12 weeks - am I depressed?

[Preggerz2020]

Hi everyone.

This is my first thread on this site! I’m 26 and currently 12 weeks pregnant (on the dot). It was unplanned, but myself and boyfriend of 6 years were really happy when we found out and can manage with our supportive families. Over the past 2/3 weeks I’ve started to feel really down. I’ve been crying a lot, been very snappy with people and in a bad mood / just wanting to go to bed straight after work. I’m not even really feeling excited about being pregnant at the moment. I don’t know what I should be feeling at this stage but I kind of feel numb to it all and like I haven’t actually connected with the fact I’m pregnant. I’ve suffered with depression in the past, after a big life event where I just bottled up all of my feelings and it manifested into me hiding away and isolating myself.

I hate feeling like this. I feel little/no joy about the pregnancy and am not sure if it’s down to the hormones (which I’ve read online can happen) and that it may pass over the coming weeks, or whether I am suffering with antenatal depression. I don’t want really want to go on antidepressants (I’ve been on them before) because I’m a panicker and know that I would spend my time being anxious about the possible effects on the baby.

I just don’t know what to do or if anyone else has felt like this. None of my friends, siblings or even cousins have had children so I kinda feel like I have no one to relate to.

I have my first hospital scan in a week (I had a private one at 9 weeks and all was good). I’m wondering if I should tell the midwife and ask for any advice from them.

I don’t know what to do or what to think so would appreciate any advice.

Thank you

I would definitely say to speak to someone about it. I think it's more common than people realise to feel depressed, low and anxious during pregnancy. Especially if you have experienced in the past. I was so excited about being pregnant at first and then I just felt really indifferent and negative about it as time went on which is not how I expected to feel and I thought there was something wrong with me. I am feeling much better about it now, but I have spoken to the GP and she referred me to the perinatal mental health team for some support.

As I said I thought there was something wrong with me but there wasnt, it's really common.

Hey OP, I think this is very common as I have seen a lot of posts about this on MN. I also posted about this sort of feeling! I am nearly 12 weeks and have had a roller-coaster emotionally since becoming pregnant. I've never been diagnosed with depression or been on medication but have had anxiety and low mood/felt depressed before in my life (most people have, really) and have seen therapists in the past. I'm also sensitive to PMS hormones which often make me feel low and introverted. Pregnancy is like PMS but WAY stronger.

Just know that due to all the hormones, it's very normal to feel low/unmotivated/ upset/depressed/anxious. Seek help in the form of friends and family; talk to people; and tell your midwife if it doesn't start lifting soon. I've read in second trimester hormones even out and this will often pass. You don't necesarily have to go back on meds; you could get some counselling through the NHS. Another good thing is exercise, it helps with endorphins. Meditation can help too. Prenatal yoga.

I found that being honest with myself and my partner, speaking to a close friend and my mum, all helped. I cried a lot about a week ago and it was a bit of a release. I've started to feel better since then.

Hope you feel better soon x

@IslayBrigid Thanks so much for replying. That’s really made me feel less alone that you have had similar feelings. And similar to you, I tended to really suffer with PMS and it would affect me for a whole week before my period! I will take your advice and talk to those around me and see how it plays out over the next little while. I’ll also look into starting pregnancy yoga as I love yoga. Thanks so much, hope all is going well for you.

@UrsulaSings Thank you so much for your reply. I will talk to my partner and close friends and I think at my scan I will talk with the midwife as I have read on their website that they provide antenatal mental health support. Thank you for making me feel less alone in this situation! I really appreciate it, hope all is well with you.

Hi OP, you are not alone.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I've been struggling for a while now but it's been particularly bad for the last week or so.
Exhaustion, depression, lack of motivation, crying a lot.
Knowing it's the hormones sort of helps but it's also frustrating because there is no magic fix!
Do talk to your midwife or GP though. I think I need to talk to mine.

@NameChange30 Thanks so much for your reply. It feels better knowing I’m not on my own and that there’s others in the same boat around a similar stage pregnancy wise. I will definitely talk to a professional over the next few weeks. Hope you start to feel better

Thanks, you too

Hey OP, you're most welcome I'm glad it helped to hear others stories. I did mention it to my midwife also and she sent me a link to some support services. In the end I didn't fill in as started to feel better but I think it helped to feel like it was available you know? Also with speaking to friends and fam. One thing my partner and I decided was to aim for a date night each week. We are doing up our new house and with the baby and nausea and hormones etc everything was starting to feel a bit stretched! So that has been nice too :) doesn't help that now my sickness is terrible in the evenings haha.
All going well for me I think, have my first scan next week at 12+2. When is your 12 week scan? X

I thought I was the only person feeling like this :( I really think this is normal with the amount of hormones and changes our bodies are going through! We're tired but soon everything's going to become a lot more real and hoping we feel excited xx