pregnant and will be 40 next month!

I'm actually more like your husband whereas my partner is super excited - I'm just so worried about miscarriage that I'm too scared to become excited 😔

I'm also considering an early scan especially as the past week or so I was worn out, heartburn (already!) extremely sore boobs. But all of sudden, most symptoms seem to have just gone??

Congratulations! You are not “old” in my terms - I have cared for several women in their 50s! Yes, pregnancy loss can happen and is a little more common as we get older, but many women of only 40 have lovely normal pregnancies. However, I note that you were at the GP for something else - that issue could be relevant.
If you do consider going for an early scan please ensure that you go for one where there are properly qualified sonographers. Often the cheap ones are done by a random person with minimal training.
Good luck xxx

Hi I have just turned 40 and got my positive test last Saturday. It’s such a strange time as part of me is so excited yet a big part is holding right back, as I don’t want to get carried away until I know if everything’s going to be OK. I also feel like I can’t talk too much to people about it (my husband, Mum and sister are the only ones that know), but it’s all I can think about!!! Hope everything goes ok for you.

I had a dc at 43. 2. Effortless pregnancy tbh. Unfortunately I had a blood clot and had an emcs at 35 weeks. Def wasn't age related they said. Just bad luck.
Good luck op...
Congratulations!

Congratulations @Magentastorm101 ! I found myself very unexpectedly pregnant at the age of 44. I am currently 16 weeks and although there’s been some health issues for me that have needed managing (high blood pressure and gestational diabetes) the bp is pre-existing and I had GD in my earlier pregnancies so age itself hasn’t yet brought extra complications so far and I honestly feel better than in my previous babies (youngest will be 6 when this one is born). My scan and Harmony test have come back very low risk. No medical professional has batted an eyelid except to the extent of checking they had the right age for the combined tests. Which aligns with what @Sussexmidwife says - I don’t think even I’m seen as particularly old these days. Hope things go well - I found the first trimester hard as I had so much on eg planned travel and it was emotionally a big shock for me because I was making plans for pushing on with career progression and now I’m making both literal and emotional space for a big change for our family. Wishing you all the best.

The risk of miscarriage is about 50% at your age so I think they are right to be cautious at this early stage. I hope it all works out ok for you.

Darkstar according to google it is 50% at age 45. I think we are aware that miscarriage risk is higher anyway, I personally didn’t find your post all that helpful.

Im 40 & have a healthy 14wk old, pregnancy was harder this time around due to pain, i got low risk for downs etc so just because your older doesnt always mean high risk just look after yourself, rest as much as possible thats what i did.
Congratulations x

Thanks everyone!

@Sussexmidwife I was at the doctors for the results of a pelvic scan to rule out fibroids as I had been having extra heavy periods and the scan was all fine although I am on iron tablets due to the periods making me anemic. But I guess I don't have to worry about them for a while all being well.
It's great to hear so many lovely stories of us older ladies having babies.

I feel I am healthier now than I have ever been after losing 5 stone in weight over the past year going from a size 22 to a size 12 and taking my bmi from 'morbidly obese' to 'healthy'

I am just such a worrier!

I know what will be will be and it's so good to have you ladies to talk to especially as I'm not wanting to tell anyone else yet x

A family member had her third at 40 (older 2 kids were 7 and 9). I had my 3rd just before my 39th birthday by elective c-section which was unrelated to age. My 2nd pregnancy when I was 36 was much worse.

I'm 41 and have a very unexpected 2 week old (my 3rd child)!
I've had a very easy pregnancy, although have had lots of extra scans and tests - all unnecessary as it turned out.
Giving birth was a dream - in hospital for a grand total of 4 1/2 hours!!
Lots of my friends have had babies at 40+.
Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy.